Thursday, June 28, 2007
Meme Filler #1
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Swimming with predators
BRYN ATHYN, Pa. For the second time in a week an alligator has been captured in Pennypack Creek. Officials are concerned more reptiles could be lurking in the waters.Good grief. Now that I've taught the twins to swim, they cannot go near the water for fear of being eaten! I'll have to bring them to Gators which used to be in the Mall of America to show them that it tastes just like chicken.
Animal control officers are warning parents to keep children away from the creek after discovery of the dangerous animal on Sunday.
Animal Control officers said the two and a half foot long gator is slightly smaller than the five foot long one captured in the same area on June 21.
Officials said the gators most likely fed on fish, frogs and snakes while in the creeks muddy waters. Because the cold-blooded creatures are able to submerge easily, authorities said they could be a threat to small animals and children.
"If threatened they'll certainly do damage to pets or small children which is definitely the public safety concern," Claycomb said.
Animal control officers are advising parents to keep their children away from Pennypack Creek as they check the region for more of the sharp toothed creatures.
Technorati Tags: Swimming | Minnesota | Children | Reptiles
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Linda tagged me for this Meme ... she shall wail and gnash her teeth.
INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:
1) Meaning of Loaf/Cherry Ride (I got tagged twice-I feel SO popular!!!)
2) I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw
3) Behind Blue Eyes
5) White Lightning Axiom: Redux
Select five people to tag:
3) MS Not Just A Diary
4) Some Nameless Chick
5) Sancho Knotwise
Q:What were you doing 10 years ago?
Wondering when the Honeymoon was going to end and trying to fill a fairly large and empty Manor.
Q: What were you doing 1 year ago?
Spinning, upside down, in a minivan, with my family watching my life flash before my eyes as glass, gasoline and metal showered down around me.
Q: Five snacks you enjoy:
3) Some minerals
4) Pencil Erasers - chewy & gritty, like sandy clams!
Q: Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1) "Manamana" by Muppets/Sesame Street Puppets
2) "Little Bunny Fu-fu" by various artists
3) The wheels on the bus go round and round.
4) Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar
5) Ring of fire (heh ...) Johnny Cash
Q: Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1) Begin a campaign to impeach BrainCheese
2) Engage in 1$ bill paper cut mortal combat with George Soros
3) Use interest to top off my ONE BILLION DOLLARS
4) Corner the polyurethane market
5) Only eat beef jerky, spam and ramen noodles ... so I can be called 'eccentric' instead of just plain 'weird'.
Q: Five bad habits:
5) Wrath, Gluttony, Sloth, ... Aw heck, just say 'TV'
Q: Five things you like doing:
1) Splitting Wood
2) Civilization III - Warlords Edition
3) Tooting ... in elevators, and blaming my wife.
4) Propping up the broccoli and peas in my mashed potatoes and pretending I'm Godzilla eating a forest.
5) Using the EZPass lanes on toll-roads and gloating about it.
Q: Five things you would never wear again:
1) More than 7 thing attached to my belt.
2) Boxers ... agoraphobia?
3) The shackles of fascist Oppression
4) Conductive materials
5) Velvet pants
Q: Five favorite toys:
1) Fireworks ... I still have enough fingers left.
2) Compound circular miter saw ... see above.
3) Electricity ... again, see above
4) Lawn mower ... trending?
5) The Mrs' credit cards, how do you thing I get all these toys?
Technorati Tags:Meme | Blogging
Colorless solid hydrocarbon mixture: CnH2n+2
I called the water company, Aqua PSW, yesterday. I asked for them to send a 'technician' out to put my seasonal meter back in so I can start up the summer sprinkler system that I so meticulously installed. After going through voice mail hell TWICE, I finally get a rep who tries to sort out my account. She hems and haws about various inconsistencies about my account and makes a comment about a meter shutoff request made in 1985 ... yeah. I was living in another State at that time and most assuredly did not make that request. So, she confesses that she is not sure how to proceed and needs to ask her manager (I'm expecting another hang-up at this time). She actually comes back online and says that she will be able to do this, but there is a 50$ meter transaction fee. WHAT!? Yes, 50$ to install or remove a meter. So, here are my choices: I can pay 100$ a year to have my seasonal meter removed/installed or pay 20$ a month for a minimum usage fee. Dammit, what kind of nonsense is this. They want to venerate myself before their billing department for the privilege to pay more for nothing? Gha! Every one wants a slice of my pie, and they have no problem laying out mendaciously specious tales to get it. I've threatened to have a well drilled for the singular purpose of feeding my sprinkler system due to their horrific billing practices and inability to keep accurate records. Now, I'm on the precipice of doing so. Double argh.
