White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Plans of men and mice I tell ya. Today is just packed full of deconstructed plans. I usually do not post on Fridays ... mostly because I'm lazy and I'm gearing up to remedy that for the weekend. This weekend, it will rain and my plans to do some gardening and spread out the mulch will most likely not be in the cards.

Now, for my other little wiggly bit of frustration. I was demonstrating to the Tyrants and Mrs the quality of my Top Shelf Grousing when Attila piped up and asked "What are Boxers?". Perplexed for a moment, I went to the closet and retrieved one of the limited pair I had in stock. I'm a tighty-whitey sort of guy so I typically reserve these for use as shorts. Now, having shown her a physical representation of the inquiry, The Mrs was curious as to where she had heard this term. Typically, we refer to such garments as 'underwear' or 'undies' in these parts. Apparently, one of her class mates conferred this knowledge to her. A young man named Sean, and his co-conspirator, Christian. And why did he bring this information to the table, you may ask. This was part of his mode of operations when SHOWING her his apparel of choice. Given how clothing hangs on the gangly frame of a 5yr old, the boxers went southward towards his ankles along with his pants when he dropped trou'. When his brother-in-arms(legs?) saw this, he also demonstrated that he too could participate in the peep-show. So, Attila made a mental note of the 'back of their privates' and informed the Teacher of their exhibitionist ways. Of course, she (Attila) is rather precocious and found that this demonstrations was neither shocking nor some sort of epiphany regarding the physiology of boys. My first thought was something along these lines. It's a little early for me to have to worry about this kind of interference in my parenting plans, don't you think?

Oh, and gasoline is now $3.52USD/g around these parts.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Gardening | Parenting | Sex

Labels: Gardening, Gas, Parenting, Sex

Well, yesterday went from morose to a livid nightmare. Later in the afternoon, I was feeling a bit off. The odd stuff that should have tipped me off was the cold/numb fingertips and the peculiar feeling that all was not right within my skin. Fortunately, I made the command decision early on to bad TSD and swimming with the Tyrants. It was 'Book Sale' day at the Day Care/ReEducation Facility so I begged out of the usual activities by giving them an option of receiving a book as a consolation prize. They never pass on the opportunity to expand their personal libraries. So, with that, we headed home and practiced our forms on the mile long driveway for a bit so that they would not be too rusty when we returned on Tuesday night. That is, provided that my growing migraine subsides by then. I had to work with Jake a bit to get him to stop twisting his ankle when he does a inside-outside block in fighting stance. I told him to close his eyes, move into position and fix his foot without looking at it. It is going to be wrong so looking at a foot that you KNOW is in the wrong position is just silly. He closed his eyes, did the Pyon-Cho Don form and on the last 4 positions he closed his eyes and moved his foot to the place it's supposed to be and VOLIA! It was straight as an arrow. On the last move, I asked him to open his eyes and he damn near split his head in half with the smile that rocketed over his cherub face. He just might be able to get it right for the test. Maybe I need to spend a bit more time with them. I'm thinking about letting the swim club membership lapse, there is just too much to do during the summer months and there might be a 1700 class starting at our TSD school ... that would work out nicely actually. We'll have to have a family meeting and go over the pros and cons.

After I was done grilling the Tyrants, I set about to digging about in the 100 meter tall pile of mulch on the mile long drive. Of course, by then, the migraine was in full effect and all sorts of H.P. Lovecraftian netherworld daemons were clawing their way out through my eyes. It was the bad eye so I did not mind as much. It's always the left eye, wouldn't you know. I managed to get one of the islands of greenery in the front pastoral expanse covered before I gave up and wandered back into the manor. Of course, I took a fist-full of various pharmaceuticals to buttress my sanity against the crashing breakers of pain ... but what was needed was the strongest medicine I could find ... sweet, DEEP sleep. The problem with that is should I indulge my desire to avoid the pain, I would certainly pay the price of staring at the ceiling for hours after midnight when I should be sleeping. So be it. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

