White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Whoooo DOGGIE! It's been a heck of a week, let me tell ya! TSD is tougher than all git-out and the pushup boondoggle has been getting me all worked up in the mornings. Throw some fasting and sedation in for a doctor's visit last week and you have all the bits lined up for a series of migraines. I was all lined up for that experience, ya know. I was on top of it in my usual sapient manner and cut off those rampaging nasties at the pass though. So, the doctor's visit went well. They pumped me full of wonderful stuff, I unexpectedly conked out after they asked me 3 questions and then woke up 15 minutes later without a hint or trace that I had been 'put down'. Lost time, I tell ya. There was a panoply of other patients in the the recovery ward that did not rebound as quickly as I ... I'm thanking God for my blessedly high metabolism every day.

The motorcycle safety training class: success. The written and road test were both passed and I now have a little slip of paper that says I may roam the high-ways and by-ways of America's transportation infrastructure unfettered. Now, the written evaluation was a snap. The big muscle lodged between my ears was barely even challenged since I took the online exam several times ... which ended up being exactly the same question for the in-class test. I had to read probably the first two or three words in the question/answer before realizing which of the three answers were correct for the multiple guess challenge. The road test was another matter entirely. One poor lady ended up 'High-Siding' herself TWICE during the swerve practice and if she had not worn a full-face helmet, she would have been hospitalized with a shattered jaw. End result: she passed but a center for a local foot-ball club and sergeant at a local detention institution failed. It was almost for naught to boot. The whole six hour class was nearly canceled due to lightning strikes. The morning class fell into that category and was rescheduled for the following morning. Instead, we were treated to an hour of fierce downpours and raging winds ... followed by unrelenting heat by the giant fiery ball of fury in the sky. Nothing like wearing wet denim on a steaming airbase tarmac to keep you sharp. So, now I'm through that, I can think about getting a motorcycle ... but with gas prices going down instead ($3.79 USD/g) ... the ROI calculation are all mucked up. I cannot buy that new leather jacket and chaps till I have a good use for them on the roads, you know.

I was able to attend the kids TSD test this weekend before heading off to the Airbase. The Grandparents made a surprise visit (the kids were surprised, not the Mrs and I) for the test. Needless to say, the Tyrants of Turpitude are now Red Belts and will be getting their black Ninja do-boks some day soon. I, myself, while extolling the advanced elite skills of the tyrants, will be taking my test this week in-class. This is going to be rather difficult for me, mind you. Alas, the next test will be sometime in November and I'll not want to wait that long. The tyrant may catch up with me and then all manner of hell will break loose.

Final note: the Agricultural Sector is doing well. The second (bumper) crop of peas is doing well, the beans (string and asparagus) are producing in sufficient quantity but the cucumber and zucchini vines are failing. No surprise since they were planted in the poorest soil I have ever seen. A few years of conditioning should take care of that. I've planted the second round of spinach/lettuce again since the roiling heat pretty much killed the sprigs from the last planting. Lessons learned: don't plant too early or you will fail. Much thanx to the Amish Hero-Dad and Super-Grandma for all the help with the 'farmers creed'.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Motorcycle | Karate | Children | Pushups

Labels: Children, Gardening, Gas, Karate, Medical Care, Motorcycle, Pushups

SO, how did the class go last night? Not too shabby. We spent the whole time inside reading over a book regarding the obvious topic while the sky outside was rent asunder by great discharges of lightning and boisterous blasts of rolling and cracking thunder. It was quite a show and we were visited with flooding and power loss throughout the area this morn. The Agricultural Sector may appreciate the great drop in local temperatures, but I'll have to be satisfied with less since I had not managed to set up my damned water barrel system yet. Such a slacker, I am.

Two other things to bring up: first, entertainment. Deb-Deb sent this to me which, oddly enough, made me smile and feel good inside. I cannot explain it, but it is fascinating how it worked. The guy has some killer dance moves too! As for poetry in motion, you may have noticed that little widget in the upper portion of my left side bar showing the current price of oil. With the recent drop in oil futures, the local gasoline purveyor is hawking his goods at $3.91 USD/gal here. This is odd, no? Less oil is being pumped, but some of us got the message and stopped driving our MegaTon SUVs to the end of the driveway to get the mail. Gosh, market forces in action!

Technorati Tags:Gas | Weather | Rain | Gardening | Motorcycle

Labels: Gardening, Gas, Motorcycle, Rain, Weather

So, tonight is my first class in motorcycle safety. I expect that the 3 hour class will mostly be going over various bits of information in preparation for the Saturday class where we will actually get to touch a motorcycle. Four classes, two on Wed and the other on Saturday. Will I end up as a devoted cycle rider in the end? Probably not, but we shall see.

The crippling heatwave that has been wreaking havoc with the garden and making the TSD review with the Tyrants an absolute horror? It's over. Of course, the damage has been done to the zucchini and cucumbers over the last week is irreversible. The only hope now is that what is left will produce a more hearty fruit due to it's tenacious capability of fending off the worst environmental conditions the Agricultural Sector has seen in years. The bucket loads of water that the thunderstorm landed on us last night was of little relief though, most of it just poured off into the drainage systems and was whisked away to the beleaguered flood plains. The temps are lower and we are supposed to get more rain of the 'pattering' variety though. At least the AC will not be laboring under the duress of Hell on Earth for the time being. Poor, poor veggies.