Technorati Tags:Home Improvements | Water | Fumes | Polyurethane | Plumbing
Monday, June 25, 2007
Weekend in the Rear View Mirror
Thursday night, Attila ... err, Alexis was rather grumpy. She has had a really nasty case of allergies of late and the energy expended on clearing her throat and getting a decent deep breath has exhausted her by the time I pick her up in the evening. On top of that, the Tyrants are no longer put down for naps in the afternoon. The synergistic effect is crushing. Once I had powered down the Light Fission Plant in the POS Super Saturn, I told her to go right to bed. She pouted and stomped her feet the whole way into her bed ... then about 2 minutes later she was sawing wood like Paul Bunyan had always dreamed he could. So, I let her nap and we skipped Karate while Jake played his little heart out in the Sand Pit and on the Driveway. No lack of sweat matted hair there! Later that night, Alexis wandered back down with her own version of bed-head and dove into her dinner plate with much gusto. The sleep was much needed and adjusted her attitude greatly.
Speaking of attitude ... mine was fairly piss poor by Friday Morning. I had already passed on the support phone of pain but the case I had handled the previous night went from mundane to China Meltdown Critical. The technical staff ... well, they really screwed the pooch earlier in the day. Every time they tried to fix what they had done, it got worse. In the end, I made a recommendation that they get things back in operation before resuming pursuit of the original issue. It turns out, that my suggestion of making sure that the programs were set for execution (made runnable) was the correct path. Saved us a day of nonsense. This, of course, belayed my departure by hours and I did not get to do all the things I wanted to complete that afternoon. That whole 'land war in Asia' thing ... had to let it go. Pissing into the wind got knocked off the list too. I did, however, get a haircut. I strolled on in, sat down in the chair, the barber walked up and with a single twist of his hand, enshrouded me in that barbers bib and went to work. No question, he knew what to do. Quarter inch on the sides, half inch on top; flat-top. It's the little things in life that can turn a day from utter crap to a glowing field of serenity. I'm fortunate that I'm simple minded enough that this is one of my key-stones. Having someone know what kind of haircut I like and doing it correctly. It's a bizarre scene right out of Atlas Shrugged.
On to other grand events; the Mrs ordered the wall paper for Jovial Jakes room. Sketches of trains ... oh, his head will explode for certain. On Saturday, she vaccumed up all the sanding dust and I proceeded to get down on my hands and knees to ... (no, not worship her, that's not noteworthy or unique) ... scrub and clean the floor with mineral spirits. Ghaaa, talk about a contact high. Then I put the 1st coat of polyurethane on ... now there's a quick way to kill a few million brain cells. Or at least, make sure that my efforts to do the wash is scuttled by 'The colors .. the colors...'. I also wrapped up the molding and chair rail work in the garage along with the last of the door jambs that needed to be coated. Getting this work over the last yard has been a real hurdle for me. Of course, having Attila and Genghis pinging me every 5 minutes to see if I was 'done' does nothing to bring the task along. I was so distracted at one moment that I turned about sharply and knocked over the hand-bucket of polyurethane I was working with and splattered about a quart of it all over the floor. Fortunately, it was the garage and I intend on having the floor coated with a Vulcanized rubber coating some day. After spilling a bit from my 5000 gallon reserve, I found that I was actually almost out of the viscus fluid. So, Off to the Local Home Depot Temple. There, I found, the no longer carry the precious gold coating in 5 gallon barrels any longer. And they only had 4 1 gallon cans left, of which one was rather abused. Scrunched and all, I bought them (friggen 32$ a can!) and shuttled them back to the manor through the rampaging mobs of ethyl crazed DYI shoppers rioting over the lack of glossy finish oil based pro polyurethane. Escaped with my hide, I did. I believe that the remainging 4 gallons should be more than adequate to finish the job.
