White Lightning Axiom: Redux

So here I am at the Log College Middle School swimming pool, waiting for the kids swim practice to begin. Toasty as all get out! It would be nice I suppose if I were not sitting here in a sopping wet do-bock (Korean spelling mangled). So, it's the perfect time to sit down with the laptop, find ZERO wi-fi signal (not even an encrypted one, and just pound out a rough doc.

It's been some time since I've had a chance to fill ya'll in on the going's on around the Haupertonian Manor. There has been illnesses and broken digits. The illness has been distributed among the clan with equality and the snapped tendons, digits and such have been reserved for my enjoyment. My pinky toe looks like a bloated purple grub at the moment. That should be a wonderful when I go through my black-belt pre-test in a couple weeks. Oh yessss .... I'll be gimping it up in prime form! The Tyrants will be going for their second stripe on their red belts so they are only 6 months behind me at this point. Tough little buggers, they are. The force is strong with these ones! Their midi-chlorian count is off the charts!! (Geeky Star Wars Ref here)

Let's see ... a synopsis of all the other mish-mash that makes my blessed life so durned interesting ... Christmas was off the charts ... we had everyone down at the manor this year and the 100 foot tall tree looked FANTASTIC. The piano/keyboard lessons are going well and they are really shaping up to be a couple of Mozarts. I tried to keep up with their lesson plans, but my wretched fingers are too well trained to be at home on the computer keyboard. Alas, no late life shift for me to take up a lounge act with the Tyrants and the Mrs as a sultry swooner. Hmmm ... massive layoffs at work that somehow spared me but left me with an excessively truncated list of available victims for the support phone duty. Not good for me, but I'll still get paid. No bonuses, no raises, not 401k matching ... but I never had that before so I'm not too sore about loosing those perks. Like I said, I'm not picking up shell casings in a war-zone to sell back to some dubious buyer so I really am in a pretty good place.

Oh, and for Christmas, Hero Dad and Super Mom bought the Mrs and I a new kitchenette set and a new Refrigerator. The table and chairs are really nice and sit very high so I don't wreck my back leaning over the Tyrant's homework. The fridge is VERY quiet and having the freezer on the bottom is so nice. I could never find anything because it was stored at a level that would require me to have eyeballs in my knee-caps. Now, I can pretty much locate that frozen pleisaur roast that I made last week with no difficulty. I moved the old fridge to the garage where it now serves as a back-up for milk, eggs, broccoli and beer. Happy-happy!

Oh, and how about those gas prices! Jeeze, what a roller coaster ride.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Swimming | Karate | Children | Piano | Christmas

Labels: Beer, Blogging, Children, Christmas, Grandparents, Health, Support Phone, Swimming, Tang So Doo, Winter

Hey, wow ... look at me posting and postulating on a Sunday night! Yes, yes, after my many transgressions I should at least pretend to try and comport myself with dignity and restraint. PPttthhhht! After Friday night, that illusion has dissipated into a fine mist. Friday night, I stopped off at the Bent Elbow around 1615 hours and spent nearly the next two hours drinking a lot of scotch (about 10 or so snifters) and a few plates of deep fried 'happy hour'. That was my undoing. Damned crispy lard chunks ... soo tasty but oh so nasty for the arteries! I met my party, ranted a bit (she is a Democrat, I'm a bit to her right) and was assaulted by the Dos Equis XX girls till about 2100 hours. Got a hat out of the deal ... but mixing the pure pleasure of a single malt scotch with the poison of South-of-the-Border polluted water is not really a smart move on my part. Yeah, an early evening for me. And a late morning as well.

We spent most of the precious Saturday packing up the Family Tank v 2.0 with a month's worth of supplies for the week. Then, we proceeded to trail blaze our way from noon till 1600 hours to get to the FOB. Along the way we saw the landscape go from a gloomy grey and brown muck to the wintry wonderland of lake effect snow. Standard Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving image. Pine trees, snow, Grandparents, turkey ... and a roaring fire in the fireplace. And let me ask you this ... how do you go about getting a fire going? Well, with wood ... and that means chopping down trees! Oh yeah, Gramps and I hauled out the ropes, chain-saw, axes and medical kits so we could go about taking down a few dead-stands. Oddly enough, we did not need the ice buckets to keep dismembered appendages till they could be reattached ... or the tourniquets. Nope, not a single cut, bruise or scratch. Go figure. We managed to spend most of Sunday afternoon hauling chunks of wood about with all the vim and vigor a couple of mid-century boys could muster. Tomorrow, we will work on stringing up the Christmas lights. Mmmm, more ladders, heights and slippery precipices!

