White Lightning Axiom: Redux: March 2007

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


back on track

Hmmm, looks like I'm not quite dead yet. Sorry for disappearing like that. My work life expanded to absorb all my surplus time, don't you know. Over the last few weeks, I've finally gotten over that nasty set of infections and viral invasions ... just in time for Patients 0a and 0j to cook up a new set and pass them on to me. Yep, I'm sick again. It really cuts into my ability to get things done on the weekend when the schnoz is all buggered up like that. I really am starting to believe that I'll never be well again. BLETCH! At least I'll have some guilt leverage over my kids when they get older. "Dad, can I use the car? No, it has no gasoline since I've spent all the money on OTC cold remedies, you ungrateful little tyrant!" Oh well. Let's see ... what else is going on. I've scrubbed the bathroom floors between bouts of illness. The Mrs and I finally washed the stench of winter off the Cybernetic Hounds. Guess who got more wet? They instinctively know the most inopportune moment to shake off the soap and water. And then there is the weather. The last couple of weekends have presented us with all manner of precipitation, thusly preventing me from tilling the Agricultural Sector. The receding glacial field has revealed enough dog-dip to keep an army of dung beetles happy for an eon; That has kept me busy for the last few days. I've let the kids play in the Twin-Tower Sand Pit instead of going to the pool so I could attend to the crop of turds spread out as far as the eye could see. Good times. Karate is going well, the Twin Tyrants of Temerity are starting to understand the importance of the calisthenics and, with some gentle prodding (I hold their legs in the air), they are getting the idea of what a push-up is supposed to look like. Their Jumping Jacks are looking good too ... can you believe that some schools have banned them!? WTF! Finally, I think I'm going to have that Tankless Water Heater installed in April. The Mrs is complaining about the heat of the water and I cannot fault her. There are some additional plumbing need that can be addressed at the same time so it could be an all day affair. We'll have to schedule it when I'm not on Support Phone duty. So, there you are. How have YOU been doing?

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007


start here

If you have seen the docudrama 'An Inconvenient Truth' by AlGore, I would recommend that you watch this set of videos (8 parts) of a BBC (of all people!) program that is a counterpoint to the argument.

If you are intrigued, visit the rest:Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5 Part6 Part7 Part8

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Again, up to my eyeballs at work with the support detail. One thing I must post though, is my greatest fear. This morning, I woke up sweating and screaming at 0515. I had a dream that exercised my greatest fear. In my dream, myself and the Family Haupertonain were escaping from Turkey to India via a tunnel. Once we got to the other side of the border, Jovial Jake had to use what passed for a toilet there. He was squirming as I held him on the edge of the bowl. Suddenly, a rush of water passed through the toilet and he was sucked in and whisked away, head first. I had lost him with no chance of recovery. At that time, I woke. After a few moments, I went to his room, scooped him up and brought him into the bed where he slept between the Mrs and I till 0615. I'm still shaking and quite nauseous.

UPDATE: Coincidences like this freak me out:

Irena and the ten who went with her into the ghetto, used many, many methods to smuggle children out. There were five main means of escape: 1- using an ambulance a child could be taken out hidden under the stretcher. 2 - escape through the courthouse. 3 - a child could be taken out using the sewer pipes or other secret underground passages. 4- A trolley could carry out children hiding in a sack, in a trunk, a suitcase or something similar. 5 - if a child could pretend to be sick or was acutally very ill, it could be legally removed using the ambulance.

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Friday, March 09, 2007


lowing in the fields

Yet again, nothing. I survived work. TSD class went well. The Tyrants ate their dinner in record time and darted off to play with Gung-Gung. Hell, this last 24 hours has been so mundane, I don't even need an image to convey any visceral undertones.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007


White Noise

Nada. Yep, another zero post. Yeah, sure, I went to adult karate practice and found that I'm still not at 100%. And yes, I let the Tyrants off the hook so they could stay at the Manor and suck every last drop of life out of Gung-Gung. Oh, they did eat their dinner in record time the last two nights knowing that the extended play period was waiting for them. They certainly enjoyed playing in the snow we got yesterday ... REAL SNOW. None of this ice/sleet crap. A whole INCH of snow. My neighbor, Gus, even went so far as to get out his snow blower to clear his driveway. Not very effective on such a light dusting. As far as I can tell, most of the fluffy white power has evaporated in areas exposed to sunlight. So, no snowmen this year. Oh, and gasoline is at $2.57USD here. I suppose the extraordinary cold helped jack up those prices. Makes you wonder why oil futures are so strong while the market 'adjustments' are bringing everything else down.

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Frosty the snow-man ...

Wow ... keeping up with current events have left me with very little to keep up with. I'm contending with a bit of snow today though. March ... the portcullis to spring, has been particularly bitter. Last night, I made two steaks on the grill and the flickering blue flames of propane, those seeds of global warming, that kept my fingers from snapping off. So, apparently, I'm contributing to global warming by both burning fossil fuels AND eating meat. Well, that's what PETA says. Please pass the A1 sauce, it's damn cold here. Later today, I'll be picking up the Tyrants and letting them play in the snow till dinner time instead of going to swimming and karate practice. You gotta have fun sometimes and this is the first snow we have had here that did not come down as sheets of bone-raping ice.

