White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Rut

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Rut

After last week's paroxysm of activity, it's almost a relief to get back to the mundane and exiguous schedule that we keep here in the Haupertonian Manor. Soooo, Monday was consumed by sleep, work, swim, karate, dinner, bath, and bed-time story as was Tuesday with the addition of Adult Karate, Kids Homework, Word Quiz and more maladroit attempts to do something worth-while at work.

So, instead of a heap of inane platitudes and worn out bromides, I'm going to steal some snarky observations from Varifrank:

Varifrank's Laws

1. You dont get paid by how hard you work, but by how hard you are to replace.

2. A man without enemies is a man not living up to his full potential.

3. The universe is not an entirely rational construct, therefore science and mathematics have their limits as tools of discovery. Sometimes you just have to guess.

4. All great discoveries occur because of a random accident colliding the irrational persistence of a man who didnt know any better than to keep working when everyone else had already given up.

5. The worlds large monuments, such as the Pyramids of Giza were made for no other purpose than to simply keep people busy. There is nothing more dangerous to governments than well fed people who have free time, no common purpose and most importantly no need of control or organization by said governments.

6. The migration of Homo Sapiens around the planet after the end of the last ice age was fundamentally powered by the genetically ingrained desire within all members of the species to get as far away from their inlaws as possible.

7. The core idea of western civilization is the phrase "none of your business".

8. The core idea of fascist and communist thought is "you have no business".

9. There is no leftist thought, except that no matter what the situation is "America is always wrong".

10. The collapse of civilization begins when your next door neighbor takes an interest in whats on your side of the fence.

11. News is not information. News is just the airtime that exists inbetween car commercials; its only purpose is to keep you watching long enough to make it to the car commercials. If they thought they could hold your attention by broadcasting a lava lamp, they would do it.

12. The only part of the news that you can really use is given to you by the weatherman, who is almost always the station idiot.

13. You can teach anyone who can think logically how to code software, but you cannot teach anyone to think logically; they either have it or they dont. You would really be shocked at how few people think logically.

14. Most humans are sane and rational, but all human organizations are insane and irrational. The bigger the organization, the more insane and irrational. Therefore, avoid joining all large organizations the same way you would avoid making eye contact with the crazy homeless people that you see on the way to work.

15. If you cannot own property, you are property.

16. No matter how important you think you are, 10 years after you are dead, the only people who will remember you ever existed or what you looked like are related to you. Use your time accordingly.

17. Having children is the only method of time travel to the future that is allowed by science.

18. Utopia is the single most destructive idea ever invented by mankind.

19. If you find only yourself at the center of the purpose of your life, your life has been wasted.

20. If you feel the need to whine about the current circumstances of your life, imagine yourself standing on the stage of a college lecture auditorium, in the audience sit all the members of your ancestry extending back all the way in time to the stone age. Father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great grand fathers and mothers and so on and so on. Now, imagine trying to tell them how tough you have it and then try to imagine how hard they would laugh at you for complaining about the air conditioning on your lexus not working or your condo in florida going down in value.