Technorati Tags:Beer | Grandparents | Weekend | Snow | Trees | Lumberjack

Labels: Beer, Grandparents, Snow, Trees, Weekend

Hoookay then. Another weekend under the belt to make me wiser and older ... more of the second than the first of course. For all the plans I made earlier in the week, having the Grand Parent Patrol about helped out a bit. Friday night, of course, ended with Dodge Ball and there was much fun and pummeling to be had. And that was the extent to which things were dealt with on Friday evening. Application of force. Little stuff like plastering & painting the wall patches, cutting and putting polyurethane on wood, nailing up molding, clearing leaves, harvesting the last of the veggies, tilling under the agricultural sector, running telecommunications wire, installing break-out boxes ... none of that got done. Although, when Gramps did have some spare time, we managed to replace one spigot in the rear of the manor that was leaking and the closet space that needed 'dressing up' was completed. Most of our time was spent shopping at the Local Home Depot Temple though ... which had it's own tales. We managed to visit on a day where they were giving away free hot-dogs and 'sliders' (greasy cheese burgers) so that made it worth the trip right there. Nothing like hot dogs with Düsseldorf mustard at the depot. So, the mrs almost has her closet space ready (I still need to cut the shelfs to length) and we have one spigot that may need 'professional' attention. It's right above the electrical circuit breaker box so I'm a wee bit wary of cracking that open right now. Next weekend, I may get that Telcom wire run though. It's cool enough to visit the attic without bursting into a puddle of sweat. In fact, I started up the wood burning stove this weekend. Yes, the crisp chill of winter has finally made itself known ... in the inviolate sanctuary of our Master Suite. Makes it really tough to get up in the morning, don't ya know. So, that made the Daylight savings sleep-a-thon a delight. I managed to get that hour back AND make breakfast before heading off to our church for some Sunday Morning Catechism. Then, the day ground down to a fine powdery residue as Grams cooked up a fine dinner and Gramps confiscated the 'indoor green-house' for growing God-Knows-What at his Agri-Bio-Tech company. Me, I just planted garlic among the seedling hybrid willow trees for next year's harvest.

Final note, I was supposed to get my flu shot this fine Monday morning but due to a change in policy with the subcontractor who does these things, I now need a note from my doctor that it is ok. You see, because I have a neurological disorder, that makes me a high risk factor. Just the ppl you want getting the damn shot. So I called the doc, went to pick up the script, and by the time I managed to wend my way back, the sub-contractor had closed up shop. I had to reschedule for next week. Gha!

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Grandparents | Dodge Ball | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Flu Shot, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Multiple Sclerosis, Plumbing, Weather, Winter

Okay ... we are going to be on our way so you may not hear much from us over the next week. Disney, Port Canaveral, and all that good stuff. If anything comes up and I find access to a kiosk, I'll try to send something in.

