White Lightning Axiom: Redux

I'm completely spent from the load of disparate chores and events I pursued over the past few days. Friday night's halcyon hours of light supping and TiVo viewing were all too soon replaced with Saturday morning's scurrying and panicked preparation for the dreaded TSD test. The Twins were necessarily kept calm so as to not arouse Attila's Stage Fright nor Ghengis's penchant for light-speed hyperactivity and subsequent flubbing of forms. As things would have it, they did just fine and were rewarded handsomely for their efforts by the Mrs. Transformers (Brawl) for Ghengis and anatomically correct dolls for Attila to promptly strip and waterboard. Now, I also passed my test but I was not feeling all too well. The night before, I had that particularly uncomfortable itch in the back of my throat that was the portend to a cold. Indeed, the following morning my nasal passages had been blockaded by the Snot Revolution and my uvula was a bright red beacon of swollen rage. Yeah, I had a bit of a rough go of it, but I managed to drag through and then we went off to the default pizza party after the last of the 1000 pushups had all but become a distant memory.

The pizza party was fine and we had a relaxed time ... well, in between admonishing the Twins for not eating enough. Right from there, we departed to the Family Friend Seliga's home for a First Communion Party that lasted well into the evening hours. Mostly, it was because of the Flyers game. (WOOT! Great Game!) Just as the last drops of perseverance were being squeezed from my once bottomless reservoir, the mrs got a call from one of her co-workers who ... carries a support beeper. Apparently, one of their servers went down and the first round of beepers did not respond. So, we were stuck for a bit while the Mrs 'dialed in' to survey the battle field. Not too long though, she just commanded her minions to storm the server room and commit an IPL on the offending machine. Like HAL 9000 singing his final rendition, it went down into that long dark night and we were off. Back to the manor to put the Tyrants right to bed. They had been going full tilt all day long and were now in the process of turning the humidity directly into energy via fusion process. I could not keep up since my genetic blueprint did not include such wondrous organs. Durned Retro-virus, all picky about what pluripotent cells it will work with. Sheesh.

Sunday was a mess. I ended up sicker than ever and still had things to do. Now that Sunday School is over, I can assist with other endavours ... such as assisting with the KOC program to collect donations for Mentally Disabled Children. At the 0700 mass. I did the early mass since most of the older crew cannot make it at that hour and get all set up. I also helped out with the beginning of the 0830, which was greatly appreciated. When all you manage is a buck or two from each parishioner, it takes a bit of smooth talking and flattery to fill that bucket! I was their eye candy and I could also open the heavy metal doors! Heh ... and I wonder where my son get's it from. After the third collection, I stopped off at the local grocery store to buy the Mrs some roses and the Tyrants some donuts. I also had to pick up some salves and medical potions for myself. Gha, I'm such a wreck. Arriving home, the Twins were in the guest room in their jammies, watching the TiVo and the Mrs was blissfully snoozing away in the Master Suite. Who am I to buck the system? I shed my Sunday Finest (work day clothing with a nice sweatshirt) and slipped in between the sheets. Nice! Hours later, I was up again, puttering about the Haupertonian Lands and mowing the lawn while the Twins re-enacted the 100 year's war in the sand-pit. Not too bad of a Sunday, but I did not get the cooking done for the week and did laundry instead. Just 6 loads, but still, it had to be tended to. As for the rest of the day, I spent the twilight hours trying to be and erudite consumer of blog postings that I had been neglecting since Friday. Too much though. Monday morning, I got up a bit late and arrived at work at 0635. I'll need to do better next day (not!) but since the ENTIRE DAY was either preparing for meetings or attending 6 hours of meetings, I missed very little.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Illness | Karate | Children | KOC

Labels: Chores, Church, Illness, KOC, Tang So Doo, Weekend

Quickie for a day that I usually do not post. The Grandparents of Insatiable Love will be down this Friday Evening. Gramps thought he was going to help me do some lawn work, but we are going to go out fishing Saturday morning instead. This is in addition to Dodge Ball Friday and the last Sunday School Class before the summer break starts up. And, of course, there is the usual set of weekend chores (Laundry, lawn mowing, fertilizer, garden tending) and that Mountain of Mulch sitting on the drive that needs to be dealt with. So, given all that, I'll probably be much to busy to sit at the keyboard and spew forth the usual plate of tripe and trifles for the chattering masses.

