White Lightning Axiom: Redux

So here I am at the Log College Middle School swimming pool, waiting for the kids swim practice to begin. Toasty as all get out! It would be nice I suppose if I were not sitting here in a sopping wet do-bock (Korean spelling mangled). So, it's the perfect time to sit down with the laptop, find ZERO wi-fi signal (not even an encrypted one, and just pound out a rough doc.

It's been some time since I've had a chance to fill ya'll in on the going's on around the Haupertonian Manor. There has been illnesses and broken digits. The illness has been distributed among the clan with equality and the snapped tendons, digits and such have been reserved for my enjoyment. My pinky toe looks like a bloated purple grub at the moment. That should be a wonderful when I go through my black-belt pre-test in a couple weeks. Oh yessss .... I'll be gimping it up in prime form! The Tyrants will be going for their second stripe on their red belts so they are only 6 months behind me at this point. Tough little buggers, they are. The force is strong with these ones! Their midi-chlorian count is off the charts!! (Geeky Star Wars Ref here)

Let's see ... a synopsis of all the other mish-mash that makes my blessed life so durned interesting ... Christmas was off the charts ... we had everyone down at the manor this year and the 100 foot tall tree looked FANTASTIC. The piano/keyboard lessons are going well and they are really shaping up to be a couple of Mozarts. I tried to keep up with their lesson plans, but my wretched fingers are too well trained to be at home on the computer keyboard. Alas, no late life shift for me to take up a lounge act with the Tyrants and the Mrs as a sultry swooner. Hmmm ... massive layoffs at work that somehow spared me but left me with an excessively truncated list of available victims for the support phone duty. Not good for me, but I'll still get paid. No bonuses, no raises, not 401k matching ... but I never had that before so I'm not too sore about loosing those perks. Like I said, I'm not picking up shell casings in a war-zone to sell back to some dubious buyer so I really am in a pretty good place.

Oh, and for Christmas, Hero Dad and Super Mom bought the Mrs and I a new kitchenette set and a new Refrigerator. The table and chairs are really nice and sit very high so I don't wreck my back leaning over the Tyrant's homework. The fridge is VERY quiet and having the freezer on the bottom is so nice. I could never find anything because it was stored at a level that would require me to have eyeballs in my knee-caps. Now, I can pretty much locate that frozen pleisaur roast that I made last week with no difficulty. I moved the old fridge to the garage where it now serves as a back-up for milk, eggs, broccoli and beer. Happy-happy!

Oh, and how about those gas prices! Jeeze, what a roller coaster ride.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Swimming | Karate | Children | Piano | Christmas

Labels: Beer, Blogging, Children, Christmas, Grandparents, Health, Support Phone, Swimming, Tang So Doo, Winter

Hey, wow ... look at me posting and postulating on a Sunday night! Yes, yes, after my many transgressions I should at least pretend to try and comport myself with dignity and restraint. PPttthhhht! After Friday night, that illusion has dissipated into a fine mist. Friday night, I stopped off at the Bent Elbow around 1615 hours and spent nearly the next two hours drinking a lot of scotch (about 10 or so snifters) and a few plates of deep fried 'happy hour'. That was my undoing. Damned crispy lard chunks ... soo tasty but oh so nasty for the arteries! I met my party, ranted a bit (she is a Democrat, I'm a bit to her right) and was assaulted by the Dos Equis XX girls till about 2100 hours. Got a hat out of the deal ... but mixing the pure pleasure of a single malt scotch with the poison of South-of-the-Border polluted water is not really a smart move on my part. Yeah, an early evening for me. And a late morning as well.

We spent most of the precious Saturday packing up the Family Tank v 2.0 with a month's worth of supplies for the week. Then, we proceeded to trail blaze our way from noon till 1600 hours to get to the FOB. Along the way we saw the landscape go from a gloomy grey and brown muck to the wintry wonderland of lake effect snow. Standard Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving image. Pine trees, snow, Grandparents, turkey ... and a roaring fire in the fireplace. And let me ask you this ... how do you go about getting a fire going? Well, with wood ... and that means chopping down trees! Oh yeah, Gramps and I hauled out the ropes, chain-saw, axes and medical kits so we could go about taking down a few dead-stands. Oddly enough, we did not need the ice buckets to keep dismembered appendages till they could be reattached ... or the tourniquets. Nope, not a single cut, bruise or scratch. Go figure. We managed to spend most of Sunday afternoon hauling chunks of wood about with all the vim and vigor a couple of mid-century boys could muster. Tomorrow, we will work on stringing up the Christmas lights. Mmmm, more ladders, heights and slippery precipices!