Technorati Tags:Vacation | Disney | Children | Family

Labels: Children, Family, Grandparents, Vacation

It was an eventful weekend. Indeed, I live in 'interesting times'. Way back in the "before times", it was a glorious Friday. Nearly everyone was on vacation, leaving early, or entirely uninterested in causing problems. The Friday before a legislated long weekend has got to be the nearest thing to heaven for office workers. I was allowed to spend time on the nits and motes rather then pouring it into the bottomless hole of endless refactoring. Of course, leave it to me to bumble that opportunity. That evening, I thought it would be wise of me to clean up some of the clothing I had left on the floor before turning in. After a long evening of blog writing and blog reading, I should really tidy up. The Tyrants would be returning the next day and I would have little opportunity to engage in such mundane tasks. Some socks here, a few bits of naughties there ... some shorts just out of my reach .. but I reach anyways ... and tumble. Falling, falling ... failing to catch myself since my hands had already been sent on a mission. I watch as the bed post starts to rush at my head, growing in magnitude as the velocity increases. My God, it's full of stars! No, that's the optical effect of electric discharge when you take blunt-force trauma to the temple as the force wave ripples through the grey matter. Ummm, ouch? No, no cry of pain or anything of that sort. Just a standard "DOH!". A quick check with my hand finds that the skull is marginally intact ... but slippery? Oh crap, I'm gushing blood everywhere. So, I immediately find the LEAST sanitary cloth in the house (kitchen sink cloth) and apply it to the grand canyon. I eventually locate the Mrs in sub-basement level 3F busily vacuuming up Hounds Hair. I notify her that at 2045 I had erred in my ways and we need to find some external medical care ... since I could see white at the bottom of the canyon, I assumed I would need some stitches. True to my evaluation, an hour later my epidermis was being reassembled with 7 little BLUE bits of medical fishing line. It was a short visit, I think, because I was nauseating all the other denizens of the Emergency Waiting Room. I think that asking them if they wanted to see my brains, they were afraid of wasting a good dinner. The funniest part of the evening was the admitting nurse. She was busy asking questions of me while I was inspecting her scrubs ... particularly the blouse ... low cut and all. Um, because it had a lot of tags and buttons you see. One of them had the word 'paper' on it with a big red line crossing it off. This is noteworthy because she was clenching a bit of paper with my name on it. On the back of her hand was scrawled my admitting number. Heh. They had me sign some boilerplate papers (is this a DNR!?) and then gave me a series of shots since it had been nearly 5 weeks since I had been in the ER. It was a gallon jug with a rifle barrel attached to it ... I'm certain of that. We get a TDP (tetanus,diphtheria,pertussis) shot which has the side effect of leaving you feeling as though you have been trampled by a rogue elephant. Damn immune system, getting all uppity.

Come Saturday, the vile poisons in my body have spread to every nook and cranny. All I can manage it to sit in the garden and pick beans. I was under extraordinary commination to cease any activity that may endanger my already damaged noggin. Additionally, I was to keep the newly sewn wound clean and dry for at least 24 hours. So, mucking in the mid-summer sun amongst the dirt and grime would be the perfect course of action, no? In the mid-afternoon, the Tyrants and GrandParents arrive. There are many maudlin entreaties for hugs and kisses. The Haupertonain Clan has been reunited ... time to resume world conquest plan 35-n. Here is the kicker though. We go to the early mass on Sunday ... the 0830 one. We are a bit pooped, but no matter ... we end up going to ANOTHER Seliga event. This time, it's ANOTHER child's birthday and the entertainment is outdoor laser tag. Yep ... there are pics ... take a look at my flicker tag and you'll catch some of em. So, I'm playing army with a bunch of gung-ho 35-45 year old adults and a greater horde of 5-15 year old adolescents. Guess where the injuries are laid? Sure, it was fun. But the cost ... oh, the humanity.

Mon, Tue, Wed? You ask as if you have not had children. It's all about getting ready for Kindergarten, don't you know. It's no big deal for the kids, same room, same kids, etc. It's a MAJOR deal for the parents. Word lists, supplies, lunch menus, BLEH! It certainly adds a lot of appeal to Home Schooling. I'll have to tell you more tomorrow about the Tyrant's reaction to the