Sunday came early, and with a massive fumes induced headache. I heaved my languid and torpid body from the warm embrace of the bed and lumbered into full automaton mode. I was taking the Twin Tyrants to the 'early' mass for church this Sunday. It's not truly the earliest mass available ... there is one at 0700. We are attending the 0830 services. We usually attend the 1000 Family Mass. There is a very pronounced difference in the attendees. They were all packed into the front pews with very few worshipers arriving after the last bell tolled. The allure of the early mass may stem from the timing. It lasted a meager 45 minutes. Partly because everyone knew the drill and did not bumble about the communion lines ... partly because the parking situation was much more orderly. When we left, we were able to zip right over to the Dunkin Donuts shop and get our 1000 munchkins before you could say 'Go in Peace'. The children were still trying to shake off the morning sleep so were quite mild ... no frenzied combat in the pews this Sunday.
Since we were home before 1000 hours, I finished up the last of the wood-work in the garage and we all headed off for Sesame Place. It's about 20 minutes away and we have season passes ... the next trip is financially 'free'. Jakes floor was still too wet to sand so this was a much more attractive option. It was a rather enjoyable time. The Mrs and I got sun-burnt, the kids got exhausted. Even trade-off. Alexis even got a little moxie and went down some of the more 'aggressive' rides with me. Getting brave, that little one. While scooting about the crowds, the Mrs and I made some observations: The fellow merry-makers fell into 5 categories:
- Individual adults (mostly) with tattoos/language that belong in a bar or adult book-store ( rogue Tourettes Syndrome? )
- Adults wearing swimsuits that also fall into category #1 (this one was a primary beef of the mrs, I SAW NOOOTHINK!)
- Pouring 5 quarts of mao in a 1 gallon jug - some ppl should not wear spandex suits (see above, my eyes melted)
- Selfish Parents
Technorati Tags:Polyurethane | Swimming | Karate | Children | Parenting
Thursday, June 21, 2007
More of the same, less of the different.
Outside of this, all I can really say is that every day is just another day of sweet, sweet life with the family and very little worries. Oh, and I found an independent gas station nearby that has a posted price of $2.85/gal USD. Charmed life indeed.
Technorati Tags:Gas | Karate | Plumbing
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Two other things:
- Need to finish Jakes room and the poly work
- Get on the roundup
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday ... is good, next ... Tuesday
Speaking of kindergarten ... the Tyrants have a field trip to Build-A-Bear today. I weep for the bulkward teachers and paladin chaperons ... much carnage will lay in the wake of Attila and Genghis. Teddy-bear stuffing EVERYWHERE. I already paid the $9000 billion for the expenses ... let's just hope that they do not try to charge me for the FEMA costs as well.
Alexis has been coughing up a storm of late. At first, we believed it to be a standard summer cold. With all the cruft and crud they haul back to manor every night, it was a rational expectation. When the usual cough suppressants and expectorants failed to lighten her load, the Mrs made a visit to the local pediatrician and we got the diagnosis we have been trying to ignore: Allergies. We had a lot of rain last week and the humidity laden environment has provided an excellent bed for fungus, mildew, non-photosynthesizing growths and other assorted eukaryotic single-celled or multinucleate organisms. This is something that was expected. The gene pool has benefited from the filtering of mostly icky flotsam between the Mrs and Myself ... but a few bits made it through. Let's just hope the MS/Cancer thing was eliminated. So, after the first tablespoon of Claritan (OTC), she has been doing significantly better. The rejoinder to the question of 'Should we medicate our children?'; yes. In this case. We will probably discontinue later in early summer when she has her first visit to an Allergist and we determine what is giving her such a rough time. Silly histamines.
