White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Since it was Girl Scout Daisy brownie night, I was tasked with escorting Ghengis to the superfluous practice for swimming. You got to show up at the practice or you don't get to swim, eh? Anyways, in a giant cinder block bunker full of water, you can pretty much expect that I would find NO wifi, let alone an unencrypted source to hijack. So be it. TSD class, we had the usual rigmarole with a few exceptions: First, Attila had to leave early. Every other Thursday ... its an accepted event now. The unanticipated event was that one of the newer students, a rather young boy, was much too involved with the activities that he was not going to ask to leave the mat so that he could relieve himself. So, what to do, what to do. Well, certainly, just have a BM right there in your tightie-whities and soldier forth! Except he had not counted on the load bearing capacity to be exceeded by quite so much mass. A bit escaped and was swiftly trampled into a wafer thin sheen spanning about a 3 meter radius that encompased the realm of his form footprint. Once the 'crime' had been observed and dutifully reported by the other students (read: everyone shouting "Eeeewwwwww!"), I swiftly whisked him off the floor to the boy's room and we provided him with a plastic bag and a change of uniform. He still carried a persistent odor about, but we impressed upon the other students that we shall not speak of it. Everyone has an off day, a little compassion will work off some bad karma. That little adventure gobbled up 15 minutes of my time, but actually gave me something to blather about. Tomorrow: Pinewood Derby of Dooooom trumps DodgeBall TSD.

Technorati Tags:Poop | Swimming | Karate | Children | Dodge Ball | Scouts

Labels: Children, Dodge Ball, Karate, Poop, Scouts, Swimming

I waited too long for this post, my tardiness is inexcusable. This quick, abrupt and brutal scrabble of a post will do no justice to the chronicles of the Haupertonian Manor's inhabitants. But alas, I cannot allow this lacunae of posting to continue or it may go on for weeks. I can be negligent that way. So, on Friday, we enjoyed the Killer Dodge Ball of Dooom after TSD practice ... except Jake who got a time-out for failing to heed instruction. He got to play the second game, but was promptly nailed within minutes of the game starting. Hard for him, hard for me. I know he enjoys the game so much ... he'll get more opportunities. Then on Saturday, I goof off. Pick up some dog dip, tinker about the Manor, but nothing of consequence other than restocking the wood brackets and doing the week's laundry. I felt a bit empty though. The lack of accomplishment was like a detox session to me. The laundry was a quick hit at the methadone clinic. Not the same, you know. I had a second chance at happiness on Sunday though. We did sunday school and ALL the children arrived and attended. The Tyrants and I went shopping where I happened upon the weekly 'Meat Bonanza' where the butcher slashes prices on the various cuts because their impending expiration date will cause them to mutate into some horrible zombie heard animal. I can see the slices of tenderloin slapping their way down the street now. Limpets of liver writhing about my feet. Vicious without caramelized onions, you know. Shaking off that peculiar visage ... we bought a few bricks of cheese and then some flowers for the Mrs. And, ran into her at the checkout. She was astounded at the damage one hungry pack of Khans can do with a credit card. Nearly $200 dollars in milk, meat and associated products ... donuts. So, we quickly paid the cashier and escaped her momentarily stunned countenance before she could react. Bwa-ha-ha! Chicken tonight!

Later on, I took down the miles of exterior lighting and started removing the ornaments from the decrepit Christmas Tree that had not been watered all week. I hauled it off to the Christmas tree graveyard where all of our trees go to decompose., scratching at the ground and whimpering the whole way. Then, after the long journey back, the Mrs asked me if I had found that last decoration on the tree. Urgh. No, so we back track to the graveyard, inspecting the ground the entire way and appearing to be some sort of cross between human and flamingo. Bent half over, scanning back and forth, searching for a little green tree amongst the grass and leaves. We turn the particularly hostile tree over and over to see if it was still in the branches. No luck. We surrender it to the tides of time and turn to return back to the Portcullis (we expected the Tyrants to have set fire to the living room by now) and out of the corner of my eye, I spot it on the lowest branch of the tree. What fortune! I must have saved 100 orphans from killer monkey-dog attack beasts in a previous life and this was my karmic return. To boost my karma account tally, I spend the afternoon practicing the staff form with the Tyrants and playing kiddy soccer with Joyous Jake in the Cybernetic hounds. He ran his fool head off till he was completely drained of energy, but not of will to continue chasing that damned ball. The rest of the day was spent in the kitchen, cooking up the chicken in a nice provincial herb oven roast recipe in my big cast iron skillet and vac-packing the rest of the meat for its final destination, the Near Zero Deep Freeze. I should name it, the freezer. Little Alaska? Sounds about right.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Chores | Karate | Children | Church | meat

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Meat, Mundane, Slacker, Sunday School, Tang So Doo, Weekend

Well, crap! This is not good:

ATLANTA — A mutated version of a common cold virus has caused 10 deaths in the last 18 months, U.S. health officials said this week.