While languishing in my tomb of anguish, I tried to distract myself with plans for the future. Mostly, parenting. We need to set up a task/reward board for the little ones so they start to understand how to plan and what to expect when it comes to 'consequences'. I'm thinking of stuff like; put out trash, tended to cybernetic hound programming (feed, water, wash - I'll deal with the poo), set table, bus dishes, irrigate the Haupertonian Agricultural Sector, finish Homework before asked, good grades, laundry, earn belt promotion, conquer continent, and other simple tasks. Rewards will be tricky but I'm going with a point system so they could bank up the points to earn bigger rewards. Perhaps 1pt = 15 min of television, 15 min of computer time or (for future activities, Wii Time), a snack, 10pt for a small toy, play time outside is free as is story time and other developmental activities. Of course, much like greater rewards require greater quantities of points, they'll receive greater points for harder tasks. Any suggestions?

Technorati Tags:Parenting | Swimming | Karate | Children | Chores | Fatigue | Migraine

Labels: Chores, Fatigue, Migraine, Parenting, Swimming, Tang So Doo

Real quick now ... busy day. First off, there was nothing extraordinary to report yesterday (read: mundane) except for one of the younger children in TSD had a bit of a bladder control problem. It happens, and for some reason, I'm always the one to spot it first and 'leap into action'. I shovel worse on a daily basis. The hardest part is trying to make sure that the perpetrator is not ridiculed by the class. I have to remind some of them that they were in that situation not too long ago and I'm sure they did not appreciate the scorn of their peers. Helping them develop a little empathy is an eternal Sisyphian task. They can be pugnacious little buggers, but when that light-bulb goes off they tend to become quite introspective.

Now, for the memes. First off, you see my desk-top there, right? NervusRex did not tag me, but I hijacked it anyways. Like my icons? So pretty ... Ahem, yes. And then there is Blinders Off with her 'Real Age' test. I took the test, and it seems to me that it is rather insensitive to the MS question, but I'll take the results any day. Apparently, I've got another 60 years to climb through. Not too shabby I suppose, but it did not seem to ask the 'cancer' question.

Technorati Tags:Meme | Karate | Children | Parenting

Labels: Children, Karate, meme, Parenting

Well, if it really means anything at all, I think the results may be a bit skewed ... but for my own jollification I participated and found that my foul-mouthed ways have subsided. So much for my salty language skills! Much hullabaloo was made about my puritan ways when it came to cursing as I entered university so many years ago. Then over the next 10 nears I became quite obsequious observer of using filthy language to show all who was boss in conversations. Little attention did I pay to the axiom that 'Strong language reveals a weak mind.'. Children can drive that point home quite quickly. Now I've got a little 'Thought Police' troupe in the house. I love it when they tell Grandpa that 'hate' and 'stupid' are bad words we do not use in the Manor. Durned Auslander ... bringing his filthy mouth about! The xenophobia is palpable!

Technorati Tags:Parenting | Cursing | Children

Labels: Children, Cursing, Parenting

I have a few things to whine about from the past few days. Some that I can do nothing about, and some that I have a direct impact on. Of course, I will not deal with them other than complaining mostly due to my superior ability to whine. And speaking of whining ... last night at the pool, we were treated to the constant screaming of a toddler being water-boarded. Well, not really. There was the swim instructor, a single child, and the father constantly pushing the horrified boy into the pool to induce him to try to learn to swim. I'm not sure, but I think that the child was not ready to be put in that situation. I'm almost certain that the father was told that he would have to get involved with the child's upbringing and give mom a break. Not so good though. 45 minutes straight - wailing at volume setting 11. Egads.