Finally, the local township failed to pick up the dead hulk of the hot water heater that failed over Memorial Day weekend. So, we bought the sticker, put it to the curb at the designated time ... and nothing. There it sits. So I call, and as expected, they are closed. You see, they are open from 0830 till 1630. Yeah, all the hours we tax-payers are at work. So, I call this morning to complain and ask what they are planning to do. Oh, you see, the truck broke down so they had to leave some things behind. Huh? If the truck broke down, how is it that you knew to leave behind the heavy things exactly where they sat (she admitted that they did not pick up 3 things) but everything else got taken away. I'm not in the mood for confrontation so I just ask for advice on further action. I'm instructed to just leave it at the curb and call back before 1600 if it is not picked up. Ummm, yeah. I work so I'll not be sitting on the curb monitoring the status of my trash. I ask if it is ok to call the next day and I'm greeted with silence. After some hemming and hawwing, it is explained that I will not be home at that time since I WORK a full day. Egads. It must be systematic that once you enter into the office of civil service, you must abandon any concept of the real world. Almost like academia!
Technorati Tags:Work | Karate | Children | Allergies | Township Governance
Monday, June 18, 2007
dull boy walking
Speaking of toxic lifestyles and products, I've gotten a few emails from friends and family about Jovial Jake's collection of Thomas the Tank Engine toys. Apparently, putting arsenic in tooth paste and substituting paint for baby formula was not good enough for the Chinese export fraud ... they now go the extra mile to find paint with lead in it for children's toys. Trying to find paint WITH lead in it is like trying to proselytize the joys of Jihad to the Buddhists. Futile here in the States and other industrialized nations. Indeed, we are getting our just deserts. Ok, ok ... off the soap-box. We went through the 1000 or so items that Jake has and found about 5 or 6 items that were on the list. Fortunately, they were recent acquisitions and were barely out of the box so no 'chewing' had occurred. He's over that behavior, but sometimes things are too tempting. Going to have to introduce him to chewing gum, but the Ever Patient Mrs knows that he will end up doing the same thing I do .... swallow it. Yeah, I know, 'ick'. It HAPPENS!
Speaking of parental oversite, the GrandParentalUnits came down from the FOB on a resupply mission. You see, they were running low on hugs-n-kisses from the grand-kids. The Tyrannical Twins immediately began clamber all over them the minute the Big Black Truck came to a stop and the cab portals opened. Fortunately for me, This meant that I would get an extra few sets of hands to help wear down the twins over Father's Day weekend. Gramps went to town and sanded nearly all the 1000sq foot floor that will be Jakes room and helped me set up the polyurethane containment work-room for the chair-rail and molding in the garage. With all that out of the way, we got to kick back and sit in the shade for a bit while the Twins engaged in mortal combat to see who got to sit closest to Gramps. Ok, have I ever mentioned that my Dad is my biggest Hero? No? Are you sure, I'll have to have the team do some research on that. You know that Gramps is the Shiznaz when you wake up at 0915 on Sunday to find that the Tyrants are happily eating breakfast and are already dressed for church. 0915 already!? But, but, the Tyrants usually start pounding on my head at 0515 on Sunday morning! So yes, Grams is a Hero figure that is a suitable role model for my children AND can get them to sit still while he tries desperately to give a disquisition on opening gambits in chess involving Knights, Pawns AND Bishops with the Queen as an anchor. Kinda like family life, where the queen is both revered and feared for she is the gateway to the King. King Dad.
This week, I'm on the Russian Roulette pager duty of 'on call' 4th level support. I could get no calls, I could get 3 a day. Sun spot activity could cause massive network failures and the switch-board will light up and klaxon alarm will sound out proclaiming that the beleaguered public is no longer able to view Girls Gone Wild : Blondes at their leisure. Yeah, that happened once before. Priorities folks ... not predilections for strolling Piccadilly. In any event, if I actually post ANYTHING, it will be due to the whims of fate. As an upbeat ending, I'll give you this: I was demonstrating the first staff form in TSD for my parents and for giggles, I gave Jake a walking stick (about 3 foot tall) so he could 'play' along. He did his best and darned good job of mimicking my every move. Some of the more complicated maneuvers were short-circuited, but he was about as happy as a puppy with two peters. Damn sharp of him.