Technorati Tags:Beer | Grandparents | Weekend | Snow | Trees | Lumberjack

Labels: Beer, Grandparents, Snow, Trees, Weekend

Got this from Deb-Deb ... she taught me a lot about drinking ...
98%ALCOHOLIC

Technorati Tags:Bar | Alcohol | Meme

Labels: Bar, Beer, Blogging, meme

Sorry to leave y'all in a lurch like that. The last few weeks have been a tad interesting. A brief and entirely uninteresting synopsis:








1) TSD:The intrepid wonder twins; Attila and Ghengis, got their Sparring Gear ... much pummeling ensued. Not to be undone by her beating at her brother's hands, Attila proceeds to 'Beat the tar out of him' when doing one-steps with Josh. I was treated to my own tar-release program in the adult class.

2) ENTERTAINMENT; CHILD:Last wet-day at Sesame Place included rides on the 'big boy (and girl)' rides that required a 42' stature. The lack of lines after Labor Day proved absurdly enjoyable and well worth the price of admission.

3) ENTERTAINMENT; ADULT:Between periods of work and migraines, I attended a few social events. Mostly mundane and rather brief. I owe one of my former co-workers about 20$ for beer and munchies due to an inoperable ATM. I'll send it to him in his Christmas Update Letter (Encyclopedia Sized).

4) EMPLOYMENT:Work, as busy and all consuming as it is, consisted of training, managing, monitoring, self testing and the omni-present and highly fungible level 4 support rotation. Never have I prayed so much outside of work as I did on this rotation.

5) HAUPERTONIAN MANOR:At the manor: Tilled the garden under except for the 10,000 pumpkins, bazillion carrots and bushels of green tomatoes. I actually got the Monster Tiller repaired at a local small-engine repair shop. Well worth the $100 repair bill; started on the first pull. Also got to deal with a clogged main-line sewer blockage. Somehow, a t-shirt label had come loose and wedged itself in the pipes about 25 feet down the way. Took a bit of gumption and a few fixes (small hole in 30 year old pipe) to get everything online. Now it drains like a champ. Of course, in the process of re-assembling the utility-tub drain, I cracked myself on the bridge of the nose with a plumbers wrench. My God ... it's full of stars ... and little tweeting birdies. Thought for sure I broke my nose but the blood loss was minimal and little bruising/swelling proved me wrong. Resigned myself to planting mums and bulbs in the garden after recovering from a monster headache the next day. Gee, I wonder why my head hurt.

6) FAMILY; MRS:The expected busy period for the Mrs got nixed when the recreant and ignoble miscreants from a remote location proved that their flippant behavior was not to be tolerated. They are in the midsts of covering up misdeeds and her requests exposed their roguish cozenages. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth will soon commence.

7) FAMILY; CHILDREN: Children are loving Kindergarten. Almost as much as the Mrs and I as we sit down to go over homework assignments, practice writing letters and going over spelling lists. As God as my witness, I shall make sure they write their first epic novel before they get to 1st grade. Or at least, a story that has all 20 words that they need to learn in it.

And there you are. I still live and soldier forth with few symptoms. Granted, most of my impediments are self inflicted. I shall endeavor to update you with the salient matters (read: blatantly mundane and mostly fabricated) as the occur. HUZZAH!


Technorati Tags:Gas | Swimming | Karate | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Bar, Beer, Children, Family, Lawn, Migraine, Parenting, Summer, Swimming, Water, Weekend

Busy weekend ... well, not really. In actuality, a lot of nothing was done. Oddly, it was more exhausting than if I had actually done something productive. Saturday was primarily spent by me waffling about in bed somewhere between a lucid state and the bizarre dreamland I love to inhabit. The Grandparents were down so the Tyrants had little interest in me. Rustle up some bacon/eggs/toast for a family breakfast. Do a bit of laundry ... bumble about the manor and then go down into the chilled cellar to fill up a cooler with beer (IPA, Victory Lager, Victory V12, Chimay, Mikes Hard Lemonade ) for a party with the Butler/Seliga Clan at 1600 hours. It was SWELTERING hot the whole time. As sure as the sun rises in the east, the pool was somewhere near freezing though. So, the Tyrants were in and out of the pool like flying fish while the adults tried to sooth their beleaguered, senses by sloshing alcohol down their gullets in a feeble attempt to either numb the screaming senses or add a natural cooling agent to the system. Not a bad night all in all though. The party was for one of the extended family who is a Philly police officer and he had his partner and a few of his work friends there. He has made it his (jokingly) intention to make sure he has the opportunity to arrest everyone in his family at some point. Great guy though. Just got a dog, a Doberman. Named him 'Thor'. Go figure.

