White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Colder than a ...

Thursday, January 03, 2008


Colder than a ...

It's been a bad week for getting out of bed at a reasonable (or at least, responsible) hour. We (the Tyrants and I) have not been swimming of late since it's gotten rather chilly around these parts. Granted, it's not the -60F that I like to frighten my co-workers with. God forbid! Just a touch below freezing. None the less, it makes it a rather extraordinary effort to pry myself from beneath the loving embrace of the quilts and comforters and set my delicate tootsies on that harsh and unforgiving wood floor. Add to that the new electric blankets that I put on each of the beds ... you have an inescapable lure of comfort no less attractive than a black hole centered in the middle of the Master Suite with a couple of 'body pillows' to top it off. This morning, I found that if I just poked one leg from beneath the cold smothering blankets, I could tap the alarm snooze button without having to leave the Mrs's side. Genius! I did not even have to wake fully! Although, every 10 minutes the Mrs alarm clock would start polluting my slumber with it's klaxon bleating ... and I would quickly slip out of bed, tip-toe across the foot-ball field sized floor and mash that annoying bit of electronics with all the Karate Hammer Fist force I could muster. I had to tip-toe though, since if the Hounds detected that I was up and about, they would commence operation Whine and Whimper till I could not stand the bone grating noise and would have to set them out. Of course, they no more wanted to be outside than I did in my boxers. Yeah, I was too lazy to get dressed fully. Picking up doggie dip in your knickers and nothing else should be an Olympic Event. Either I need to get to bed earlier, or I need to sleep with sweat-clothing under the sheets so they are warm enough to put on when I wake.

And now for the cute story of the day. Got a bag of them right here ... let's pick one out. Ahh, yes ... a real tickler this one. Since we are skipping the swim session, I bring the Tyrants to the Manor where I prep the table for dinner, get the next day's lunch set up and light the fire in the stove ... among other things. So yesterday, I poured two bottles of milk and put them in a refrigerator pack with two sticks of string cheese ... or so I thought. Next morning, we are all at the DayCare/ReEducation facility and I ask Alexis to help out and take the refrigerator pack to the small fridge in their 'sensory improvisation chamber'. By the time I get to it, she has already removed the milk bottles ... but where is the cheese!? I look through the bag and it is not there. I check my bag at the Mrs's request (I called her, she was still at home) and find nothing but a crushed banana (DAMN!). She counts the remaining cheese and there are 2 missing as expected. So I must have left it somewhere in the Manor while addressing other tasks the previous afternoon. Well then, I ask the Accommodatingly Available Mrs to drop off MORE cheese for the Tyrants (need that calcium) on her way to work. Later on, she calls me to let me know that Attila was surprised to see Mommy show up and asked why. When told, she informed Mommy that she had already put the cheese in the fridge and pulled the 2 packets apart. A-HA! The helpful little one had subverted my efforts. So now, they have surplus string cheese. Who moved my cheese ... indeed.

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