Speaking of wet, the traffic has been rather disappointing due to the slick conditions. Rain is the culprit here, not snow or ice. There is enough salt laid down that if we did get anything resembling winter weather, we should not have a problem. So much salt. So expensive. None the less, there have been at least two major accidents over as many days on the limited stretch of road I travel. What is with these people!? Nuts with cars I tell ya ... Almond Joy on a roll. I was going to complain that the wood I recently chopped was too wet to burn. Ya know, I should have known better. Now I'm going to have to take all of it out of the brackets and put it outside. And then replace it with the seasoned wood. Gha ... I can be such a noob sometimes. Oh, and on a tagent, the word of the year as determined by Merriam-Webster is "w00t" .... sigh. Thusly, another step in the decline of western culture.

Work has been a real bear over the last few days. First thing when I got in on Tuesday, I was associated with an issue that I had not clue about ... because the name of the responsible party who was SUPPOSED to get the email had the same first name. So, due to a typo (Brazil anyone? Buttle ... Tuttle), I was appointed as the owner. Then, around noon, I return to my sensory deprivation/isolation chamber to find an ominous sticky pad note. I call the number and POW! I get tagged with an Internal Affairs type task. Select 100 (really!) different bugs found in the system, find out who is responsible, why it happened and how to avoid it in the future. Nothing says 'I hate you' to a developer like picking at the open sore of poorly tested or written code. This is going to make me a pariah in the group fairly quickly if I do not handle this delicately. A lot of the upper management are focusing on the effort as well (Hammer for review, reason for small bonus). Do I need to tell you that I did not sleep well last night? Oh, and my back still hurts.

Technorati Tags:Work | Swimming | Wood | Children | Back Pain | Parenting | Sleep

Labels: Back Pain, Banalities Work, Children, Parenting, Sleep, Swimming, Wood

Well, that was interesting. Apparently, my daughter had a rough night or a tough day at school yesterday. She did eat all of her lunch, but when she was doing the typical 'goof-off' routine at karate, she was reprimanded and awarded a punishment of 10 push ups. Instead of acknowledging that she was goofing off and just enduring her punishment (she does better push-ups than her brother, it's how I reprimand them), she chose to invoke the 'Hollywood Defense'. She turned on the water-works. Unfortunately, I was there and the other parties involved have learned that (in spite of the effectiveness of this approach on television) this modus operandi is a blatant attempt of Machiavellian manipulation. After the push ups and a good 15 minutes of loud sniveling and sobbing, she aborted the exhibitionist attempt and moved on. Yes, it broke my heart. Yes, I'm a big meanie. Yes, I'm her father first, then her friend. I have no moral or ethical ambivalence about this. Given this, I took the Tyrants home and skipped the adult class.

This was a predetermined course of action since I wanted to help the kids with their board-breaks. I had set aside a stack of board for this. I proceeded to perforate them with a small-bit drill so it would be easier to break. They could not do it without my help though. I had to wrap my hand around theirs and help them with the follow through. Their fully rigid chop is no longer than my palm and first knuckle so my fingers encompassed most of their hand on the palm side. Since my muscles were not tensed, I ended up breaking the boards with my bones ... and that particular bone in both of my hands has been broken and has healed with an inward bend. Lots of extra calcium there. Lots of extra ouch was involved here. Yes, yes, I don my ashen sackcloth and bemoan the unfairness of it all, but I'm only reaping the bitter harvest of my past transgressions here. We plow through 3 boards with each child and every break fractures the board not on the perforation, but on completely different faults. Friggen ouchius maximus. I need to buy Ghengis and Attila some of the plastic break-boards so I can preserve my money-maker hands.

Technorati Tags:Karate | Children | Parenting

Labels: Children, Parenting, Tang So Doo

Sorry so late, but I'm having a material drought. We did the usual stuff yesterday, and I was blessed with another PERSONAL INSTRUCTION EVENING at TSD. It was just me, Master Smith and his son pummeling me into the mat. All that really means is that I get no rest between drills since there is nobody to wait for. Ummm, the Tyrants were given their homework for next week and finished it up before I got back to the manor that evening. I wonder what the beleaguered teachers think of these two. Apparently, they are getting nap time again and are taking full advantage of it. Ahhh, to be 5 again. Heck, just 5 years younger would do!