Technorati Tags:Fishing | Family | Karate | Children | Church

Labels: Children, Church, Family, Fishing, Karate

I got nothing done this weekend. NOTHING! I barely left the Manor. I feel like such a slug. I did manage to get my posterior out of the sack on Sunday and taught the youngsters their lessons. I was taking the 11 4year olds for a few weeks since the regular teacher is out with a broken ankle. There is a set of quints in the class and they are prone ostentation as a matter of gaining some attention. If one ate a bug, the other ate an horse, the next a whale and the last ate the moon. They are fun to have about, but they can be a bit of a challenge to calm down when they get rolling. The rest of the class is fairly easy to work with. I just recycle the lessons learned from the Tyrants (with minor navigational modifications). I do not have to worry much about their combative habits since these younglings seem mostly benign. We shall see how they do next week with the chicks hatching that weekend ... should be enlightening.

Poker night went ok. I got trounced as expected. I suppose if I were really into it I would do more prep (like figure out how to play more seriously) but I'm just there for the comradery. Oh, and beer of course. Oddly enough, I watched a 007 flick the next night ... Casino Royale. Go figure. He is a bit more lucky than I, and my opponents do not bleed from the eyes when they are bluffing.

Technorati Tags:Poker | Weekend | Church | Children | Laggard

Labels: Children, Church, Laggard, Poker, Weekend

Friday friday friday ... what else is there to add. TSD was good last night - I was senior belt and there were no Black Belts to be found prodding me along to greater depths of dysfunction. So, I did actually feel a bit better after, but the following day was a 'movement reduction exercise'. Rough time getting out of bed and getting motivated to do anything other than plodding along in front of the CRT. Well, not really. Who used Cathode Ray Tubes anymore ... it's all LCD. No matter ... tonight is poker night with the team so I should be sufficiently motivated to get some yard work done this weekend ... perhaps even plant all those flowers and mow the lawn while I'm at it. I have a litany of other things to do ... get the AC checked, Tux Rental, etc ... Oh, and I'll be taking the 3/4yr old Sunday School class this weekend since the regular teacher broke her ankle. No rest for me after-all, eh?

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Karate | Children | Church | Poker | Injury

Labels: Children, Church, Injury, Karate, Poker, Weekend

I waited too long for this post, my tardiness is inexcusable. This quick, abrupt and brutal scrabble of a post will do no justice to the chronicles of the Haupertonian Manor's inhabitants. But alas, I cannot allow this lacunae of posting to continue or it may go on for weeks. I can be negligent that way. So, on Friday, we enjoyed the Killer Dodge Ball of Dooom after TSD practice ... except Jake who got a time-out for failing to heed instruction. He got to play the second game, but was promptly nailed within minutes of the game starting. Hard for him, hard for me. I know he enjoys the game so much ... he'll get more opportunities. Then on Saturday, I goof off. Pick up some dog dip, tinker about the Manor, but nothing of consequence other than restocking the wood brackets and doing the week's laundry. I felt a bit empty though. The lack of accomplishment was like a detox session to me. The laundry was a quick hit at the methadone clinic. Not the same, you know. I had a second chance at happiness on Sunday though. We did sunday school and ALL the children arrived and attended. The Tyrants and I went shopping where I happened upon the weekly 'Meat Bonanza' where the butcher slashes prices on the various cuts because their impending expiration date will cause them to mutate into some horrible zombie heard animal. I can see the slices of tenderloin slapping their way down the street now. Limpets of liver writhing about my feet. Vicious without caramelized onions, you know. Shaking off that peculiar visage ... we bought a few bricks of cheese and then some flowers for the Mrs. And, ran into her at the checkout. She was astounded at the damage one hungry pack of Khans can do with a credit card. Nearly $200 dollars in milk, meat and associated products ... donuts. So, we quickly paid the cashier and escaped her momentarily stunned countenance before she could react. Bwa-ha-ha! Chicken tonight!

