White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Ack! Ptttht!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Ack! Ptttht!

It has taken me more than a bit of effort to get this out. I've not been sleeping all to well of late and that is really putting a crimp in my usual loquacious writing persona. Indeed, my mercurial writing has slowed to a clumpy mass of semi-viscous sludge ... much like how I feel. So as for my absence from commenting on all your blogs, I'm so sorry. I'll get around to it. The plague has laid me low. The up side to all this is that I did not register much discomfort during the TSD test last Saturday. The Tyrants did well, for the most part. Attila had her usual 'stage fright/prima-donna melt down' act for 15 minutes before the test started. Ghengis was as excited as a little boy could possibly get. In the end, they both earned their promotion to Green Belt and spent the next three days bragging about it. It came to a point where I had to expound on the idea that no matter how good you are, there is someone out there better than you who will kick your lilly-white ass up around your ears. Alexis chimed in that that it seemed to her the arse-woopin' job belonged to Daddy. Not this weekend. After getting fully overrun by the nasty bug the Tyrants had infected me, the events really started to drag me down. It was all made better by greasy, cheesy pizza after the test. Ghaa ... talk about heart-burn. I spent the rest of Saturday napping, doing laundry and fixing the airflow fans on the wood-burning stove. Yes, we have yet to turn on the heat and rely primarily on the stove. So what if I have to use an ice auger to drill a hole in the ice formed over the toilet bowl! Since we spent a whopping $100USD on utilities last month, we would hope to continue that revenue retention behavior instead of using a shovel to throw our income into the fire as we gesticulate madly at the Oil Speculators.

Sunday: Yep, day of hypocritical rest. Took the Tyrants to Sunday-school ... got trapped in the bass-ackwards parking lot till nearly every single car but the 4 blocking me in had left. Then, after gnawing on their tires, we sped back to the Manor where I proceeded to pull down the tomato cages and strip off the greenies that were not frozen in the last hard frost. Oddly enough, the carrots all seem to be doing quite nicely still. Resilient buggers. Then, while the Mrs ran off to resupply our larder, I got down to the business of fixing the lawnmower drive belt, putting slices in the karate wood so the Tyrants can break them easier and then fixing the splitting maul that had a muffed-up handle. Trying to split rounds of wood with the handle instead of the head tends to do that. So, I have the handle cut loose, but I need to clear out the eye. Can't just drill it out since there are metal chits in it. So, with a ball-peen hammer, I go to town trying to force the remainder of the handle out. Everything was going quite well until I mistook my fleshy hand for the tempered steel of an axe. It did not give off that signature ring of steel on steel, but rather, the squishy/crunchy sound of bone and sinew being ground together by unforgiving force. The sharp pain soon gave way to an unabated ache ... but no apparent damage. It was the bone between the wrist and first knuckle of the thumb that took on the laws of physics ... and lost. So, I did what any rational man would do ... jump up and down while bleating out profanities and cradling the throbbing appendage to my crotch. You know, because that always helps. The cursing part, that is. And then, I took a nap ... only to wake up hours later when the pain and swelling in my hand were too much to let me remain sleeping. A few ibuprofen and some quality time with the family, all was right with the world. It's now two days later. Managed to get my flu shot on Monday morning, but said nothing of my illness since I know it is not the flu. Just another upper respiratory nuisance. Let me tell ya, my hand still hurts more than the shot, but I'm certain it is not a fracture, just a bone bruise. Next time, I'll just throw the damn axe head in the fireplace and burn it out.

Oh, and gasoline here in Pennsyltucky is nearing 3$/us gallon. And the newly elected politicians are talking about adding a NEW road use tax so they can fix the bridges that they let go to rot when they appropriated the funds allocated to that to ... build more roads and bridges. Dumb-asses.

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