One moment does spring to mind, now that I think of it. A redoubtable gentleman saw the Tyrants and I ambling out to the POS Saturn and questioned if they attended the karate practice with me. We were all in our uniforms and I responded that yes, they did. We went swimming 5 days a week and follow it up with Karate right after wards. We then got into a 15 minute discussion of how cute the twins were, how diet and exercise are important and the whole obesity crisis in America is just an issue with a society bereft of willpower ... etcetera-etcetera-etcetera. Here come the interesting part; he starts to talk about how his son is overweight and wont do anything about it and how I deal with the kids eating habits. He then tells me his child is at an age where his metabolism is not what it used to be and getting rid of weight is going to be much more difficult. That would be 62 years old. EGADS! I thought the man was no older than 65 ... turns out he is 88 and is as spry as you would hope to be at 50! Word to the audience: Tenacity and perseverance in diet and exercise may not extend your life, but it will certainly make those later years much more enjoyable.

Technorati Tags:Will Power | Swimming | Karate | Children

Labels: Children, Parenting, Plumbing, Swimming, Tang So Doo

Fairly little to nearly nothing has gone down over the last few days. Work, sleep, swimming, TSD. You know, the standard Haupertonian Schedule. We did do some homework with the kids on Monday. Practice the letter 'e' and such. One single thing of Note happened Monday night while I was working with the tyrannical twins of turpitude at TSD. One of the smaller micro-ninja's was doing his usual ADD-OCD Hyper-hyperactive thing when all in a single moment, he bowed his head and started to slowly dissolve into a weepy puddle. I handed off the kick-target to one of the larger Red Belt students and commended with the 'interrogation'. Apparently, after some prompting, I found that he was sad about mom abandoning him. She had dropped him off for practice and taken his sister to a Girl Scouts meeting. He did not need his mother, he just was used to having an audience. I used the boilerplate daddy panacea of picking him up and cradling him to my chest and gently speaking of how he will greet his mom when she returns. That seemed to dry up the rivulets of tears and snot fairly quickly.

Later in the evening, the Mrs and I had a brief discussion about parenting. Things have not been easy for us, but I like to believe that our decisions and the gumption to stick with them have done more good than harm. One of our most difficult and trying paths was the concerns over diet. We are TRYING to limit sugar intake knowing damn well that if Jovial Jake is anything like me as a child, just one gram of the stuff will turn him into a rampaging beast of destruction and misery. We do not deny him totally, he may have one piece of candy for desert after he finishes his dinner. Given this, Jake has refused candy on multiple occasions in favor of other 'healthy' snacks ... did not develop a yen for sweets as I had. This will certainly curtail any roguish behavior in school (which, these days, is an immediate forced prescription of Ritalin). I'm proud of my scion ... they are proving to be quite the set of bookends for a glorious litany of success.

Technorati Tags:Parenting | Karate | Children

Labels: Banalities, Children, Parenting, Tang So Doo

Sorry to leave y'all in a lurch like that. The last few weeks have been a tad interesting. A brief and entirely uninteresting synopsis:








1) TSD:The intrepid wonder twins; Attila and Ghengis, got their Sparring Gear ... much pummeling ensued. Not to be undone by her beating at her brother's hands, Attila proceeds to 'Beat the tar out of him' when doing one-steps with Josh. I was treated to my own tar-release program in the adult class.

2) ENTERTAINMENT; CHILD:Last wet-day at Sesame Place included rides on the 'big boy (and girl)' rides that required a 42' stature. The lack of lines after Labor Day proved absurdly enjoyable and well worth the price of admission.