Later on, I took down the miles of exterior lighting and started removing the ornaments from the decrepit Christmas Tree that had not been watered all week. I hauled it off to the Christmas tree graveyard where all of our trees go to decompose., scratching at the ground and whimpering the whole way. Then, after the long journey back, the Mrs asked me if I had found that last decoration on the tree. Urgh. No, so we back track to the graveyard, inspecting the ground the entire way and appearing to be some sort of cross between human and flamingo. Bent half over, scanning back and forth, searching for a little green tree amongst the grass and leaves. We turn the particularly hostile tree over and over to see if it was still in the branches. No luck. We surrender it to the tides of time and turn to return back to the Portcullis (we expected the Tyrants to have set fire to the living room by now) and out of the corner of my eye, I spot it on the lowest branch of the tree. What fortune! I must have saved 100 orphans from killer monkey-dog attack beasts in a previous life and this was my karmic return. To boost my karma account tally, I spend the afternoon practicing the staff form with the Tyrants and playing kiddy soccer with Joyous Jake in the Cybernetic hounds. He ran his fool head off till he was completely drained of energy, but not of will to continue chasing that damned ball. The rest of the day was spent in the kitchen, cooking up the chicken in a nice provincial herb oven roast recipe in my big cast iron skillet and vac-packing the rest of the meat for its final destination, the Near Zero Deep Freeze. I should name it, the freezer. Little Alaska? Sounds about right.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Chores | Karate | Children | Church | meat

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Meat, Mundane, Slacker, Sunday School, Tang So Doo, Weekend

I had started this Sunday Night ... but alas, the anti-soporific allure of the Television captured my attention and I ended up watching 'Tin Man' on the SciFi channel till the wee hours of the morning. These vicissitudes in my sleep patterns are doing me no good, I know. Sometimes I just want to watch a show without a squeaky clean animation character. Speaking of characters, the dodgeball/swim night went well on Friday ... followed closely the next morning of me hauling my sorry sagging rear out of bed at the absurd hour of 0745. The tyrants were rampaging though the house and this always invoked the 'WHINE' factor in the hounds. They understand if they simper long and loud, I'll eventually let them out to do their stuff on the back-50. Then, it's off to administer the death penalty to another innocent evergreen. I went to a small farm that I spotted on my commute to work that was selling live trees for $30 a pop. Free-range, yup. So I met a man by the name of Emmo who apparently had a son that went to Cornell! Funny. Even funnier was the damned ATM at the Wawa that I usually stop off at was out of order so I had to find a different working one. Cost me about 15 minutes. After I gingerly transported the 50 foot pine strapped to the top of the SuperSaturn POS with spit, duct tape and gumption, I cored it out and hauled it to the Grand Cathedral in the Manor with a bit of help from the Mrs. As you know, I have some slight balance issues and have learned to NOT TRUST my internal ear. Just because things feel like they are tipping to the left or right, that means nothing to gravity. I have to judge my 'uprightness' by checking my surroundings. Makes swimming a real bear. In any event, the Mrs gave her 'Seal of Approval' and the strings of lights were added. Ornamentation would come later at the deft hands (and myopic minds) of the Tyrants.

That afternoon, the whole clan spent time outdoors raking up leaves in the front expanse. The Mrs would rake to the curb, I would run the mower over the area to suck up the remaining leaves and detritus. Rake, mow, blow, suck ... ummm, yeah. We cleared out the front fairly well leaving mountains of leaves which were promptly blown back into the grass and garden beds. Damn. We had to do it though since we were expecting nasty weather the next day. With continuing unpleasantness through the rest of the winter. Indeed, it snowed that night and made a terrible mess. While we were at it, I had the Tyrants take the truck load of aging pumpkins from the front porch to the Agricultural Sector and SMASH THEM! HULK SMASH PUMPKINS!!! Heh ... time and place for everything, you know. They were starting to get a bit soft so it was time to dispose of them. I'm certain I'll get a lot of 'volunteers' next spring after I till them under. After the Mrs and I finished up with the leaves (the Tyrants abandoned us for the comfort of the wood-burning stove), I ran across the street to help our neighbor, Gus, with a couple of 25 foot tall trees that he needed to take down. Yep, just could not get enough lumberjacking in so I started in on the arboreal work in the local area. It took little time but the chain on the semi-commercial saw started to dull before we got to the hard part ... cutting the stump flush with the soil. Leaning over with a roaring chain-saw ... yep, I'm destined to be sore the next day. To cap off the day, I made some Bohemian Goulash and load of Beef Stroganoff for the week's meals. The Mrs made chicken wings (ACK!). The cavalcade of leftovers is never long lived. I'm not sure what I would do without the double-blessing of ground beef and pasta.