Technorati Tags:Laser Tag | Injury | Karate | Children | Kindergarten

Labels: Children, Family, Grandparents, Injury, Kindergarten, Parenting, Weekend

Busy weekend ... well, not really. In actuality, a lot of nothing was done. Oddly, it was more exhausting than if I had actually done something productive. Saturday was primarily spent by me waffling about in bed somewhere between a lucid state and the bizarre dreamland I love to inhabit. The Grandparents were down so the Tyrants had little interest in me. Rustle up some bacon/eggs/toast for a family breakfast. Do a bit of laundry ... bumble about the manor and then go down into the chilled cellar to fill up a cooler with beer (IPA, Victory Lager, Victory V12, Chimay, Mikes Hard Lemonade ) for a party with the Butler/Seliga Clan at 1600 hours. It was SWELTERING hot the whole time. As sure as the sun rises in the east, the pool was somewhere near freezing though. So, the Tyrants were in and out of the pool like flying fish while the adults tried to sooth their beleaguered, senses by sloshing alcohol down their gullets in a feeble attempt to either numb the screaming senses or add a natural cooling agent to the system. Not a bad night all in all though. The party was for one of the extended family who is a Philly police officer and he had his partner and a few of his work friends there. He has made it his (jokingly) intention to make sure he has the opportunity to arrest everyone in his family at some point. Great guy though. Just got a dog, a Doberman. Named him 'Thor'. Go figure.

Sunday, ugh. Too much beer. Just a bit sluggish getting up so we went to the 1000 mass instead of the 0830. Since we were on the later side of the morning, we went out to the Warminister Diner for breakfast. By far, one of the best diners we have visited. They staff did not have the effrontery to deign our order too big to serve all at once so there was very little room on the table top. It was a rather good meal but we had some problems with the Tyrants and their eating habits. Alexis, once she got her waffles, did not want them. Jake was fidgety and had problems consuming his bacon and flap-jacks. They were still a bit tired from the previous night and were a bit gummed up (given that they primarily consumed chips, dip and cheese). Their digestive system is used to more ... 'healthy' food. Jake frequently requests chicken or pasta instead of junk food. Well, that is, when he is NOT insisting we buy a brick-oven pizzeria to sate his appetite for pizza at every meal. Later that day, the Grandparents packed up their belongings and we strapped the Tyrants into the back of their troop transport. You see, they were going to 'host' the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude for a week. Genghis and Attila treated this with great gravitas and spent most of the day inquiring if everything was ready to go. They had great interest in escaping the Manor for a quieter, gentler time at the FOB. I cannot imagine their spirits being any higher once they were trundled up and slowly cruised off into the horizon. Then ... silence.

We missed the children greatly. Sure, there was no early morning battle to get everything ready and no harrowing rush at the end of the day to start the extra-curricular activities. We got up a bit later and still made it to work (Well, I did. The Lovely Mrs took some time off from work.) early. Plugged through the day and took a 15 minute trip to get back to the manor. We went off to deal with some financial fallout from the Annual Budget Considerations and then enjoyed a wonderful early 11th anniversary dinner at Savona. It was distinguished by the lack of our little heartbeats making sure we were aware of their blessed presence. Sure, I talk glowingly of them when I'm hundreds of miles away ...

Technorati Tags:Anniversary | Weekend | Family | Party | Summer

Labels: Beer, Children, Family, Grandparents, Sleep, Summer, Weather, Weekend

Yep ... it's been nearly a week since my last post. When I'm good ... I'm really good. When I'm bad ... oh, boy, stand back! So, let's crank up the 'way-back-machine' and take a peek at the comings and going in the Haupertonain manor over the last few days.

Friday was a general day of levity. The Mrs had woken me in the very early morning when she came to bed which resulted in a woefully poor night's sleep. I just had a very hard time falling back into my usual fitful slumber. The result was a Friday of Bleck. Since it was 'Water Play Day' at the reEducation Center cum Day-Camp, I was not going to take the kids swimming. Just to give me a chance to make it through the day without completely draining my batteries and going into a spoon deficit. The skipping of a dip in the pool did not parse well with the tyrants though. The previous day, they were gleefully engaged in water torture with Miss Steph ... one of Jacob's 'Girl Friends'. She is studying to become a teacher some day and seems to have a natural affinity for my little Tyrants. If she can woo these two into complacency, she will be an extraordinary addition to the ranks of those we call Teachers some day.

Another strange event last week was my introduction to a man who had brought his child into Karate as a new student. Nicky, the child, is half asian-half white ... and his father has MS. And he is a 'lapsed' black belt as well. We had a brief discussion and found a great deal of mirroring in our experiences. For some odd reason, when confronted by mortality we tend to become rather 'evangelical' about something and our enthusiasm in our pursuits is quite obvious. I'll probably be having some quixotic discussions with him in the future.