UPDATE: I read this over at Sand in the Gears and it really should be a required read for all fathers:
I lay awake for a time after the house was completely dark and silent, thinking thank you over and over in my mind, whispering it to God. And he must say I know when we think him for our children, because he is a father too. It is good to be a father. More fathers should try it. If I can get this right, I keep telling myself, the rest of it doesn't matter. Be a good husband. Be a good father. The rest of it fades away almost as soon as we are cold in the ground. Help me get this right. That's what I whisper to God in between the thank yous.
Technorati Tags:Family | Karate | Children | Fathers Day
Thursday, June 14, 2007
One burbon, one scotsshhh ... one ... (thud)
Nothing going on today. Really dull. Finally. To make a short story long, I spent some time last night practicing my staff form at TSD. Damn near took my own head off though. Some of the prep and release maneuvers are not something to take as trivial. I'll be cracking my knees on the 'figure 8' turns for certain. No manner of contravention by practice will save my bruised and swollen joints from my inability to differentiate my left hand from my right. Ghaa, I've been a clumsy, oafish clod for years and MS has NOTHING to do with it. Damned ambidextrous genetic markers. The one good result of this is the ability to drink with both fists. Sooo, I'll be exercising this capability tonight at a corporate group outing to a local pub for happy hour. The Mrs will escort the kids to Karate and I'll be warming a bar stool while entertaining the patrons with tall tales of my Intergalactic Feats and Local Acts of Wonder. Heh, I'll have a few nibblets of amusement to share tomorrow.
Technorati Tags:Bar | Karate | Staff Forms
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Horsie takes castle ...
We had quite a rain storm yesterday afternoon. If the rain came down any harder, it would have left dents in the roadways from the kinetic energy dissipation. Spot flooding was inevitable, Noah was dusting off his tools. Indeed, this only happened because I left my car windows open a crack so the interior would not be molten. Somehow, the rain radically changed direction to a horizontal vector as it neared my POS Saturn and the drivers seat was completely saturated within minutes. Nothing like driving with a 'moist' seat. When I did manage to pound through traffic and get to the Day Care/ReEducation Camp, I found a woman and her two small children woefully gazing out the front door ... probably watching to see when her car would float away. She was wearing Hospital Scrubs and I knew that the only material more transparent when wet would be one of those Hollywood sheer gowns that the 'Beautiful People' like to flaunt their bodies about in. Not something you want your children to observe though. So, the gracious being that I am, I offered to escort her and her children to their car. It worked out well except she got a bit wet on the back of her blouse. The kids were dry ... mostly. I had to grab her daughter's hand and lift her over Lake Superior when we got to the parked car. There was about 2 inches of standing water in the lot at the time. My boots are still wet. Smelly too. No matter, I did my best to reverse the karmic slide I've been on lately. Maybe I'll get to sleep in this weekend ... fat chance.
Finally, I found this somewhere ... but lost the source. The wise words of Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
Technorati Tags:Rain | Chess | Swimming | Children | Family
I would like to introduce you to Merelyme who has been doing a SPLENDID job of making her rounds and introducing herself to us. Recently diagnosed, she is familiar with the long and arduous journey to gain that dreaded pronouncement of illness. Her freshness of words and views should make for an entertaining and thought provoking discourse.
Jaws, off the coast of Florida, has also come into focus. Big, nasty teeth! Also, his blue motif matches the Rebif box label he is now saddled with. Big, nasty needles! Of course, his 'Suck it up' attitude reminds me of some others here. And as somebody once said, 'Lean into it'. Yep, that pretty sums up Daddy Jaws. Lately, he has been more interested in the sucking of Dyson Vaccumes and not the suckage of MS. Good man, good husband, good daddy. Damn, still cannot figure out who he reminds me of.
Brooke has MS. She will be taking Tysabri. That's from February 26. I'm not sure if she is going to post again, but if we all gang up and give her 'hello' comments, perhaps she will.