3) ENTERTAINMENT; ADULT:Between periods of work and migraines, I attended a few social events. Mostly mundane and rather brief. I owe one of my former co-workers about 20$ for beer and munchies due to an inoperable ATM. I'll send it to him in his Christmas Update Letter (Encyclopedia Sized).

4) EMPLOYMENT:Work, as busy and all consuming as it is, consisted of training, managing, monitoring, self testing and the omni-present and highly fungible level 4 support rotation. Never have I prayed so much outside of work as I did on this rotation.

5) HAUPERTONIAN MANOR:At the manor: Tilled the garden under except for the 10,000 pumpkins, bazillion carrots and bushels of green tomatoes. I actually got the Monster Tiller repaired at a local small-engine repair shop. Well worth the $100 repair bill; started on the first pull. Also got to deal with a clogged main-line sewer blockage. Somehow, a t-shirt label had come loose and wedged itself in the pipes about 25 feet down the way. Took a bit of gumption and a few fixes (small hole in 30 year old pipe) to get everything online. Now it drains like a champ. Of course, in the process of re-assembling the utility-tub drain, I cracked myself on the bridge of the nose with a plumbers wrench. My God ... it's full of stars ... and little tweeting birdies. Thought for sure I broke my nose but the blood loss was minimal and little bruising/swelling proved me wrong. Resigned myself to planting mums and bulbs in the garden after recovering from a monster headache the next day. Gee, I wonder why my head hurt.

6) FAMILY; MRS:The expected busy period for the Mrs got nixed when the recreant and ignoble miscreants from a remote location proved that their flippant behavior was not to be tolerated. They are in the midsts of covering up misdeeds and her requests exposed their roguish cozenages. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth will soon commence.

7) FAMILY; CHILDREN: Children are loving Kindergarten. Almost as much as the Mrs and I as we sit down to go over homework assignments, practice writing letters and going over spelling lists. As God as my witness, I shall make sure they write their first epic novel before they get to 1st grade. Or at least, a story that has all 20 words that they need to learn in it.

And there you are. I still live and soldier forth with few symptoms. Granted, most of my impediments are self inflicted. I shall endeavor to update you with the salient matters (read: blatantly mundane and mostly fabricated) as the occur. HUZZAH!


Technorati Tags:Gas | Swimming | Karate | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Bar, Beer, Children, Family, Lawn, Migraine, Parenting, Summer, Swimming, Water, Weekend

It was an eventful weekend. Indeed, I live in 'interesting times'. Way back in the "before times", it was a glorious Friday. Nearly everyone was on vacation, leaving early, or entirely uninterested in causing problems. The Friday before a legislated long weekend has got to be the nearest thing to heaven for office workers. I was allowed to spend time on the nits and motes rather then pouring it into the bottomless hole of endless refactoring. Of course, leave it to me to bumble that opportunity. That evening, I thought it would be wise of me to clean up some of the clothing I had left on the floor before turning in. After a long evening of blog writing and blog reading, I should really tidy up. The Tyrants would be returning the next day and I would have little opportunity to engage in such mundane tasks. Some socks here, a few bits of naughties there ... some shorts just out of my reach .. but I reach anyways ... and tumble. Falling, falling ... failing to catch myself since my hands had already been sent on a mission. I watch as the bed post starts to rush at my head, growing in magnitude as the velocity increases. My God, it's full of stars! No, that's the optical effect of electric discharge when you take blunt-force trauma to the temple as the force wave ripples through the grey matter. Ummm, ouch? No, no cry of pain or anything of that sort. Just a standard "DOH!". A quick check with my hand finds that the skull is marginally intact ... but slippery? Oh crap, I'm gushing blood everywhere. So, I immediately find the LEAST sanitary cloth in the house (kitchen sink cloth) and apply it to the grand canyon. I eventually locate the Mrs in sub-basement level 3F busily vacuuming up Hounds Hair. I notify her that at 2045 I had erred in my ways and we need to find some external medical care ... since I could see white at the bottom of the canyon, I assumed I would need some stitches. True to my evaluation, an hour later my epidermis was being reassembled with 7 little BLUE bits of medical fishing line. It was a short visit, I think, because I was nauseating all the other denizens of the Emergency Waiting Room. I think that asking them if they wanted to see my brains, they were afraid of wasting a good dinner. The funniest part of the evening was the admitting nurse. She was busy asking questions of me while I was inspecting her scrubs ... particularly the blouse ... low cut and all. Um, because it had a lot of tags and buttons you see. One of them had the word 'paper' on it with a big red line crossing it off. This is noteworthy because she was clenching a bit of paper with my name on it. On the back of her hand was scrawled my admitting number. Heh. They had me sign some boilerplate papers (is this a DNR!?) and then gave me a series of shots since it had been nearly 5 weeks since I had been in the ER. It was a gallon jug with a rifle barrel attached to it ... I'm certain of that. We get a TDP (tetanus,diphtheria,pertussis) shot which has the side effect of leaving you feeling as though you have been trampled by a rogue elephant. Damn immune system, getting all uppity.