The parents came down Friday night. Good thing; the alternative would have been a jeremiad of unparalleled proportions. You see, we had a karate test at 1000 Saturday morning and I was not in a good place. Unknown to me, something was brewing my my immune system that would slowly build up to a crescendo a precious few days later. So, the kids did exceptionally well in their test ... they are both now Orange belts and their rewards of a new toy and a pizza lunch were graciously granted. Beaming faces were the rule of the day. What could top new toys, pizza and grandparents? Why, mommy and daddy going deeper into debt by laying out the cash for new full sized mattresses and box springs for everyone! Gramps had his Big Black Truck down so we were able to loot 'The Dump' and cart off a massive wagon-train of booty. It was fortunate that we made the purchase when we did though. The items we wanted were either the last one in stock or, as with one of the beds, not in stock at all. We just happened to be rewarded with a mattress set which had already been purchased by someone else. Ooops! To the quick and daring go the spoils, I suppose. Of course, had we been on the loosing end of that transaction there would have been blood spilled and the Twin Barbarian Fury unleashed upon the entire hamlet of Langhorne would have been legendary.

Sunday: A day of rest. Truly for me. The Grandparent Patrol was on duty and took the Twin Tyrants to the 0830 mass, giving me a precious 60 minutes of extra slumber. This was capriciously squandered though. After I had returned from the 1000 family mass (and able to witness the unmitigated suffering of other fathers with toddlers about me), Hero Dad and I set to completing the chair rail and assembling the New non-Hydraulic Master Mile Wide Bed. Henceforth, it will be named the 'Iron Maiden'. By far the most firm bed we have had since the Mrs and I left college some two decades ago. The Mrs has since slept on it twice while I occupy the old guest bed. We have not transfered our alarm clocks and such ... and the Twins still come to the guest bed in the middle of the night so I need to be there to redirect them to our new location ... which is about a foot higher off the ground. They need a boost to get up there at 0300 hours.

Monday: The bell finally tolls for me. After a weekend of excessive activity, I am struck down. My spoon deficit has been called in ... I have to pay the piper now. Everything hurts for no good reason. Well, for very good reason, but it's still a crappy thing to have happen. I spend the entire day immobilized in bed with the Mrs staying home to make sure I do not crump-out on her. God bless her, I would have tried to subsist on Doritos and Mt. Dew otherwise. She fed me OJ, Gatoraid and Pasta with chicken. I'm in a much better place today, but being bed-ridden for fear of moving (and enduring nonsensical pain) is quite the frustrating predicament to find oneself in.

Technorati Tags:Bed | Swimming | Karate | Children | Weekend

Labels: Banalities, Children, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Injury, Karate, Tang So Doo, Weekend

Well, it looks like the GrandParent Patrol will not be able to make a fly-by this weekend. Other plans, with each-other, don't ya know. No way I could possibly blame them for that! So, they'll be down the following week when the Karate test is going on ... that should be fun. Pizza afterwards ... I'll bring the wine again. The kids mattress pickup will have to wait a week ... I'm sure it will do. I'm thinking about setting up Jakes bed and letting him sleep on the sofa [ed. not as punishment mind you, he LOVES sleeping on the softer sofa.] till we actually use Gramp's Big Black Truck (tm) to pick up the bedding.

In news closer to this temporal moment, I got to work before 0800 today since I am now in my support rotation. Bleh, hope things go smoothly over the weekend. There has been a shake-up in the 3rd level support group and most of the seasoned handlers were moved into 'research' positions. That leaves us with a whole new crop of green personnel to break in. I'm not in the mood either. I'm still waking up in pain from my back and now a muscle in my side is acting up because of overcompensation. I blundered through swimming, karate and adult karate last night with little issue, but I have to keep it simple so I do not aggravate anything before next weekend. And yes, I still need to mow the damn lawn. And fertilize it ... and put up the molding in the MBR ... and 100 other little tasks that I never seem to get around too. At least the garden looks nice!

Technorati Tags:Lawn | Swimming | Karate | Injury | Plumbing

Labels: Family, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Injury, Karate, Lawn, Swimming, Tang So Doo, Weather