Here in the Philly area, Gina at Angst on a Shoestring just got a new symptom. We know it as the 'MS Hug', but she has aptly named it The Girdle. I never knew she was around till I picked her up in another comment thread. Ain't the internet something else? Along the same lines, I happened across an outgrowth of Joolys Joint called Diary of Ms X. A collaboration of 4 different authors just to keep things moving. Hey, if you can have a post titled "Peeing in the wind", you are my kind of blogger!
Of course there is Liz over in GB/Wales recording her every thought on Finding Life Hard. I believe she was previously posting at another location, but has opened up shop here. That or my failing grey matter is making me delusional. Either way, she has a pretty keen eye for the banalities and bromides of life. Yesss, I like that in a blogger. Nothing too shocking or scary. Nice, easy .... zzzzzz.
Finally, but not least of all, there is 'Jammy'. She posts at Jenn's Journey with MS and of all things, is a Mom of six children. I feel like a wuss now. And after reading her posts, I cannot imagine having that many spoons at my disposal. She just plain kicks major MS heinie! Read through some of what she has to say and see what I'm trying to say in a much more erudite and visceral representation.
So, have you hugged your MS warrior today?
Crossposted from Charles's site as a service to mankind!
Technorati Tags:Multiple Sclerosis | Heros
Monday, June 11, 2007
Everyone is disappointed sometimes
It's kindergarten. Yes, only 10 meters away from the other room that the Tyrannical Twins where in, but it might as well have been another planet with an alien culture that ate molten rocks for nutrients. The first day was the worst. The minute we walked in, the children who had been promoted previously and their fellow graduated immediately rushed us shrieking the names of the twins. I thought for sure that we would shortly become beset by a tribe of Comanche Warriors or Bedouin Fighters. Today, we were wary and set up a defensive perimeter before trying to breach the portal to the dark side of Kindergarten. It was a bit smoother, but I still felt the chill of doom about me as we entered. Next week, it's 'summer camp', with is essentially showing up at the same place but they go on field trips every day. To the ice cream shop, or the local pub. Fridays is water-play day though. They even have planned trips to the Lego and Crayola factories. I'm going to see if they are interested in going to Cabela's or Graterford Penitentiary too. You know, just for balance.
Technorati Tags:Kindergarten | Swimming | Weather | Children | Traffic
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Kill the rabbit ...
Speaking of explosives ... I took Jake to the movie theater this weekend. 1015 Matine at the Franklin Mills mall. There were 2 other ppl in the theater so no collateral damage to the citizenry was accumulated once Jake realized the the 'penguin movie' Surfs Up was not all that he expected it to be. About 2/3rds of the way thorough the movie, the popcorn and twizzlers ran out and we found that his attention span reserves were depleted as well. With some rather creative manipulation, we managed to hold out till the credits and exited the smoldering remains of the structure. At the same time, Antsy Alexis and the ever Patient Mrs were attending a ballet/play representation of Cinderella. She (Alexis) barely moved and was titillated by the concept of 'intermission'. Indeed, she was not even put off by the epicene nature of men frolicking about the stage in tights. You see, she is used to more Manly-Man types with axes and chain saws. I'm certain that will be her dating criterion later in life. Chop, split and stack that pile of logs and then we'll talk about a night out gigging frogs. Heh, we sound like a bunch of hill-billies! NASCAR, chopping wood, crops ... if it were not for the Manhattan Cosmopolitan influence of the Mrs, we would probably communicate with a series of grunts and community grooming exercises. After the entertainment, we took a drive out to the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant where a former coworker (and fellow multi-ethnic family) was having a birthday party for his children. Magician included. Much happiness for the kids since there was a suitably large playground. They loved sliding down the cooling towers. It was absurdly hot and I started to feel a bit scruummy after a while. Pretty much a continuation of Friday's bletch/heat stroke type wave of nausea. After a while (1600 hours), we had to convince the Tumultuous Twins that it was time to depart since it was an hour drive back to the manor. Of course, they both fell asleep about 5 minutes into the trip.
Sunday. Yeah, I had to mow the pastoral expanse and the back 50 or the grounds would be completely unmanageable. We would be swallowed up by Gnarlwood Forest. Fortunately for me, it only got to 120F in the shade. That was complicated by me FUMING over the state (or maSTICATE) of garden. Maybe I should go out and see if I can pick up a fully automatic 12 gauge repeating shotgun. Good for rabbits AND heavily armed intruders.
