White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Hoooo-Doggie! What a day it was yesterday for anyone trying to get from point A to sub-station 011-937B. We had some fairly good thunderheads roll through the area. That let a cascade of rain and electric discharge fall to the ground like a sign of the end of times. Of course, with lightning there is the inevitable closure of the indoor pool. Not that I weep over the missed opportunity of freezing my gluts off in the near zero kelvin contents of the pool. With rain comes the 'instant asshole' aspect of driving about this region. While slugging my way to the day-care/re-education facility, I heard over the radio about 3 overturned trucks and an explosion on the NJ Tpk. I felt a bit of Schadenfreude when I heard, but quickly got my come-uppance. Right at the intersection of Sawmill and Dresher. At 1605, a blue pickup transporting 2 hillbillies made a right on red (in spite of what the sign said about that) just as a blue civic was passing (at about 30mph) a line of cars piled up in the left lane of intersecting traffic. BLAM! The pickup (heavy construction vehicle type) was thrust up onto the berm next to the road and bits of the civic rained down on the wet, steamy pavement. It was obvious that the compact vehicle would not be going anywhere since it absorbed the kinetic energy with a direct impact to the grill by the I-Beam that the truck was sporting. The hood buckled such that it's apex was higher than the roof of the copula. The burly man in the pickup, took a final drag from his cigarette and flung it brusquely to the ground to elaborate the words that were spilling out between his snarled lips. Within SECONDS, a police cruiser and an EMT vehicle pulled up. It was rather surreal that they were within the proximity of the accident at the moment it occurred. Now, this all sounds like a facinating road-show for me, but the arrival of the cruiser resulted in some unanticipated side effects. The intersection is equipped with a sensor that detects the flashes of an on-coming emergency vehicle and overrides the normal program for the signal lights. Yes, it stayed red for 15 minutes till the police realized that the traffic delay was not because of rubber-necker, but rather, because his override signal was still on. Needless to say, I was only 1 car from the light and when I was released from my unintentional imprisonment in Hatboro Gitmo, I could see the horrific results. It was backed up for a mile already and this would only get worse when the local school let out in a few minutes and rush hour would begin in earnest. I could predict much fulmination and gesticulation would be commencing soon. Much of it not from my participation in the local road rage full contact sports league.

It's kindergarten. Yes, only 10 meters away from the other room that the Tyrannical Twins where in, but it might as well have been another planet with an alien culture that ate molten rocks for nutrients. The first day was the worst. The minute we walked in, the children who had been promoted previously and their fellow graduated immediately rushed us shrieking the names of the twins. I thought for sure that we would shortly become beset by a tribe of Comanche Warriors or Bedouin Fighters. Today, we were wary and set up a defensive perimeter before trying to breach the portal to the dark side of Kindergarten. It was a bit smoother, but I still felt the chill of doom about me as we entered. Next week, it's 'summer camp', with is essentially showing up at the same place but they go on field trips every day. To the ice cream shop, or the local pub. Fridays is water-play day though. They even have planned trips to the Lego and Crayola factories. I'm going to see if they are interested in going to Cabela's or Graterford Penitentiary too. You know, just for balance.

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Labels: Banalities, Children, Traffic, Weather