The Hundred Pushups program is on Day 2 now of 12/12/10/10/Max. My max today was 110. Huzzah! Bring it on. And all that other banter.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Motorcycle | Gardening | Summer | Pushups

Labels: Gardening, Gas, Motorcycle, Pushups, Summer

At the moment, every little thing is copacetic at the Haupertonian Manor. Oddly enough, work has been rather mundane as well. Not so much that my experience was any different than normal or that much less painful, but the delta was significant enough to make me perceive that it was normal and hum-drum. The lack of various senior officers and potentates sending one countermand after another till my email inbox was at repletion, I do believe, was most likely the impetus for that deviation from the norm. Instead, I spent my time at a miniature golf outing and then promptly attended a group luncheon at a restaurant with wretched service. The food was palatable but the waitress was counting on her natural beauty to make up for her general lack of skill in customer satisfaction. In the end, she was savvy enough to write herself in for a 20% tip which we promptly downgraded to 15%. I suppose if she had not been so audacious, she would not have benefited from our obvious largess. I do believe that standard tipping starts at 15% for acceptable service ... we did not get exactly what we ordered. The hostess was alerted to this but we most likely will not be returning.

As for the children, the tyrants are getting back into the swing of things. Swimming was as swimming does. They have new swim shoes and are happy with them ... they like throwing 'wet balls' about in the pool so they are starting to learn about treading water. It's kinda like life training, you know. TSD was as good for them as it ws for me. They were a bit off their game, but that is to be expected. We did some exercises involving a jump, combat roll and a flying side-kick that the little one's really got into. Oh, and as for their day-time activities, they were promoted to the 'Big Kids Room', meaning that it's the last stop before they are paroled as "Reformed Citizens". Of course, this means no naps which works for me. Oddly enough, they have been eating their meals entirely and I do not need to admonish them for squishing their sandwiches into a glutinous mass of bread and byproduct in the plastic baggies. No tremulous lower lips to distract me from having fun with them. It's nice to take a break from 'Mean Daddy' mode every so often. They are nearing the days of 1st grade at the local parochial school ... I'll be saving that particularly sociopathic personality for the teachers and administrators.

The garden; doing quite well. All the leaf lettuce and spinach have been ripped out by the roots except for one forlorn row of buttercrunch. At the end of June, I'll need to till that row under and replant for the bumper crop. Tomatoes are on the vine now, but the peas are destined for a fate similar to the lettuce. Broccoli is producing diminishing returns, but the cabbage is almost the size of my head now. Potatoes are ok, but need to be tended to. Beans are coming up quite nicely. Onions are the size of baseballs. Beats, golf-ball mimicry. And then there are the summer squash and zucchini ... ahh yes. Much grilling is planned for those bad-boys! My cornocopia of produce is overflowing.

Technorati Tags:Garden | Swimming | Karate | Children | Work

Labels: Banalities Work, Children, Gardening, Swimming, TSD

Well, that weekend went FAST! I got a bit of the mulching done on Saturday before the In-Laws (Mrs MDMHVONPA's Pregnant Cousin and her Husband) arrived. Good thing, I stunk like a barn animal. The two Appointments I had scheduled for the morning were a mixed bag. The AC guy did manage to show up before 1400 hours ... good thing. Cost me 110$ for a recharge for R22 though. At least the manor will be sufficiently chilled this summer should we need it. Yeah, who am I kidding, it's going to be roasting by the end of next month. Then there was the sprinkler guy. He just did not show up. I called and got the answering service who would be happy to relay a message. No thanx. I called this morning and was told that the service guys just did not work on weekends. Hrmmm, then why did we have an appointment scheduled. No matter. I surveyed the situation on Saturday and went down into the meter hole to turn on the system myself. It worked just fine after I managed to get the ball-joint open. All this with a maelstrom of main roiling under my left side ribs. Not sure where it came from, but it has been bugging me for a week and just finally subsided. Perhaps I should not block all those flying round-house kicks with my body. Finally, with the confluence of events this weekend, I attended an early Mass sans Sunday School and stopped off at the local St Judes shop to pick up some gifts for a 1st communion celebration we will be attending this next Saturday. Same day as the TSD test no less. I'll have little time to dicker around with my water barrels as I had hoped and there is still a mount of mulch in the Mile Long Drive that I need to deal with. I may have to take some time off to catch up on all this. I still need to pick up several diverters, spigots, overflow valves and, of course, the actual barrels themselves. With all the rain of late, the Car Wash has not had any surplus to had off. I'll have to ask next weekend in my 'spare time'.

Oh, yes. Speaking of the car-wash, their gasoline is now $3.60USD/g. I heard there is going to be a trucker convoy from NYC to DC today. I hope they can get some attention over the primaries about this.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Karate | Children | Plumbing | Gardening | Plumbing | Family

Labels: AC, Family, Gardening, Gas, Water, Weekend

Plans of men and mice I tell ya. Today is just packed full of deconstructed plans. I usually do not post on Fridays ... mostly because I'm lazy and I'm gearing up to remedy that for the weekend. This weekend, it will rain and my plans to do some gardening and spread out the mulch will most likely not be in the cards.

Now, for my other little wiggly bit of frustration. I was demonstrating to the Tyrants and Mrs the quality of my Top Shelf Grousing when Attila piped up and asked "What are Boxers?". Perplexed for a moment, I went to the closet and retrieved one of the limited pair I had in stock. I'm a tighty-whitey sort of guy so I typically reserve these for use as shorts. Now, having shown her a physical representation of the inquiry, The Mrs was curious as to where she had heard this term. Typically, we refer to such garments as 'underwear' or 'undies' in these parts. Apparently, one of her class mates conferred this knowledge to her. A young man named Sean, and his co-conspirator, Christian. And why did he bring this information to the table, you may ask. This was part of his mode of operations when SHOWING her his apparel of choice. Given how clothing hangs on the gangly frame of a 5yr old, the boxers went southward towards his ankles along with his pants when he dropped trou'. When his brother-in-arms(legs?) saw this, he also demonstrated that he too could participate in the peep-show. So, Attila made a mental note of the 'back of their privates' and informed the Teacher of their exhibitionist ways. Of course, she (Attila) is rather precocious and found that this demonstrations was neither shocking nor some sort of epiphany regarding the physiology of boys. My first thought was something along these lines. It's a little early for me to have to worry about this kind of interference in my parenting plans, don't you think?

