White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Unspecified Damages

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Unspecified Damages

Well, that was interesting. Apparently, my daughter had a rough night or a tough day at school yesterday. She did eat all of her lunch, but when she was doing the typical 'goof-off' routine at karate, she was reprimanded and awarded a punishment of 10 push ups. Instead of acknowledging that she was goofing off and just enduring her punishment (she does better push-ups than her brother, it's how I reprimand them), she chose to invoke the 'Hollywood Defense'. She turned on the water-works. Unfortunately, I was there and the other parties involved have learned that (in spite of the effectiveness of this approach on television) this modus operandi is a blatant attempt of Machiavellian manipulation. After the push ups and a good 15 minutes of loud sniveling and sobbing, she aborted the exhibitionist attempt and moved on. Yes, it broke my heart. Yes, I'm a big meanie. Yes, I'm her father first, then her friend. I have no moral or ethical ambivalence about this. Given this, I took the Tyrants home and skipped the adult class.

This was a predetermined course of action since I wanted to help the kids with their board-breaks. I had set aside a stack of board for this. I proceeded to perforate them with a small-bit drill so it would be easier to break. They could not do it without my help though. I had to wrap my hand around theirs and help them with the follow through. Their fully rigid chop is no longer than my palm and first knuckle so my fingers encompassed most of their hand on the palm side. Since my muscles were not tensed, I ended up breaking the boards with my bones ... and that particular bone in both of my hands has been broken and has healed with an inward bend. Lots of extra calcium there. Lots of extra ouch was involved here. Yes, yes, I don my ashen sackcloth and bemoan the unfairness of it all, but I'm only reaping the bitter harvest of my past transgressions here. We plow through 3 boards with each child and every break fractures the board not on the perforation, but on completely different faults. Friggen ouchius maximus. I need to buy Ghengis and Attila some of the plastic break-boards so I can preserve my money-maker hands.

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