Come Saturday, the vile poisons in my body have spread to every nook and cranny. All I can manage it to sit in the garden and pick beans. I was under extraordinary commination to cease any activity that may endanger my already damaged noggin. Additionally, I was to keep the newly sewn wound clean and dry for at least 24 hours. So, mucking in the mid-summer sun amongst the dirt and grime would be the perfect course of action, no? In the mid-afternoon, the Tyrants and GrandParents arrive. There are many maudlin entreaties for hugs and kisses. The Haupertonain Clan has been reunited ... time to resume world conquest plan 35-n. Here is the kicker though. We go to the early mass on Sunday ... the 0830 one. We are a bit pooped, but no matter ... we end up going to ANOTHER Seliga event. This time, it's ANOTHER child's birthday and the entertainment is outdoor laser tag. Yep ... there are pics ... take a look at my flicker tag and you'll catch some of em. So, I'm playing army with a bunch of gung-ho 35-45 year old adults and a greater horde of 5-15 year old adolescents. Guess where the injuries are laid? Sure, it was fun. But the cost ... oh, the humanity.

Mon, Tue, Wed? You ask as if you have not had children. It's all about getting ready for Kindergarten, don't you know. It's no big deal for the kids, same room, same kids, etc. It's a MAJOR deal for the parents. Word lists, supplies, lunch menus, BLEH! It certainly adds a lot of appeal to Home Schooling. I'll have to tell you more tomorrow about the Tyrant's reaction to the

Technorati Tags:Laser Tag | Injury | Karate | Children | Kindergarten

Labels: Children, Family, Grandparents, Injury, Kindergarten, Parenting, Weekend

Ok ... I slacked off yesterday. Sue me. Work has been conspicuously oppressive of late. I find a solution, it's rejected by one party. Find another solution, another party finds it in violation of their paradigm. Left hand, meet right hand. Gha. So, today, I'm spending my time with CBT courses so I can regain a feeling of accomplishment this week. Minor as it may be.

Speaking of minors ... without the kids about, things are just not the same. A counterbalance in my life is missing ... and I'm engaging in some particularly egregious behaviors. Staying up late, not getting enough exercise (well, no swimming or child TSD), eating all the wrong stuff(candy,snacks,BAD!). Who needs a parent when you need to care for a child! So, other than just being a general ruffian, I did manage to get a couple of things done right. I got a really good hair cut and I ordered sparring equipment for the Tyrants. Yes, they will start sparring now. I'm going to enjoy them going at each other instead of me. Usually, when they have a problem I ask them to solve it between each other. We have a phrase in the Haupertonian Manor: "If Daddy needs to solve the problem, NOBODY is going to be happy." Fight over a toy? Toy is removed. TV show dispute, turn off tv. You know, I'm not trying to be mean or disingenuous when I ask them to solve their own problems, I just want them to understand that they have it within them to resolve conflicts and take responsibility for themselves when the need arises. Leaving the problem to be resolved to someone else ('Someone should do something about that' or 'The government should do ....') tends to result in the same situation as what I present. Now, if they think they can solve the problem by pummeling each other (or someone else) into submission, I would like them to learn the consequences of that choice ... without a trip to the emergency room (or court of law). The next few months are going to be interesting.