Oh, and gasoline is now $3.52USD/g around these parts.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Gardening | Parenting | Sex

Labels: Gardening, Gas, Parenting, Sex

So, now that the weekend is over, I must walk the chimera of work through the week till I am free again to loll in fields of grasses and sweet alyssum with my children and wife. Gosh, I do detest Mondays. Sunday went as it usually does. It was the last day of Sunday School so we all said our tear sodden good-byes before skipping off home. Next year, the Tyrants will be too old to attend and they'll begin their journey through 1st grade. Time is starting to speed up now. Grams, Jake and I spent the rest of the day putting mulch down on the garden beds. Jakers was extremely interested int scaling the mountain of triple ground mulch and planting his shovel so as to declare 'I claim this peak in the Name of the Haupertonian Empire!'. That, and he was the tallest person on the driveway too. As the day ground on, Amish Dad and I managed to reduce the pile by half, covering the flower beds in the back and half of one in the front before darkened clouds provided a portent of a violent spring shower. It never did rain very hard, but it was sufficient excuse for us to abandon our efforts and sit down for a hearty late afternoon/early evening meal. It was a good weekend, hopefully I'll be able to finish the work by this next weekend.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Gardening | Sunday School | Children

Labels: Children, Gardening, Sunday School, Weekend

Sorry I missed posting yesterday (and by proxy, over the weekend). We have had a bit of pressure at work to actually get some issues resolved. Go figure. The weekend was just as busy. The Mrs had to be out of the house early for one thing or another on Saturday morning so it was me against them for a few hours. I chose poorly and tried to sleep through the event. I bear the scars that remind me of my folly. Genghis and Attila pounded me like a lump of raw hamburger till I submitted to their demands that I rise from the tomb and make them something to eat. 'Little round things' was the first thing on their list. Next, was publishing their manifesto in all leading news-outlets, but I figured I would appease them with English-Muffin Pizzas first. Just as I was getting ready to pop them into the toaster oven, the door-bell rang. I'm skipping over the multiple phone calls regarding the political aspirations of candidates bopping about PA right now. When polled, I tend to let them know that I disagree with the idea of public opinion polls. Back to the door bell. It was the Jehova's Witnesses and their unending speel about the end of times and not taking up arms against another country. Okay, fine. Here I am in my sweat pants and a camo Marine Cap and they are bending my ear about converting. I let them know that I appreciate their concern for my immortal soul, but I've got children to feed and a lesson plan for Sunday School to complete. And, by a matter of necessity, the Tyrants made dramatic entrances by which their grumbly tumies provoked them into ferreting out daddy to see why he had abandoned the task at hand. This complicated matters ... you know ... small children coming out and assaulting the people who were trying to preach about non-aggression. Ah, yes. Good times. After Alexis bestowed a parting raspberry and disappeared indoors, I excused myself from the dogmatic exchange and wished them the best. They were likely to have a rather abrupt day since the neighborhood ins 99% Jewish. They will find very few open ears. Speaking of the Sabbath Day, once the Mrs returned home, we had two trips planned. The first was to go stop at this new children's center near-by. It had various activities of which the Tyrants participated in nearly all of them Favorites: Rock-climbing, Karate and 'Dance-Dance Revolution ... OF DOOOM!'. Jake actually worked up a sweat. The Mrs and I have been toying with the idea of buying a Wii for them, but I need to get the chore/reward board up so they can start earning points that they can turn in for time at the computer or Wii. Only ONE console game in the house ... this will be problematic. The other trip was to Wallmart. Two of the regional stores will be closing up and a new 'Super-Colossal-Death-Star-Wallmart' will be opening up. So, the other two subordinate centers are having incremental clearing sales. It was the perfect opportunity for me to pick up fishing supplies. I had purchased a fishing license on Friday and I was planning on picking up a Tourist License for Amish Dad so that we can take the Tyrants out on a fishing expedition the following weekend. So, the two budding outdoors men both have rods, tackle boxes and all the assorted accouterments. We'll be looking to go to a few places: Loch Alsh, Lorimer and Springfield Lake/Churchville Reservoirs.

Sunday, well, was Sunday. Sunday school, mucking about in the garden (planting leeks and celery), mowing the lawn and generally puttering about in the Haupertonian Agricultural Sector or the Back-50. No Witnesses stopped by as they intimated. Huh, go figure.