Sunday, ugh. Too much beer. Just a bit sluggish getting up so we went to the 1000 mass instead of the 0830. Since we were on the later side of the morning, we went out to the Warminister Diner for breakfast. By far, one of the best diners we have visited. They staff did not have the effrontery to deign our order too big to serve all at once so there was very little room on the table top. It was a rather good meal but we had some problems with the Tyrants and their eating habits. Alexis, once she got her waffles, did not want them. Jake was fidgety and had problems consuming his bacon and flap-jacks. They were still a bit tired from the previous night and were a bit gummed up (given that they primarily consumed chips, dip and cheese). Their digestive system is used to more ... 'healthy' food. Jake frequently requests chicken or pasta instead of junk food. Well, that is, when he is NOT insisting we buy a brick-oven pizzeria to sate his appetite for pizza at every meal. Later that day, the Grandparents packed up their belongings and we strapped the Tyrants into the back of their troop transport. You see, they were going to 'host' the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude for a week. Genghis and Attila treated this with great gravitas and spent most of the day inquiring if everything was ready to go. They had great interest in escaping the Manor for a quieter, gentler time at the FOB. I cannot imagine their spirits being any higher once they were trundled up and slowly cruised off into the horizon. Then ... silence.

We missed the children greatly. Sure, there was no early morning battle to get everything ready and no harrowing rush at the end of the day to start the extra-curricular activities. We got up a bit later and still made it to work (Well, I did. The Lovely Mrs took some time off from work.) early. Plugged through the day and took a 15 minute trip to get back to the manor. We went off to deal with some financial fallout from the Annual Budget Considerations and then enjoyed a wonderful early 11th anniversary dinner at Savona. It was distinguished by the lack of our little heartbeats making sure we were aware of their blessed presence. Sure, I talk glowingly of them when I'm hundreds of miles away ...

Technorati Tags:Anniversary | Weekend | Family | Party | Summer

Labels: Beer, Children, Family, Grandparents, Sleep, Summer, Weather, Weekend

Well, so far today has been quite ... trying. I got up this morning, in a rush. Got things to do and places to go, don't ya know. So, I rush through the morning prep and start to load up the POS SuperSaturn with the usual supplies only to find out that the front passenger tire is FLAT. ARGH! Not again, and on a day where I need to be everywhere on the eastern seaboard. I need to go out to Exton to set up and IRA for my old 401k at noon. I have plans DAMMIT. Plans that cannot be adjusted. Given the crap that is going on with the stock market, it is imperative that I get this taken care of tut suite! So, I lump it and go to the local gas station to refill the tire in the hopes that this is a sloooow leak and I'll be able to deal with it at a later time ... like tomorrow. Well, tomorrow waits for no man and I learn this as I return to the vehicle. When leaving the administration building of reeducation camp complex, I heard and hissing noise. You know the sound. It's the one you hear at 0200 on a backwood road in Afghanistan among the Taliban infested thickets. Then I saw it, plain as day. A screw head the size of a hub-cap firmly stuck in the tread of the tire. It would not hold out on a 30 mile trip in the afternoon. I would certainly find myself trapped in a flaming wreck of twisted steel if I attempted to make the trip. So, I stopped off at Uber Mechanic Chris garage and plopped down 10$ and my tire. He said if it were more than just the usual bullet hole that he would give me a call. I'll have the Mrs grab tire on the way to picking up the Tyrants tonight since I have an after-work engagement with some coworkers for a send off at a local establishment called Iron Hill Brewery.