Sunny Sunday ... not so much. Snow, sleet and just general nastiness. This impacted the attendance at Sunday School too. Only 4 little smiling faces showed up ... all talking about how they were going to build snowmen and make snow angels in the slop that laid about the ground like a sodden quilt. Of course, we had to stop at Dunkin Donuts afterwards, and share the plunder with the Mrs back at the manor. The Tyrants decorated the tree and put nearly all their ornaments within the first 3 feet from the floor. Looks good to them I suppose. We rearranged some of them and filled in all the empty spots. I spent the rest of the day bumbling about with laundry, feeding the wood burning stove and puttering about in the garage. I did manage to get the automatic garage door openers rewired so I did not have to use the remote to open the durned thangs. Good to get something accomplished. Oh, and I finally put up the wall Spackle over the patches in the closet wall. Now for the paint and the new shelves ... I can finally put my clothing in the same room I sleep in!

Technorati Tags:Snow | Weekend | Lawn | Christmas | Children

Labels: Banalities, Children, Church, Home Improvements, Lawn, Lumberjack, Mundane, Rain, Snow, Weather, Winter, Wood

It has taken me more than a bit of effort to get this out. I've not been sleeping all to well of late and that is really putting a crimp in my usual loquacious writing persona. Indeed, my mercurial writing has slowed to a clumpy mass of semi-viscous sludge ... much like how I feel. So as for my absence from commenting on all your blogs, I'm so sorry. I'll get around to it. The plague has laid me low. The up side to all this is that I did not register much discomfort during the TSD test last Saturday. The Tyrants did well, for the most part. Attila had her usual 'stage fright/prima-donna melt down' act for 15 minutes before the test started. Ghengis was as excited as a little boy could possibly get. In the end, they both earned their promotion to Green Belt and spent the next three days bragging about it. It came to a point where I had to expound on the idea that no matter how good you are, there is someone out there better than you who will kick your lilly-white ass up around your ears. Alexis chimed in that that it seemed to her the arse-woopin' job belonged to Daddy. Not this weekend. After getting fully overrun by the nasty bug the Tyrants had infected me, the events really started to drag me down. It was all made better by greasy, cheesy pizza after the test. Ghaa ... talk about heart-burn. I spent the rest of Saturday napping, doing laundry and fixing the airflow fans on the wood-burning stove. Yes, we have yet to turn on the heat and rely primarily on the stove. So what if I have to use an ice auger to drill a hole in the ice formed over the toilet bowl! Since we spent a whopping $100USD on utilities last month, we would hope to continue that revenue retention behavior instead of using a shovel to throw our income into the fire as we gesticulate madly at the Oil Speculators.

Sunday: Yep, day of hypocritical rest. Took the Tyrants to Sunday-school ... got trapped in the bass-ackwards parking lot till nearly every single car but the 4 blocking me in had left. Then, after gnawing on their tires, we sped back to the Manor where I proceeded to pull down the tomato cages and strip off the greenies that were not frozen in the last hard frost. Oddly enough, the carrots all seem to be doing quite nicely still. Resilient buggers. Then, while the Mrs ran off to resupply our larder, I got down to the business of fixing the lawnmower drive belt, putting slices in the karate wood so the Tyrants can break them easier and then fixing the splitting maul that had a muffed-up handle. Trying to split rounds of wood with the handle instead of the head tends to do that. So, I have the handle cut loose, but I need to clear out the eye. Can't just drill it out since there are metal chits in it. So, with a ball-peen hammer, I go to town trying to force the remainder of the handle out. Everything was going quite well until I mistook my fleshy hand for the tempered steel of an axe. It did not give off that signature ring of steel on steel, but rather, the squishy/crunchy sound of bone and sinew being ground together by unforgiving force. The sharp pain soon gave way to an unabated ache ... but no apparent damage. It was the bone between the wrist and first knuckle of the thumb that took on the laws of physics ... and lost. So, I did what any rational man would do ... jump up and down while bleating out profanities and cradling the throbbing appendage to my crotch. You know, because that always helps. The cursing part, that is. And then, I took a nap ... only to wake up hours later when the pain and swelling in my hand were too much to let me remain sleeping. A few ibuprofen and some quality time with the family, all was right with the world. It's now two days later. Managed to get my flu shot on Monday morning, but said nothing of my illness since I know it is not the flu. Just another upper respiratory nuisance. Let me tell ya, my hand still hurts more than the shot, but I'm certain it is not a fracture, just a bone bruise. Next time, I'll just throw the damn axe head in the fireplace and burn it out.