Adenoviruses usually cause respiratory infections that aren't considered lethal. But a new variant has caused at least 140 illnesses in New York, Oregon, Washington and Texas, according to a report issued Thursday by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

CDC officials don't consider the mutation to be a cause for alarm for most people, and they're not recommending any new precautions for the general public.

"It's an uncommon infection," said Dr. Larry Anderson, a CDC epidemiologist.
< ... >
Some adenoviruses have also been blamed for gastroenteritis and cystitis.

"Normally, it can cause a common cold, intestinal infection and conjunctivitis and then it goes away," said Rahimian. "But this (strain) causes severe respiratory syndrome and 5 percent of people die from this infection. So this is much more agressive. This is something we need to be concerned about and monitor very closely."

There are no good antiviral medications for adenoviruses. Patients usually are treated with aspirin, liquids and bed rest.

Some people who get infected by the new bug probably would not suffer symptoms, and some may just feel a common cold. Sick people should see a doctor if they suffer a high fever or have trouble breathing, Anderson said.

In the CDC report, the earliest case of the mutated virus was found in an infant girl in New York City, who died last year. The child seemed healthy right after birth, but then became dehydrated and lost appetite. She died 12 days after she was born.

Tests found that she been infected with a form of adenovirus, called Ad14, but with some little differences, Su said.

It's not clear how the changes made it more lethal, said Linda Gooding, an Emory University researcher who specializes in adenoviruses.
< ... >
Rahimian said people can protect themselves from the virus in the following ways:
— Regular hand-washing
— Disinfecting. and using antibacterial gels
— Stay away from people who are sick

Ok, not to heckor any of you folks out there ... but be careful if you have a compromised immune system. You KNOW who I am talking to, right?

In other 'not so alarming' news, I'm taking the night off. The Mrs is going to take the kids to Karate/Dodge Ball tonight and I'm going out to a local bar to try and kill off whatever I've contracted with scotch and vodka. Seeing some former coworkers from centuries gone by. And then, the next morning, with a full-blown hang-over, I'll be driving the Khan Clan (Kubla, Attila, Ghengis and the Mrs) to the FOB where we will spend the week feasting on grandma's tasty vittles. I will try to post, but there are NO guarantees.

Technorati Tags:Multiple Sclerosis | Illness | Karate | Children | TSD | Bar | Thanksgiving | Dodge Ball

Labels: Bar, Dodge Ball, Family, Flu Shot, Illness, Karate, Multiple Sclerosis, Tang So Doo, Thanksgiving

Hoookay then. Another weekend under the belt to make me wiser and older ... more of the second than the first of course. For all the plans I made earlier in the week, having the Grand Parent Patrol about helped out a bit. Friday night, of course, ended with Dodge Ball and there was much fun and pummeling to be had. And that was the extent to which things were dealt with on Friday evening. Application of force. Little stuff like plastering & painting the wall patches, cutting and putting polyurethane on wood, nailing up molding, clearing leaves, harvesting the last of the veggies, tilling under the agricultural sector, running telecommunications wire, installing break-out boxes ... none of that got done. Although, when Gramps did have some spare time, we managed to replace one spigot in the rear of the manor that was leaking and the closet space that needed 'dressing up' was completed. Most of our time was spent shopping at the Local Home Depot Temple though ... which had it's own tales. We managed to visit on a day where they were giving away free hot-dogs and 'sliders' (greasy cheese burgers) so that made it worth the trip right there. Nothing like hot dogs with Düsseldorf mustard at the depot. So, the mrs almost has her closet space ready (I still need to cut the shelfs to length) and we have one spigot that may need 'professional' attention. It's right above the electrical circuit breaker box so I'm a wee bit wary of cracking that open right now. Next weekend, I may get that Telcom wire run though. It's cool enough to visit the attic without bursting into a puddle of sweat. In fact, I started up the wood burning stove this weekend. Yes, the crisp chill of winter has finally made itself known ... in the inviolate sanctuary of our Master Suite. Makes it really tough to get up in the morning, don't ya know. So, that made the Daylight savings sleep-a-thon a delight. I managed to get that hour back AND make breakfast before heading off to our church for some Sunday Morning Catechism. Then, the day ground down to a fine powdery residue as Grams cooked up a fine dinner and Gramps confiscated the 'indoor green-house' for growing God-Knows-What at his Agri-Bio-Tech company. Me, I just planted garlic among the seedling hybrid willow trees for next year's harvest.

Final note, I was supposed to get my flu shot this fine Monday morning but due to a change in policy with the subcontractor who does these things, I now need a note from my doctor that it is ok. You see, because I have a neurological disorder, that makes me a high risk factor. Just the ppl you want getting the damn shot. So I called the doc, went to pick up the script, and by the time I managed to wend my way back, the sub-contractor had closed up shop. I had to reschedule for next week. Gha!