Technorati Tags:Gardening | Children | Sunday School | Fishing

Labels: Children, Fishing, Gardening, Sunday School

Hoookay then. Another weekend under the belt to make me wiser and older ... more of the second than the first of course. For all the plans I made earlier in the week, having the Grand Parent Patrol about helped out a bit. Friday night, of course, ended with Dodge Ball and there was much fun and pummeling to be had. And that was the extent to which things were dealt with on Friday evening. Application of force. Little stuff like plastering & painting the wall patches, cutting and putting polyurethane on wood, nailing up molding, clearing leaves, harvesting the last of the veggies, tilling under the agricultural sector, running telecommunications wire, installing break-out boxes ... none of that got done. Although, when Gramps did have some spare time, we managed to replace one spigot in the rear of the manor that was leaking and the closet space that needed 'dressing up' was completed. Most of our time was spent shopping at the Local Home Depot Temple though ... which had it's own tales. We managed to visit on a day where they were giving away free hot-dogs and 'sliders' (greasy cheese burgers) so that made it worth the trip right there. Nothing like hot dogs with Düsseldorf mustard at the depot. So, the mrs almost has her closet space ready (I still need to cut the shelfs to length) and we have one spigot that may need 'professional' attention. It's right above the electrical circuit breaker box so I'm a wee bit wary of cracking that open right now. Next weekend, I may get that Telcom wire run though. It's cool enough to visit the attic without bursting into a puddle of sweat. In fact, I started up the wood burning stove this weekend. Yes, the crisp chill of winter has finally made itself known ... in the inviolate sanctuary of our Master Suite. Makes it really tough to get up in the morning, don't ya know. So, that made the Daylight savings sleep-a-thon a delight. I managed to get that hour back AND make breakfast before heading off to our church for some Sunday Morning Catechism. Then, the day ground down to a fine powdery residue as Grams cooked up a fine dinner and Gramps confiscated the 'indoor green-house' for growing God-Knows-What at his Agri-Bio-Tech company. Me, I just planted garlic among the seedling hybrid willow trees for next year's harvest.

Final note, I was supposed to get my flu shot this fine Monday morning but due to a change in policy with the subcontractor who does these things, I now need a note from my doctor that it is ok. You see, because I have a neurological disorder, that makes me a high risk factor. Just the ppl you want getting the damn shot. So I called the doc, went to pick up the script, and by the time I managed to wend my way back, the sub-contractor had closed up shop. I had to reschedule for next week. Gha!

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Grandparents | Dodge Ball | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Flu Shot, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Multiple Sclerosis, Plumbing, Weather, Winter

And Hellllooooooo Monday. I'm on support phone detail for the next 4 days. I'll be grumpy, irritable ... curmudgeonly, cantankerous even. However, all this flummery about my attitude means little when the change is nearly invisible to my peers and associates. Yep, happy-happy corporate suckup, I am. Enough of that incessant whining though. Let's talk about the incessant whining I did this weekend.

What was left of Friday ended up being quite mild. The Tyrants had fun at TSD practice and even more fun with the 15 last minutes being dedicated to dodge ball. One small concern was the persistent cough that Alexis first developed a few days ago. It was sticking around that that was not a good sign. She was going to get a 'sticking' on Saturday morning and if she was ill, she would not get her booster shots. So, Saturday rolls around and we are at the Pediatrician's office. We did the eye test, weight, height and all the other semi-routine inspections. Nothing note-worthy. Just two normal kids except for the Neural Implants and Cybernetic Augmentation. Then, came the shots. Jacob watched as each yard long garden-hose sized needles were thrust into his arm and the 55 gallon drums of weakened polio, typhus and other associated biological crap was emptied into his tiny body. 4 shots in all. He calmly watched with detached interest. Like watching an snail crawl over a hot driveway in the waning hours of an August day. Alexis witnessed this and became exponentially distressed at the appearance of every needle. When it was her turn, she was nearly hysterical. I could tell she got this 'needle phobia' trait from me. I am not entirely tolerant of such things. When she finds out what is involved in getting your ears pierced, I'm almost certain she will forgo the 'enhancement'. So, to through the shots, I had to restrain her in my lap and try to circumvent her 'grip break maneuvers' that we had taught her in Tang So Doo. This was extraordinarily difficult ... I am suffering for teaching her how to escape the restraints of adults. After applying the gauze and splints, and a few band-aids on her, we departed the house of pain for a house of Ice Cream and Pizza. You have to understand, we were not rewarding her for the anti-needle/anti-adult behavior. Of course, I do not have to worry about her taking any sort of illegal injectable drugs now, do I?

After the torture incident and the conciliatory pizza lunch, we returned to the manor where I commenced with mowing the front pastoral expanse and slicing up boards for the Twins to practice their Karate on. Breaking cinder-blocks is their weak link so I went out and got some fairly fragile pine boards that they could practice on. While I was puttering about the Mile Long Driveway, I spotted our Greek Neighbors and waved. It's been a bit since we have talked so we felt compelled to talk. One thing lead to another and Alexis wandered out of the Manor and spotted Gus and Irene and HAD to be involved. They have become our 'Fallback Grandparents' for the Twins. Soon enough, Alexis had disappeared into their home to go play with their piano and engage in other sorts of activity. Hours later, she had forgotten about the shots, and emerged from their home clutching a stuffed plush cat toy who she has since named 'Rose'. So now, the spoilage is complete. I think we can look forward to Alexis forming a tight bond with Irene who is quite intelligent once you have the time to speak with her in detail. Most likely a good influence in her life.

Sunday: Lets make it quick, eh? Sunday School - the kids love it and the New Teacher is appreciative to have someone with a bit of pluck to lead the kids in the 'wake-up' exercise. She is a bit older (Grandma status) and is not entirely keen on prancing about with a bunch of 5 year old whipper-snappers. We are talking potential broken-hip here. She knows not of my condition, which is for the best. Donuts afterwards and then back to the manor so I could finish mowing the Back Pastoral Expanse. The blanket of falling leaves make this an extended effort so I cannot go very long before I need to empty the bag. I discovered another issue with falling leaves beyond its ability to obscure the mountains of doggie-dip ... sticks. Sadly, one stick has managed to cause me an extraordinary bit of grief. One of the sticks popped up and got wedged between the belt that drives the front wheels and the central spindle that the blade is attached to. well, it snapped the belt off it's track and right into the path of the blades. So, now I need to purchase a replacement belt so that the front-wheel drive will work. It may be the last time I mow down the jungle this year .. but it would be best if I take care of this ASAP.