I mentioned that I need to convert my old 401k to an IRA, no? And I need to get my but out the the agency that set up the 401k. It's out in Exton ... somewhere near California. Fine ... but when I gazed at the market quotes this morning, I was stunned. My mortgage company was having 'issues' ISSUES!? Look, I have issues with people who don't screw the cap back on catchup bottles correctly. This is a FRIGGEN NIGHTMARE! Not only is this my mortgage company (who I owe a whole heap of dinar to), but this sub-prime market nonsense is really putting the screws to the value of my retirement account. How the hell am I going to retain value if I buy HIGH and sell low!? Fortunately, I can keep the funds I am in with the IRA, but still. ACK! I know, I know ... don't panic. I'm just a bit consternated about this whole thing. The Mrs and I are always a bit perplexed about people who think that living on a revolving line of credit and having to declare bankruptcy when they have a Lexus SUV and a BMW parked in the driveway of their McMansion when the borrowing against their 401k has left them destitute ... well ... you know where I'm going with this. I'm driving a 10 year old car not because I like to. Call me Scrooge. I'm paying for the financial sins of others.

After my IRA inquisition, I have a 1500 meeting at Comcast regarding an announcement about the back-office software release recognition ... or some other 'feel-good' propaganda nonsense. I'm a good corporate stooge so I'll be there with a big toothy grin on and a well greased hand for shaking. Never mind that it's actually SNOT (see previous post) and not elbow grease. Then there is the 1700 drunk-fest. THAT will prove to be a bit more productive provided I can keep my imbibing spirit in check. Given my current health, I'll try to keep my liquid libations to Shirly Temples and Roy Rogers.

Technorati Tags:Car | Illness | Mortgage | 401k | Beer

Labels: 401k, Banalities, Beer, Illness, Mortgage, Turnpike

Quick weekend update (including Friday). Of course, we have to talk about Friday. It's the day I sat and glared at the support phone with all the intensity I could muster. And my transcendental glaring power caused all signals to be blocked, so no calls. With that success, I continued to glare all weekend long and thusly, no calls. It also seems to stop elephant stampedes since there were none of those either. Ahhh, it's good to be a great universal power ... even if the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude can stomp me into dust at will. As a small demonstration of their power, the Friday Karate Dodge Ball of Death Match went well. Genghis Jake still gets disappointed when he gets nailed by a ball, but he will soon learn to accept that as a fact of life. No, I do not intend on giving him a 'participation award' for everything he tries. Character is developed, no awarded.

Saturday was a busy day indeed. I managed to get most of the molding in the master bed room put up and only have the chair rail left and some minor patching to do. A little mop-up and installing the new anti-emf blinds are next and then we can move in. I tried to assemble the full sized bed frames from the bits and pieces we purchased about 4 years ago ... with little success. The support beams are supposed to hook into the head and foot of the bed which were the sides of the cribs ... but the hooks are inset about a quarter of an inch too deep so the hooks will not catch! We will either need to cut off 1/4 of an inch of the wood or get new beams. What a nuisance! Returning specialty order items 4 years after delivery will certainly not fly. After that, I needed a success story so I went out to mow the lawn and pick some cucumbers. I thought that I could be absurdly efficient at that, but the humidity laid waste to my plans. Sure, it got done, but I could not prance about and declare my super-daddy powers after that. Too damn hot, too damn humid. The bean picking had to go undone. Not that we have any sort of bean shortage. [Ed. If you ask the Mrs, she'll tell you that one bean is too many in her books ... the Green-House Methane Gas production is a sticking point when it comes to the beans.]

Then ... there was one day left. The day of rest. Yessss ... that elusive 'rest' concept ... it evades me. But not this time! No, I went to church with the Tyrants who clung to me like a brood newborn opossums to their mother. So, no assaults on the fellow parishioners this time. The compulsory donut run afterwards went as planned and they were happy as could be. Later on, after the Mrs returned from her shopping expedition, we drove out to the Victory Brew Pub to meet some of my fellow co-workers from my previous employer and the CEO/President and his Wife/Director of Development. Also was treated to the experience of meeting some 'new' children (deployed and undeployed) that had come onto the scene. FLAWLESS EXPERIENCE! Drinking beer, eating Pizza and going on a brewery tour. No work at all got done. Of course, after a V12 and an Golden Monkey I was pretty much shot. Man, 2 beers and I'm tossed out like a common lush. Must be getting old or something.

Technorati Tags:Gas | Beer | Karate | Children | Plumbing

Labels: Banalities, Beer, Support Phone, Weekend