Oh, and gasoline here in Pennsyltucky is nearing 3$/us gallon. And the newly elected politicians are talking about adding a NEW road use tax so they can fix the bridges that they let go to rot when they appropriated the funds allocated to that to ... build more roads and bridges. Dumb-asses.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Weekend | Karate | Children | Injury

Labels: Banalities, Children, Church, Flu Shot, Gas, Home Improvements, Illness, Injury, Karate, Sleep, Tang So Doo, Weekend

Hoookay then. Another weekend under the belt to make me wiser and older ... more of the second than the first of course. For all the plans I made earlier in the week, having the Grand Parent Patrol about helped out a bit. Friday night, of course, ended with Dodge Ball and there was much fun and pummeling to be had. And that was the extent to which things were dealt with on Friday evening. Application of force. Little stuff like plastering & painting the wall patches, cutting and putting polyurethane on wood, nailing up molding, clearing leaves, harvesting the last of the veggies, tilling under the agricultural sector, running telecommunications wire, installing break-out boxes ... none of that got done. Although, when Gramps did have some spare time, we managed to replace one spigot in the rear of the manor that was leaking and the closet space that needed 'dressing up' was completed. Most of our time was spent shopping at the Local Home Depot Temple though ... which had it's own tales. We managed to visit on a day where they were giving away free hot-dogs and 'sliders' (greasy cheese burgers) so that made it worth the trip right there. Nothing like hot dogs with Düsseldorf mustard at the depot. So, the mrs almost has her closet space ready (I still need to cut the shelfs to length) and we have one spigot that may need 'professional' attention. It's right above the electrical circuit breaker box so I'm a wee bit wary of cracking that open right now. Next weekend, I may get that Telcom wire run though. It's cool enough to visit the attic without bursting into a puddle of sweat. In fact, I started up the wood burning stove this weekend. Yes, the crisp chill of winter has finally made itself known ... in the inviolate sanctuary of our Master Suite. Makes it really tough to get up in the morning, don't ya know. So, that made the Daylight savings sleep-a-thon a delight. I managed to get that hour back AND make breakfast before heading off to our church for some Sunday Morning Catechism. Then, the day ground down to a fine powdery residue as Grams cooked up a fine dinner and Gramps confiscated the 'indoor green-house' for growing God-Knows-What at his Agri-Bio-Tech company. Me, I just planted garlic among the seedling hybrid willow trees for next year's harvest.

Final note, I was supposed to get my flu shot this fine Monday morning but due to a change in policy with the subcontractor who does these things, I now need a note from my doctor that it is ok. You see, because I have a neurological disorder, that makes me a high risk factor. Just the ppl you want getting the damn shot. So I called the doc, went to pick up the script, and by the time I managed to wend my way back, the sub-contractor had closed up shop. I had to reschedule for next week. Gha!

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Grandparents | Dodge Ball | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Flu Shot, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Multiple Sclerosis, Plumbing, Weather, Winter

And Hellllooooooo Monday. I'm on support phone detail for the next 4 days. I'll be grumpy, irritable ... curmudgeonly, cantankerous even. However, all this flummery about my attitude means little when the change is nearly invisible to my peers and associates. Yep, happy-happy corporate suckup, I am. Enough of that incessant whining though. Let's talk about the incessant whining I did this weekend.