Other Sunday Accomplishments: Laundry, Made a pot of beef stew, Discarded dead plants, put polyurethane on the molding and some boards, fixed some letters on the CrossBeam of the TwinTower AA Platform. Then I rested. Of course, Alexis had drawn a thank-you picture for Gus&Irene that she had to present. That was a multi-hour activity, don't you know. So, there are multiple things that were not addressed on my list. This next weekend we are going to the Sesame Place Trick-or-Treat activity so we may not have time to do it then either. And I'm on pager detail this week. That, is a long and sordid tail for another post.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Karate | Church | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Church, Gardening, Lawn, Weekend

Lots to jabber about since I waited a few days to blog. Weekends are like that, you know. Anyways, to the meat in the meal. Standard Friday Dodge-Ball smack-a-thon. Kids have fun, I stay off to the side and keep them from smashing full tilt into the walls. Of course, by the end of the evening I'm dripping with sweat anyways. More so since I've taken to protecting the masticated toe from any further damage. So, after I get home and take care of business (laundry, other such sundry tasks), I head off to take a shower. Wash away the grime and visceral remnents of work from my labor wracked body, eh? Well, the shower head was directed straight down from the previous evening when I let Jovial Jake take a shower. He likes it so much ... just sitting in the warm spray and soaking up the relaxing sensation. So I reach up and ... CRACK-SNAP! I rip the head and leader pipe right out of the wall. DAMMIT! There I am, standing in the stall with the shower head in one hand, soap all over me and a bewildered look on my face. Time to call the plumber because this is not something I'm going to fix. We needed the filter in the faucet handle replaced since the flow was restricted from the chunks of water heater I had to replace on Memorial day. But this .. ghaa! We are planning on having the shower stall fitted with a 'shell' like we did in the kids bathroom, but not till next year. The budget is not loose enough to afford that till the following summer. Best laid plans of men and mice. Looks like we'll be showering in the kids bathroom till after our Master Plumber gets some time (Wednesday at 7am) to look at the mess I made.

Saturday was mostly lawn work and prep for a party at the Policeman Butler's home in the afternoon. The kids enjoyed it, I drank too much. Ate tons of junk food, hung out with the Philly Cops ... good times. The weather was nice and there were TONS of kids so our little tyrants had a splendid time. Sunday: The usual. The kids are now registered for Sunday School even though I'll miss the first 2 weeks. the 7th and 14th ... we'll be out of state and all. (Hushed whisper) We are going to Disney. I fully expect the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude to fully explode. They know that the Grandparents will be down next weekend, but our mendacious ways are obscuring the real machinations behind this visit. On top of that, BigLittleBrother learned of a NASA rocket launch scheduled while we are down there. Then, the fireworks will REALLY get going. But, I digress and have said too much. The rest of the day of rest included mowing the lawn, cleaning up leaves, repotting house plants and potting some herbs from the garden beds. Added bonus, mosquito bites. Much itching ensued. So now, I have 4 different rosemary plants in the manor, some lemon grass and a lemon tree set to come in and 2 more pots ready for the French Tarragon and lavender. I have yet to collect the seeds from the hostas (plantation lilies), garlic chives and morning glories. So much to do, so little daylight. I think I need a 3 day weekend instituted. Re-arrange the whole damn calender while we are at it. 360 days in a year, 30 days a month, 4 weeks a month, 20 work days, 10 'other stuff' days. You think it'll fly at the UN? I'll bet Hugo Chavez would go for it. Such a fickle twit would love to abrogate a universal standard. A pronunciamento of this nature would certainly fit in with recent bombastic rants. He is starting to sound more like me every day. Of course, the Mrs has to deal with the fall out of this kind of thing, think Microsoft and VCR times. Yeah, major suckage.

Speaking of suckage, on Monday I found the HP-Hostile woman had parked her car in the slot again. The kids asked me if I were going to write her a note. I said no, that would be like putting lipstick on a pig. A lot of effort and it would still be a pig. I'm kinda hoping they repeat that if we see her next time. But I'm not going there right now ... I think I'm going to have a talk with the staff there and see if they are interested in putting up either a HP sign or a no parking sign ... or even a sign stating that parking here will result in a fine, towing or application of some really gaudy lipstick.

Technorati Tags:Fall | Karate | Gardening | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Fall, Gardening, Plumbing, Weekend

Well, let's see here. What to talk about first. Friday was fairly anti-climatic. Let sleeping dogs lay was the theme for the day. I stuck around the Home Office all day in case I needed to be called on to 'testify' for the TL9000 audit of our division. Silly stuff, so I bounced about and helped out some of my co-workers where I could. Standard end of the week agitprop greasing the slide into 5 O'Clock slackerdom. Friday is an exercise in pushing items off your plate and trying to temporize any requests that may come your way. Any meeting you come away with fewer action items than you went in with is a success. Even better, avoiding meetings where you might get something which would demolish your weekend is even better. But, you know, that's not really the team spirit, is it?