Technorati Tags:Karate | Children | Family | Parenting

Labels: Banalities, Children, Family, Parenting, Sleep, Tang So Doo

It's been a few days since I've sat down in front of the old teletype and rattled off some nonsense. Of course, it's been busier than an ADD bee hive in coffee plantation around the Manor of late. Let's step WAAAAYYYY back to Thursday night and start from there. You see, my support phone duty was in it's last 24 hours so by the nature of things, 100% of the calls should come in in the last 12 hours or so. And such was the case. Worst thing bout these calls is that they went from being a minor inconvenience that could be worked on in the morning to a total system failure because people could not leave well enough alone. After resolving the first of these man-made disasters, I was so tweaked I went up and finished sanding the floor in Jakes room. This leads to another interesting twist. Now that the room is nearing completion, Jake is OVERJOYED and Alexis is upset. She does not want to be alone. Or, more likely, she does not want to be left with nobody to boss about.

Thursday night, Attila ... err, Alexis was rather grumpy. She has had a really nasty case of allergies of late and the energy expended on clearing her throat and getting a decent deep breath has exhausted her by the time I pick her up in the evening. On top of that, the Tyrants are no longer put down for naps in the afternoon. The synergistic effect is crushing. Once I had powered down the Light Fission Plant in the POS Super Saturn, I told her to go right to bed. She pouted and stomped her feet the whole way into her bed ... then about 2 minutes later she was sawing wood like Paul Bunyan had always dreamed he could. So, I let her nap and we skipped Karate while Jake played his little heart out in the Sand Pit and on the Driveway. No lack of sweat matted hair there! Later that night, Alexis wandered back down with her own version of bed-head and dove into her dinner plate with much gusto. The sleep was much needed and adjusted her attitude greatly.

Speaking of attitude ... mine was fairly piss poor by Friday Morning. I had already passed on the support phone of pain but the case I had handled the previous night went from mundane to China Meltdown Critical. The technical staff ... well, they really screwed the pooch earlier in the day. Every time they tried to fix what they had done, it got worse. In the end, I made a recommendation that they get things back in operation before resuming pursuit of the original issue. It turns out, that my suggestion of making sure that the programs were set for execution (made runnable) was the correct path. Saved us a day of nonsense. This, of course, belayed my departure by hours and I did not get to do all the things I wanted to complete that afternoon. That whole 'land war in Asia' thing ... had to let it go. Pissing into the wind got knocked off the list too. I did, however, get a haircut. I strolled on in, sat down in the chair, the barber walked up and with a single twist of his hand, enshrouded me in that barbers bib and went to work. No question, he knew what to do. Quarter inch on the sides, half inch on top; flat-top. It's the little things in life that can turn a day from utter crap to a glowing field of serenity. I'm fortunate that I'm simple minded enough that this is one of my key-stones. Having someone know what kind of haircut I like and doing it correctly. It's a bizarre scene right out of Atlas Shrugged.