What was left of Friday ended up being quite mild. The Tyrants had fun at TSD practice and even more fun with the 15 last minutes being dedicated to dodge ball. One small concern was the persistent cough that Alexis first developed a few days ago. It was sticking around that that was not a good sign. She was going to get a 'sticking' on Saturday morning and if she was ill, she would not get her booster shots. So, Saturday rolls around and we are at the Pediatrician's office. We did the eye test, weight, height and all the other semi-routine inspections. Nothing note-worthy. Just two normal kids except for the Neural Implants and Cybernetic Augmentation. Then, came the shots. Jacob watched as each yard long garden-hose sized needles were thrust into his arm and the 55 gallon drums of weakened polio, typhus and other associated biological crap was emptied into his tiny body. 4 shots in all. He calmly watched with detached interest. Like watching an snail crawl over a hot driveway in the waning hours of an August day. Alexis witnessed this and became exponentially distressed at the appearance of every needle. When it was her turn, she was nearly hysterical. I could tell she got this 'needle phobia' trait from me. I am not entirely tolerant of such things. When she finds out what is involved in getting your ears pierced, I'm almost certain she will forgo the 'enhancement'. So, to through the shots, I had to restrain her in my lap and try to circumvent her 'grip break maneuvers' that we had taught her in Tang So Doo. This was extraordinarily difficult ... I am suffering for teaching her how to escape the restraints of adults. After applying the gauze and splints, and a few band-aids on her, we departed the house of pain for a house of Ice Cream and Pizza. You have to understand, we were not rewarding her for the anti-needle/anti-adult behavior. Of course, I do not have to worry about her taking any sort of illegal injectable drugs now, do I?

After the torture incident and the conciliatory pizza lunch, we returned to the manor where I commenced with mowing the front pastoral expanse and slicing up boards for the Twins to practice their Karate on. Breaking cinder-blocks is their weak link so I went out and got some fairly fragile pine boards that they could practice on. While I was puttering about the Mile Long Driveway, I spotted our Greek Neighbors and waved. It's been a bit since we have talked so we felt compelled to talk. One thing lead to another and Alexis wandered out of the Manor and spotted Gus and Irene and HAD to be involved. They have become our 'Fallback Grandparents' for the Twins. Soon enough, Alexis had disappeared into their home to go play with their piano and engage in other sorts of activity. Hours later, she had forgotten about the shots, and emerged from their home clutching a stuffed plush cat toy who she has since named 'Rose'. So now, the spoilage is complete. I think we can look forward to Alexis forming a tight bond with Irene who is quite intelligent once you have the time to speak with her in detail. Most likely a good influence in her life.

Sunday: Lets make it quick, eh? Sunday School - the kids love it and the New Teacher is appreciative to have someone with a bit of pluck to lead the kids in the 'wake-up' exercise. She is a bit older (Grandma status) and is not entirely keen on prancing about with a bunch of 5 year old whipper-snappers. We are talking potential broken-hip here. She knows not of my condition, which is for the best. Donuts afterwards and then back to the manor so I could finish mowing the Back Pastoral Expanse. The blanket of falling leaves make this an extended effort so I cannot go very long before I need to empty the bag. I discovered another issue with falling leaves beyond its ability to obscure the mountains of doggie-dip ... sticks. Sadly, one stick has managed to cause me an extraordinary bit of grief. One of the sticks popped up and got wedged between the belt that drives the front wheels and the central spindle that the blade is attached to. well, it snapped the belt off it's track and right into the path of the blades. So, now I need to purchase a replacement belt so that the front-wheel drive will work. It may be the last time I mow down the jungle this year .. but it would be best if I take care of this ASAP.

Other Sunday Accomplishments: Laundry, Made a pot of beef stew, Discarded dead plants, put polyurethane on the molding and some boards, fixed some letters on the CrossBeam of the TwinTower AA Platform. Then I rested. Of course, Alexis had drawn a thank-you picture for Gus&Irene that she had to present. That was a multi-hour activity, don't you know. So, there are multiple things that were not addressed on my list. This next weekend we are going to the Sesame Place Trick-or-Treat activity so we may not have time to do it then either. And I'm on pager detail this week. That, is a long and sordid tail for another post.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Karate | Church | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Church, Gardening, Lawn, Weekend