When I was heading back to the Manor after skirting responsibility all day, I was about to load up the POS SuperSaturn with my wheel barrow of work related paraphernalia when I discovered that I had neglected a complete a critical task that morning. You see, the squirrels have been destroying my crocus bulbs in their quest to dig up the emerging 7/21 year cicclids. So, they happen on my bulbs and think: MMMMM, this might be tasty. Argh. Go eat the damn bird seed you tree rats! In any event, I've been trapping them with live traps and relocating them on the other side of the turnpike. No chance that they will find their way back. Now I'm not trying to eradicate the population, I know better. Won't happen. I'm just trying to remove the sub-class that seems to have the gumption to dig up my flower beds in spite of the defensive perimeter claymore mines and the cybernetic hell-hounds leaving their acrid scent everywhere. So, I caught on this past morning and dropped the chattering little bastard into the trunk of the SS, cage and all. And there he sat, all day. Gitmo could have learned something from me. It was a relatively cloudy and cool day so he did not end up roasting to death, and when discovered ... was still filled with piss and vinegar about being trapped. I let him loose and he bounded off towards the near-by military base. Probably to pick up some plastic explosives and assault weaponry to get back at me. He disregarded the contract I had him sign saying that he would denounce his former 'anti crocus' ways. Damn tree rats.

Tyrants behaved as they usually do. All uppity in the pool and such. Don't want to go swimming, want to go to karate till it's time to get out of the pool. Then they want to swim and not go to karate till I remind them that it's dodge-ball Friday. Fickle little turds. Jake is still a bit under the weather and had a mini-meltdown in class. We cut that short! His 'tantrum' is usually him clenching his fists and screwing his face up into a whiny scowl and emitting a high-pitch screech ... like a wind-up to a major explosion or something. Usually I just have to bark out his name and he cuts it short. I've only seen him do it twice, but I let him know that it's not a behavior that I'll let go unchallenged. He is starting to learn that he will not get his way all the time and there are more ... proactive ways of resolving conflicts. This one will not work.

Saturday: do nothing but sleep in with a cruddy migraine and slum around all day. Pick some veggies, clean up the Master Suite a bit. Hang with the kids. Since the lawn is a perfect beige color now, mowing is not required. I'll certainly make sure that the sprinklers are turned on next year, the lawn looks like hell after this summer. The garden isn't much better off, but we do have about a dozen pumpkins that are looking quite spectacular now. A basket of very intense tomatoes too. Very flavorful due to the limited rainfall.

Sunday: more of Saturday's activity. We were planning on going to Sesame Place again, but forecasts of mid-day thunderstorms and a general malaise with the Tyrants but the kibosh on that. Genghis and Attila took turns napping on the Iron Maiden (New non-Hydraulic Master Mile Wide Bed), desperately trying to shake whatever NEW virus they managed to pick up. That, or the old virus mutated in both of them and they gave each-other a new bag-o-crap ... which I'm now coming down with. Nice. Indeed, each had a bit of a fever and the hacking cough prevalent in the Haupertonain TB Ward. The phlegm and snot runneth deep here, mind your step.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Swimming | Karate | Children | Illness | Gardening | Lawn | Summer

Labels: Banalities Work, Bed, Children, Gardening, Illness, Karate, Lawn, Migraine, Summer, Swimming, Water

Well, it looks like the GrandParent Patrol will not be able to make a fly-by this weekend. Other plans, with each-other, don't ya know. No way I could possibly blame them for that! So, they'll be down the following week when the Karate test is going on ... that should be fun. Pizza afterwards ... I'll bring the wine again. The kids mattress pickup will have to wait a week ... I'm sure it will do. I'm thinking about setting up Jakes bed and letting him sleep on the sofa [ed. not as punishment mind you, he LOVES sleeping on the softer sofa.] till we actually use Gramp's Big Black Truck (tm) to pick up the bedding.

In news closer to this temporal moment, I got to work before 0800 today since I am now in my support rotation. Bleh, hope things go smoothly over the weekend. There has been a shake-up in the 3rd level support group and most of the seasoned handlers were moved into 'research' positions. That leaves us with a whole new crop of green personnel to break in. I'm not in the mood either. I'm still waking up in pain from my back and now a muscle in my side is acting up because of overcompensation. I blundered through swimming, karate and adult karate last night with little issue, but I have to keep it simple so I do not aggravate anything before next weekend. And yes, I still need to mow the damn lawn. And fertilize it ... and put up the molding in the MBR ... and 100 other little tasks that I never seem to get around too. At least the garden looks nice!

Technorati Tags:Lawn | Swimming | Karate | Injury | Plumbing

Labels: Family, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Injury, Karate, Lawn, Swimming, Tang So Doo, Weather

Been a few days since I've had the gumption to sit down and rattle off some tripe about my quiescent life, no? Mostly, the end of last week and the Weekend itself was dominated by my endless battle with the Lupine Alliance. Those little vermin have been doing a number on the agricultural sector. The raiding teams they send in have done considerable damage to the lettuce, green beans, peas and terminally irrecoverable sun-flower mutilation. They left behind scarred green stalks and nothing else. The tomatoes are still ok though. The onions ... gone. Dug up and masticated. I'll have to start reinforcing the border fence to keep these undocumented intruders out. Poison is not an option. F few years ago, I took a metal mixing bowl and rendered one unto it's early demise. Elmer Fudd asked to be my student after that. I'm thinking that I'll try something a bit more conventional this year. I have a ton of fencing material in the garage/warehouse that I could encircle the garden with ... I'll just need a few more support girders and some Belgian boulders to secure the lower quadrant. If that does not work (or I do not get to it), I'll just have to settle for putting stones about the outer perimeter fence and topping them off with claymore mines.