In the news OUTSIDE the boundaries of the Haupertonaian empire ... there is the new Daylight Savings Time (DUMB DUMB DUMB!) this coming weekend. and of course, with this, I'll be on support phone duty the following week. I'll probably break my record of fielded calls. If so, I'll expect a larger corner office (my current is only as large as my boss's boss's office) and personal sycophant to tell me every 15 minutes that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. SIGH Yeah, sure. Of course, all this fretting and peevish consternation is feeding upon itself. Somewhere within the MS Cabal I recall this quote: "Worry is like praying for something bad to happen". Yep, that pretty much sums it up, no?

Other pertinent/salient news that actually applies to the Haupertonian Empire: Hybrid cars. Now, I'm not going to spout more about global warming and the impact of humanity on it. What I am looking at is the almighty greenback. The Mrs saw a segment on CNet the other day that was recorded on our beloved TiVo and recommended that I watch it. And I saw this. Yes, it only gets 27/32 mpg ... but that's better than what I'm sqeezing out of the SuperSaturn POS right now and I have a fairly difficult time squeezing in and out of the damn thing without a 55 gallon barrel of petroleum gel. On top of the stingy $23K price tag [ed. I paid that for my current used car back in 97!], I'll get a Pennsyltucky State Government bonus payment for buying a hybrid car! So now, I can be a pushy hybrid owner AND spend the savings on steak and cigars! WOOT!

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Clawing through the weeks

This is awful. Just a blatant miscarriage of all that is right in the world. I'm just starting to get over this damn viral/bacterial/etc attack (yeah, I still have 2.5 weeks of antibiotics and steroids to choke down) and my turn at the pager detail is starting to loom ominously on the horizon like a double barrel twister targeting a single trailer home. Urg. At least I have hope. Everyone I talk to at work says that they have never seen it as bad as I had it and the following weeks have only produced a total that can match my own tally. I'm almost done closing all the cases that I got burdened with (they, like disease, linger and cripple) so I'll be able to start blogging a little more consistently. Yeah, right.

On the financial front, it looks like my accountant (Thanx Amish Dad!) says I owe a butt-load of taxes. I'll have to remember to reduce the number of allowances I have set up on my W2 ... I think I might be at 4 or 5. At least the Govt is not getting an interest free loan from me, but I'll have to break into the Tyrannical Twins' titanium belted piggy banks to cover this. The Mrs and I don't keep a lot of discretionary spending funds on hand to be tempted with. I did find out that my employer will cover my cable internet bill though. I just got the paperwork so now it's just a matter of pulling the receipts out of the Mrs Turing Machine Filing System and submitting them. Gotta love them MegaCorp Benefits! Now, if I could just get the health insurance to cover the costs of my winter produce, we would be living high on the hog ... the free-range vegetarian hog that is. I just need to dig deeeep into the subterranean sublevels of the Haupertonain underground empire ... probably to Sublevel 37NQ and find where the Mistress of Persistence has buried the paid bill receipts.

Gung-Gung (The Mrs's father) is down for the week, this past weekend and next weekend. The Mrs's Kute Kousin Karin and Her NeoCon Husband were here as well. The Preacher BIL is going to be down next weekend and so are the Amish Dad and Super Mom. So, you might get the idea that I've considered declaring the Manor a Bed-N-Breakfast if not for the transient population, but at least for the number of slumbering souls per square inch. And as a matter of course, the last few days we have seen the ambient temperature of SE Pennsyltucky drop though the floor. So, on goes the heat and out go the $$$. The first quarter of the Fiscal Year is always a rugged one. The bank accounts tend to run on fumes till all these little annoyances (taxes, Christmas bills, insurance premiums, etc...) are taken care of. Of course, that just paves the way for the Q3 annoyances. Urg. One thing of note: Since Gung-Gung is down, we are taking him to watch the Twin Tyrants of Terpitude swim and do their karate .... he really thought they were excellent swimmers so we'll have to wait on his evaluation of their martial arts skills. No wire tricks though, just raw power.

Speaking of Karate, I've had a bit of a rough time of late. The Adult Class has been KICKING MY SORRY SAGGY ASS big time. Last week, I damn near passed out and had to make an emergency run for my inhaler. I suppose I could have waited an extra week to jump back in but I'm afraid that I might balloon up and not fit through the front door if I waited any longer. This week, I'll be bringing the tyrants in to their class maybe once or twice and swimming will go on the back-burner as well. We want to maximize the time they can spend with Gung-Gung before he flies back to the PRC/Hong Kong. Then, it'll be a long-hard climb back into their usual 'Highly structured environment', but I'm sure it'll be appreciated buy the beneficiary parties on the down-slide. Relatives, swimming, karate, illness, covert missions to Iran, taxes, firewood, blah-blah-blah. Anyone have some extra spoons? I'm ready to negotiate a fair and equitable trade.

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