Children | Theater | Gardening
TSD (karate) was a different matter all together. Everything was fine in the children's class. I've taken a few turns with leading the calisthenics part. I seem to be a natural fit for that task. I do a lot of barking and drill sergeant type harassing so that the usual offenders don't have enough moxie to start acting up. Got a question for me? Five push-ups for the privilege, 10 if it is a BS question. Complaining about somebody else not working hard enough? 10 pushups for both of ya. Need to go potty? Kleenex? Drink of water ... Yep, give me 10 and the answer is NO. Everyone tends to fall in line and get it over with ASAP. I missed my calling, I tell ya. Either a Marine Boot Camp Drill Instructor or a Kindergarten Teacher. That's all fine and well. The messy stuff happened during an adult class sparring session. I've been feeling pretty cocky of late and I figured I'd go ahead and try one of those legendary Chinese Flying anti-gravity leap-kicks. You know, the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ligament Failure types. So, I fly through the air and start my dumb-ass fantasy maneuver and realize that what goes up, usually comes down at 9.8 meters/second/second. Hmmm, Force equals mass times acceleration and I've got a whole mess-o-mass to work with. Needless to say, I did not get through the pounds to kilogram conversion before I found myself laying on the floor simpering like a school-girl who got jelly on her Sunday Dress. Well, that was the end of my sparring for the evening. Even worse, I had to go back and fess up to the Mrs that I screwed the pooch again. Fortunately, I was wearing my I-Beam reinforced knee brace at the time so the injury was rather mild. That, or I'm getting used to being dismembered.
In the more mundane and amusing categories, I managed to enjoy a few quiet moments with the Mrs on the front porch the other night. Over the Memorial day weekend, I purchased a wood/iron wrought bench that took about 25 minutes to assemble. The weather was mild enough and the insects were still recovering from the rainstorms so all we had to worry about was the strength of the wireless hub signal for our laptop systems. Well, her system. I was busy finishing up my 2nd glass of Australian Shiraz for the night (aptly named Jacobs Creek). Earlier in the evening I had polished off 2 Flying Fish IPAs as well. Yeah, I was flying too. So much so that I even got a bit nervous when the police cruiser rolled by for the nightly patrol. Don't need any charges of public drunkenness or lewd behavior tacked on to my name. I still have a pretty good reputation around here. That, or they patrol the neighborhood to see if I'm out in the yard digging holes again after sunset. Whatever could I be doing? Looking for sprinkler system leaks? Planting bulbs? Hiding 55 gallon drums filled with survival gear, weapons and C4? Bodies? (insert evil laugh here).
Finally, the most amusing detail of the last few days. Monday is pasta and meat-ball day for the Tyrants' lunch. They were treated to 2 large meatballs and 2 large cheese and spinach ravioli. You mix cheese, pasta and spinach ... well, you do not notice the spinach so much if you are a youngster. So, when the Tyrants insisted that I relinquish the information regarding their devoured lunches, I acquiesced and revealed the secret ingredient. Jake retorted: "I love spinach!". Popeye never had it so good. Wait till I slip a leaf or two into their salads; I'll be dealing with the request for anchor tatoos on their forearms.
Technorati Tags:Spinach | Family | Karate | Children | Wine | Spinach
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
It's been quite some time since I've had any time to make a pass at a roundup. The forces of the universe tend to act against me in ways that are completely undefinable. Whao ... serious déjà vu! But I swear, this type of thing NEVER gets in the way of my hobbies. Heh, I should go back and see how many weekends I complain about how it was too hot or too rainy to mow the lawn. A nice ven diagram of my topics and the bleed between posts would probably be rather pedantic. Weather, gardening, lawn-mowing. I suppose substituting leaf-raking or snow-blowing for lawn-mowing as weather dictates would be ok. The incipient kvetching will continue until further notice.