On to other grand events; the Mrs ordered the wall paper for Jovial Jakes room. Sketches of trains ... oh, his head will explode for certain. On Saturday, she vaccumed up all the sanding dust and I proceeded to get down on my hands and knees to ... (no, not worship her, that's not noteworthy or unique) ... scrub and clean the floor with mineral spirits. Ghaaa, talk about a contact high. Then I put the 1st coat of polyurethane on ... now there's a quick way to kill a few million brain cells. Or at least, make sure that my efforts to do the wash is scuttled by 'The colors .. the colors...'. I also wrapped up the molding and chair rail work in the garage along with the last of the door jambs that needed to be coated. Getting this work over the last yard has been a real hurdle for me. Of course, having Attila and Genghis pinging me every 5 minutes to see if I was 'done' does nothing to bring the task along. I was so distracted at one moment that I turned about sharply and knocked over the hand-bucket of polyurethane I was working with and splattered about a quart of it all over the floor. Fortunately, it was the garage and I intend on having the floor coated with a Vulcanized rubber coating some day. After spilling a bit from my 5000 gallon reserve, I found that I was actually almost out of the viscus fluid. So, Off to the Local Home Depot Temple. There, I found, the no longer carry the precious gold coating in 5 gallon barrels any longer. And they only had 4 1 gallon cans left, of which one was rather abused. Scrunched and all, I bought them (friggen 32$ a can!) and shuttled them back to the manor through the rampaging mobs of ethyl crazed DYI shoppers rioting over the lack of glossy finish oil based pro polyurethane. Escaped with my hide, I did. I believe that the remainging 4 gallons should be more than adequate to finish the job.

Sunday came early, and with a massive fumes induced headache. I heaved my languid and torpid body from the warm embrace of the bed and lumbered into full automaton mode. I was taking the Twin Tyrants to the 'early' mass for church this Sunday. It's not truly the earliest mass available ... there is one at 0700. We are attending the 0830 services. We usually attend the 1000 Family Mass. There is a very pronounced difference in the attendees. They were all packed into the front pews with very few worshipers arriving after the last bell tolled. The allure of the early mass may stem from the timing. It lasted a meager 45 minutes. Partly because everyone knew the drill and did not bumble about the communion lines ... partly because the parking situation was much more orderly. When we left, we were able to zip right over to the Dunkin Donuts shop and get our 1000 munchkins before you could say 'Go in Peace'. The children were still trying to shake off the morning sleep so were quite mild ... no frenzied combat in the pews this Sunday.

Since we were home before 1000 hours, I finished up the last of the wood-work in the garage and we all headed off for Sesame Place. It's about 20 minutes away and we have season passes ... the next trip is financially 'free'. Jakes floor was still too wet to sand so this was a much more attractive option. It was a rather enjoyable time. The Mrs and I got sun-burnt, the kids got exhausted. Even trade-off. Alexis even got a little moxie and went down some of the more 'aggressive' rides with me. Getting brave, that little one. While scooting about the crowds, the Mrs and I made some observations: The fellow merry-makers fell into 5 categories:

1. Individual adults (mostly) with tattoos/language that belong in a bar or adult book-store ( rogue Tourettes Syndrome? )
2. Adults wearing swimsuits that also fall into category #1 (this one was a primary beef of the mrs, I SAW NOOOTHINK!)
3. Pouring 5 quarts of mao in a 1 gallon jug - some ppl should not wear spandex suits (see above, my eyes melted)
4. Selfish Parents

This last one needs a bit of explanation. The first 3 are annoyances and somewhat of a minor moral deprecation. The final one is not that the parents are selfish in trying to provide the best for their own progeny at the cost of others, but rather, they are not interested in immersing themselves in parenting at the cost of their own children. The Mrs watched to adults argue over who should be changing the diaper of a 2 year old. The father, with a dirty diaper in one hand and a wipe in the other was bickering with the Mother. After a few minutes of this, the child got up and ran off. When the father turned to complete the task, the child was gone. He ran off to the mens room thinking the little one had escaped there, only to emerge from the building empty handed. He then had to prod the Mother to abandon her pressing activities to enter the womans rest facilities to search in what was forbidden territory for him. When the Mrs relayed this tale to me, we could only shake our heads. I do not recall an instance where we dithered about changing soiled clothing. It HAD to be done and finger pointing never got it done faster. I fear that a relationship proceeding so roughly at such an early stage is in dire need of a positive interjection. Going to public places like this makes me feel better about myself, but I weep for society.

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