Speaking of explosives ... I took Jake to the movie theater this weekend. 1015 Matine at the Franklin Mills mall. There were 2 other ppl in the theater so no collateral damage to the citizenry was accumulated once Jake realized the the 'penguin movie' Surfs Up was not all that he expected it to be. About 2/3rds of the way thorough the movie, the popcorn and twizzlers ran out and we found that his attention span reserves were depleted as well. With some rather creative manipulation, we managed to hold out till the credits and exited the smoldering remains of the structure. At the same time, Antsy Alexis and the ever Patient Mrs were attending a ballet/play representation of Cinderella. She (Alexis) barely moved and was titillated by the concept of 'intermission'. Indeed, she was not even put off by the epicene nature of men frolicking about the stage in tights. You see, she is used to more Manly-Man types with axes and chain saws. I'm certain that will be her dating criterion later in life. Chop, split and stack that pile of logs and then we'll talk about a night out gigging frogs. Heh, we sound like a bunch of hill-billies! NASCAR, chopping wood, crops ... if it were not for the Manhattan Cosmopolitan influence of the Mrs, we would probably communicate with a series of grunts and community grooming exercises. After the entertainment, we took a drive out to the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant where a former coworker (and fellow multi-ethnic family) was having a birthday party for his children. Magician included. Much happiness for the kids since there was a suitably large playground. They loved sliding down the cooling towers. It was absurdly hot and I started to feel a bit scruummy after a while. Pretty much a continuation of Friday's bletch/heat stroke type wave of nausea. After a while (1600 hours), we had to convince the Tumultuous Twins that it was time to depart since it was an hour drive back to the manor. Of course, they both fell asleep about 5 minutes into the trip.

Sunday. Yeah, I had to mow the pastoral expanse and the back 50 or the grounds would be completely unmanageable. We would be swallowed up by Gnarlwood Forest. Fortunately for me, it only got to 120F in the shade. That was complicated by me FUMING over the state (or maSTICATE) of garden. Maybe I should go out and see if I can pick up a fully automatic 12 gauge repeating shotgun. Good for rabbits AND heavily armed intruders.

Children | Theater | Gardening

Labels: ballet, Gardening, Movies, Rabbits, Weekend

So, it was a fairly laid-back weekend for the Family Haupertonian. The Hazy sun blasting down the unshakable heat and the air, laden with moisture, enabling every item of clothing to stick like RTV adhesive to the flesh. Yep, summer is here. It was even accompanied by the Trademarked philly super-soaker thunderstorms. It's hot and humid, it rains to the point of flooding, then the sun comes out and heats it up even more with the additional hot rain humidity. YUM! In between the environmental weather artifacts, we had a picnic on the deck with the Tyrannical Twins. Chips, cheddar-wursts, carrot sticks and roast Pterodactyl. Delish! After roasting in the sun while trying to imitate the Ever Lovely Mrs broiling herself under the cosmic radiation (Yeah, she looks a bit like this when she does that, except with raven black hair), the retired to the cool darkness of the Manor Inner Sanctum for a nap and a bit of .... NASCAR! My little man loves his car racing. It all goes back to that pixar animation movies; Cars. I'm so proud, he is gearing up to be the best damn red-neck a parent could hope for. Could be a Governator some day! Durned tootin'!

Sunday was more of the same, but a bit less in quantity. Since I swam a mile while mowing the lawn on the previous day, I was not disturbed by the intermittent downpours which punctuated the day like small arms fire on the western front. Church went well and once we arrived back at the manor with a small box Dunkin Donuts, we ran into Gus on his way out to give an estimate for a kitchen job. We talked for a bit and the kids goofed with high-fives till he had to get going. We then put the Mastodons back into the kennel before banging on Gus's back door to pay a visit to his Gracious Mrs; Irene. She is apparently a linguist of sorts and can speak Greek (of course), French, Latin and was learning some Korean. No simple house-wife! We spoke of Cyprus and the Greek Islands while the kids rambled through her well kept home. Soon enough, the Mrs called wondering why there was nobody home but all the doors were unlocked ... and the hounds running wild throughout the manor first floor. So, she came over and we all had a good sit till Alexis became impatient. Not a bad way to burn a Sunday Morning. The rest of the day was spent on laundry, minor perfunctory manor dalliances and shredding all junk mail. I spread this in the garden to keep the weeds down. Did I mention that the tomatoes are forming? I've got about 5 now that are roughly 10cm in diameter. Lettuce is ready for munching and some of the broccoli is good to go as well. In spite of the little green caterpillars (picked them off by hand, little buggers), it looks like the cabbage will be set in a few weeks as well. Time to call in the migrant farm-hands to start the harvest!

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Gardening | Picnic | Children

Labels: Family, Gardening, Lawn, Weather, Weekend

For a Friday, there is not much to really mumble about. Just the standard tripe like mowing the lawn, busting my ass in TSD, laundry, etc. The extra-ordinary elements such as the advent of summer uniform season have already been alluded to. This is good in light of the arrival of the omnipresent humidity which will haunt me till well after labor day. It rained last night and in the spirit of the Atlantic Coastal region, it just got hotter after the rainfall and it feels like someone slapped me down with a heavy quilt saturated with water heated to a point where my skin feels like it is being blanched off my body. On top of that, the weed-killer I put on the front pastoral expanse did not have the time to take effect and now I'll need to get some herbicide that has no fertilizer added to it so I do not poison the grass with phosphates and nitrogen. Gha! And to complicate my Good YardKeeping efforts even further, mowing wet grass is not going to happen. I need a good 4-6 hours of sunlight to dry out the jungle or it will just clump up and make a mess. If it's dry, that means all the hydration has been absorbed into the already supersaturated air. Yeah, this is why you all come here. To listen to me whine about the damned lawn. What was my tag line again? Oh yeah:

Life of the mundane middle class, in painful scrutiny

Heh, true to my roots, eh? Maybe I'll kvetch about the garden next week.