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Grandparents | Dodge Ball | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Children, Chores, Church, Dodge Ball, Family, Flu Shot, Gardening, Grandparents, Home Improvements, Multiple Sclerosis, Plumbing, Weather, Winter

Not much ... it's Friday after all. I try to make sure that this final day of forced labor is as quiet as possible with the exception of dodge ball. And yes, there will be swimming too. Speaking of swimming, Mrs Gwen stopped by the pool yesterday. She was concerned that she had not seen us for so long. She is awfully attached to the Tyrants. They seem to have that peculiar ability to attract adoptive grandparents. On that topic, we had another attack of 'How cute and devilish can I be' from the Haupertonian Scion. Jake invaded our bed again last night, but had the good sense to climb in from the foot of the bed instead of over my head. He let me get some sleep and siphoned heat off of the Mrs instead. Vampires have to let their prey (stock?) recuperate between feedings, you know.

And now, for the progeny of the title for this post. I found this at Varifrank and could only think 'about time'. Like flying cars, zap pistols and faster than light space ships ... it is a 'taste' of the future. Yes, bacon salt. Not only does it make food DAMN GOOD, it will protect your from islamist terrorists! I'm going to talk to the Mrs about quitting my job and becoming a QA Specialist in charge of the bacon salt production line. Oh, and they have a blog too! Boy, wouldn't this stuff make and awesome Christmas present. Eh? EH?

Technorati Tags:Work | Swimming | Karate | Children | Bacon Salt

Labels: Bed, Children, Dodge Ball, Meat, Sleep, Spam, Tang So Doo, TGIF

The terminus of the 'free wheeling' weekend has come to me like a lost hive of bees looking for a suitably spent reservoir in which they can deposit the fruits of their labor. I'm drained, replenish me with loads of sticky, syrupy energy plz. Of course, the terminus came but the syrupy energy did not. Instead, I have the beginnings of a head cold thanks to my two little disease carriers. Alexis has been brewing some nasty upper respiratory nastiness for some time now and Jake just picked it up. I'm starting to feel a little nasal congestion so it is only a matter of time. I think Last week's support bizarroland travels may have opened up my wacky immune system to the invasion. Stephen knows what I mean. It was nice to ditch the support phone on Friday, but I do not think I'll be able to throw off the damage it did for some time.

Let's talk about the nice things of last Friday though, eh? Yes, it was the end of my support duty till Christmas ... gha, one could hope that it goes well over that Holiday! I picked up the Tyrants early on Friday so we could do the work-place trick-or-treat thing. They loved it! Hundreds of stops for candy and all of them no more than 6 feet apart. Three buildings, thee floors each, all connected by tunnels. It's a diabetic nightmare. After the pillaging of candy-land, we went off to TSD where I was allowed to participate (NO PHONE!) and by proxy, the Tyrants had to behave or I would snap them back into line. The following day, were were planning to go to Sesame Place ... for more Trick-or-Treat activities. Mercifully, this did not happen because of the downpour of rain. We need the rain, but I need to rake leaves and mow the lawn and do all kinds of out-door stuff. So, the Mrs and I slumbered away till noon ... except when I had to get up and prepare the kids breakfast ... and let the dogs out ... and feed them. Oh, then there was that pesky lunch thing. Wait ... did the Mrs let the Cybernetic Mammoths out? Both the long term and short term memory sticky-goo was powered down to the bare minimum. I'm probably lucky I did not end up wandering the streets in my underwear, a hat and my boots.

Sunday fared a bit better. Sunday School at 1000 hours, then off to the Produce Junction to pick up inexpensive veggies for my lunch during the week. After that, Home Depot to buy a sheet of dry-wall. And yes, I actually used the stuff to patch the two holes in the wall behind the Master Bath Shower/Decon chamber. Left a bit of a mess behind, but a quick swipe with the vacuum will clear that up. Finishing that, I mowed the lawn (and thusly, cleaned up the leaves) without the power assist on the mower. I need to pick up that belt but forgot to when I was at the local Home Depot Temple. I can get so single minded at times. In the act of mowing the front pastoral expanse, one of the lids on the sprinkler system got sucked up and chopped to bits leaving a giant hole in the ground. I'll need to put something over that soon or some children will get swallowed up on the 31st. The last thing I need is for a bunch of well meaning rescue personnel to start digging up the yard only to find the previously hidden skeletons of Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis's first clone and some left-over bits of Ark. Speaking of arks ... the Mrs was so kind as to pick up the dog-dip and wash the hounds while I busied myself with other nonsense. Little stuff, like fixing the 'O' in Jacob's name on the Twin Towers , a mountain-range of laundry and spreading out the clippings in the garden. Standard fun-stuff. As a capper on Sunday, I carved out two of the 20,000 pumpkins for the Twins after they drew what they wanted them to look like. Next year, I'll insist that they carve out the guts themselves. They were less than enticed by that prospect this year. The Ever Ready Mrs took a pic of the two gored gourds, but had not posted them yet. Trust me when I tell you that the Tyrants were sufficiently pleased. And, on queue, since the jack-o-lanterns were ready, we got frost this chilly Monday morning. Perhaps I did finally mow the lawn for the last time this year. Perhaps.

Technorati Tags:Pumpkins | Weekend | Karate | Children | Home Repairs | Lawn | Rain | Fall

Labels: Children, Dodge Ball, Fall, Halloween, Home Improvements, Rain, Tang So Doo