Speaking of snow, I understand that Linda is having a bit of a heat-wave over at Brain-Cheese. She does mention that her previous life in the warmer climes had given her the steel temper to match that of the demons from the lowest planes of hades, but her new Blue State environs do not usually let the local thermostat vary much between the 45-75 zone. The fact that we here in the swamplands of the Haupertonian Heatsink had 45 in the morning and 85 in the afternoon would have driven much of her fellow Emerald City Edenites swoon. Go over and offer her a glass of mint julip.
Zoom down south a thousand miles or so and you'll notice a slight warming trend. Not that Miss Hot-Hot-Hot Stuff Chris would notice. What? 120 degrees in the shade? The sun wearing Bermuda shorts and whisking sweat from it's brow? Burr, get me a jacket! And just because it's not quite toasty enough for her, she takes a vacation to temperate Las Vegas!? Now granted, most of that town is covered with a gigantic Tupperware lid and air conditioned to preserve the clients in a semi-cryogenic state (just mobile enough to pull those levers and play keno), but JEEZE!? I hear if you stand still on the streets of Vegas, if you wait long enough you will sink into the asphalt and become one with the town. Nova Scotia anyone?
A bit closer to EST, YodaMomma is also in a cooler world, but must contend with the insectoid invasion that comes along with a more temperate clime. I too encountered a tick this past weekend with was quickly pointed out by one of the Tyrants and disposed of in a rather brutal and final manner. Lyme disease; no thank you - I've already got a heaping plate of hurtin'. And I certainly hope that her 'tater bugs stay put up there in the hinterlands. My own taters are doing just fine and have not been exposed to those fiends. Sure, the weather is nice up there, but man, the resident fauna is not to be envied!
Scan a bit more to the East and you find yourself in the back-yard of the FOB (Forward Operation Base: Ithaca, NY). Pat at the MS Companion is struggling under the icy glare of the Glassy corporate eye. Not so much the chill of a bitter NE spring morning, but the even greater freezing effect of a stone-cold corporate entity squeezing a few more drops of blood out of a dessicated turnip. Funny about the printing.paper-media industry, they are all for the little-man so long as the little guy is not working for them. Pat, I'm sorry for your situation there ... some times living on the cusp of a change in the social dynamic just is not fair. Bop on over and give her a morale boost, we all could use one every so often.
So, how is the weather in your neck of the woods?
Crossposted from Charles's site as a service to mankind!
Technorati Tags:Multiple Sclerosis | Heros
Monday, June 04, 2007
Sunday was more of the same, but a bit less in quantity. Since I swam a mile while mowing the lawn on the previous day, I was not disturbed by the intermittent downpours which punctuated the day like small arms fire on the western front. Church went well and once we arrived back at the manor with a small box Dunkin Donuts, we ran into Gus on his way out to give an estimate for a kitchen job. We talked for a bit and the kids goofed with high-fives till he had to get going. We then put the Mastodons back into the kennel before banging on Gus's back door to pay a visit to his Gracious Mrs; Irene. She is apparently a linguist of sorts and can speak Greek (of course), French, Latin and was learning some Korean. No simple house-wife! We spoke of Cyprus and the Greek Islands while the kids rambled through her well kept home. Soon enough, the Mrs called wondering why there was nobody home but all the doors were unlocked ... and the hounds running wild throughout the manor first floor. So, she came over and we all had a good sit till Alexis became impatient. Not a bad way to burn a Sunday Morning. The rest of the day was spent on laundry, minor perfunctory manor dalliances and shredding all junk mail. I spread this in the garden to keep the weeds down. Did I mention that the tomatoes are forming? I've got about 5 now that are roughly 10cm in diameter. Lettuce is ready for munching and some of the broccoli is good to go as well. In spite of the little green caterpillars (picked them off by hand, little buggers), it looks like the cabbage will be set in a few weeks as well. Time to call in the migrant farm-hands to start the harvest!
Technorati Tags:Weekend | Gardening | Picnic | Children
Friday, June 01, 2007
Gossamer ribbon demarking the finish line
Life of the mundane middle class, in painful scrutinyHeh, true to my roots, eh? Maybe I'll kvetch about the garden next week.
Technorati Tags:Lawn | Summer | Karate