Technorati Tags:Lawn | Summer | Karate

Labels: Banalities, Gardening, Lawn, Weather

It's already Tuesday and I'm still trying to scribble about the weekend. I'm quite late to the dance here ... all that is left is the cleanup. Well now, I suppose I should grab the mop and get started. It all started with a fantastic migraine on Saturday morning. That little bastard pretty much wiped out half my sunlight hours. I'm not sure what triggered it, but it never bodes well when something like that crashes into your day like a tsunami of mind-bending pain. After 1300 hours, the vision returned along with my ability to stand erect without fear of loosing the phantom meals I had consumed in the 'dark times'. So, to stick my rigor mortis stiffened finger of spite into the eye of the universe, I crawled out of bed and up the ladder onto the roof of the Manor to clean out the gutters. By that time, the tar shingles were on fire and I was dancing about like a frantic tick on a match-head. It was a short task since I had installed gutter shields the previous fall, but some had come loose due to the elements and those damn squirrels. Destructive little varmints, they really did a job on my tulip bulbs too. All the bird feeders in the neighborhood keep them fat and happy so trying to get rid of them is a loosing battle. I used to live-trap them and them 'escort' them out of the area. More just moved in to live off the fat of the land.

Later on, the Mrs returns home from her weekend hunting trip at the various grocery stores around our territories. The Tumultuous Tyrants of Turpitude were happy to see their favorite target up and moving as well. Pummeling a prone lump of moaning flesh is not quite the challenge they are used to. Within minutes, the 7 billion cubic feet of triple ground hardwood mulch I ordered arrived and the mile-long drive was covered with an avalanche of the musky smelling material. That was the cue to start cleaning out the flower, herb and garden beds so that I could start with that unending task. I did get a bit of the leftover wood moved to the back-50 before the mulch arrived so I did have one bit of good luck.

While the ever helpful Mrs assisted me in denuding the flower beds, the Tyrants played in the sand-pit and demanded to be pushed on the swings every 15 seconds or so. After an extended lesson in 'please' and other niceties (lost on them was the understanding of this, just the mechanics were retained), I turned my attention to the Agricultural Sector. It was nicely tilled so I set to the task of getting the cucumber mounds pulled together and the seeds planted within. The Mrs disappeared inside with the twins and dinner was started. I was left to myself to shuttle tools and such back into the garage before the sun went down and the inevitable temperature drop freezes everything solid. Not quite the success story for Saturday as I would have hoped.

Sunday, however, was a different story. I still managed to wake with an inordinate amount of pain in my thick noggin, but I shook it off and we headed out to the local Home Depot Temple. The Mrs had it right when she insisted we take the POS SuperSaturn. She knew that the limited cargo space would keep me from draining the central bank of all funds. So, we just buy pansies, daffodils, snap dragons, wax begonia and 5 bags of top soil. After stopping at the local Produce Junction for our 2 gross tons of farm product, we made the command decision to have our lunch in downtown Hatboro. If you are not from the area, imagine Mayberry, without all the politeness and snappy dressers.

After frittering away half of yet another weekend day away, the clan raced home as fast as the fission powered fuel cells in the POS SS could take us. Zipped up the Mile-Long-Drive and unloaded the booty. For the rest of the day, we spent our time planting peas, beans, romaine lettuce, spinach, nappa lettuce, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, pumpkin, tomatoes and such. The Mrs, being as helpful as she could with her allergies, purged the herb boxes of nonessential matter allowing the chives, sage, thyme and oregano to get some precious sunlight provided warmth while I plant parsley, rosemary, french tarragon, basil and lemon grass. All the while, the Tyrants play in sandbox ... persistently requesting 'higher' pushes on the swing. The rest of the week ... well, that's just plain frustration in a bottle

Technorati Tags:Garden | Spring | Weekend | Children

Labels: Family, Gardening, Spring, Weekend

Let's make this one quick, shall we? As the demons of unfinished tasks nip at my rear as I futilely flee, I take time to throw an additional albatross or two about my strained neck. I got little done at work yesterday, and I can not claim any growth in technical experience or basic fundamental understanding of the underlying architecture. Ghaaa, I detest the first few steps in a learning curve, it's so difficult to disabuse yourself of the belief that previous paradigms or methodologies are still valid. So much time spent in the 'design', so little time left for reveling in your success. But I kvetch too much, no? I have a job that many would sell their soul for and the opportunities that come with it.

As I mentioned above, the albatross I just scooped up was about 7 yards of triple ground hardwood mulch that I'll be putting on the flower beds this weekend. Provided they manage to deliver it Saturday morning. If not, I'll spend my time pulling weeds and collecting last years dead leaves. I'm not expecting to have to mow since I scalped the lawn when I mowed last weekend. It looked awful, but I wanted to pull up all the detritus that managed to get pounded into the turf. The fertilizer/crab-grass protection and grub control that I laid down should work well too. After the NorEaster flooded the great pastoral plains in the front of the Manor, the marshy expanse certainly had enough moisture and growth-hormones to send up a massive Tropical rainforest. I'll pop the mower deck up a notch next weekend and reap what I have sewn. The clippings go right into the garden to keep the genetically modified, highly aggressive weeds at bay. I'll be putting in the drip irrigation system this year so it'll be that much harder for the Triffids to run rampant over the Agricultural Sector.

And gasoline ... I need to put another 10 gallons in the POS Super Saturn. It's at $2.76USD at the local station. Stupid ethanol blend switchover.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Gardening | Work

Labels: Banalities Work, Gardening, Spring