White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Hooo-kay now, let's crank up the 'way-back machine' and recap what I've been up to (or down to) over the last few days. Back in the previous century ... sayyy, Friday. Yes, Friday. I was having a rather difficult time. You see, I've spent the week eating primarily fruit, nuts and high fiber veggies. No time for meat, you see. Well, the end result was multiple potty trips mixed in with a prodigious volume of biologically manufactured gas. Yeah, I was not a happy camper. Later that night, after I had disgorged most of my internal organs, the Tyrants and I were off to TSD class. Finally, after multiple lectures, practice sessions and one-on-one sessions, Jovial Jake finally got his 1st stripe. This was not an extemporaneous activity. You should have seen his head virtually explode when he realized that he managed to get through all 20 moves without a misstep of flawed stance. I swear I could count every one of his teeth when that smile broke out over his face. Now, he just needs to catch up to his sister with the other 2 forms (variations of the first one) and the rivalry will really get cranked up. I'm so darned proud of that little punk.

Saturday afternoon, we had a birthday party for another set of twins. Yet another one of the Mrs's co-workers produced a boy-girl set and this was their 1st birthday. Yes, I know. I'm counting the number of families we are connected to that have twins: 5 to date. Two college friends, 2 co-workers, 1 sister of co-worker. Like some sort of top-secret breeding program ... I've said too much. Just stare deeply into the monitor ... the wipe will be painless and take only a second *********** ... Yes. As I was saying, with all the little ones running about the party, it was inevitable that I would pick up a virus from one of those little mobile petri dishes. We left there fairly late and I was feeling that usual run-down blech of melancholy you get when you are at the first stages of an illness. The next morning, it was at full force and Alexis, of all people, was the culprit. Jake is typically the one to bring home unwelcome guests. He'll contract it soon enough. All things said though, she handles this stuff much better than the Sissy-Nancy-boys of the Manor.

Sunday held a bit of a treat for the Church-Going folk of the manor. There was the usual Sunday School at 1000 hours which the Tyrants actually look forward to. Odd that they ask to go to Sunday School in the middle of the week and Jake will suddenly break into song at random moments singing one of the little ditties ( the best he can ) to the Mrs. I'm sure she is certain that brain washing is occurring, but as the class 'Sargent at Arms' I can attest that the greatest amount of activity is the insistence that the children sit down and listen for more than 15 seconds. So, there I was in the Parochial School tending to coats and attendance records and such when the Program Director, her learning disabled sister and the 'Actually Certified Teacher' rush over to the windows bank of windows facing the rectory and Main Church Building. Interested, I shuffle over and caught a glimpse of something you only see once in a decade. Apparently, Cardinal Rigali deemed it appropriate to pay our parish a visit. The whole procession was in attendance including a battalion of my fellow KoC Brothers. WHAT!? They did not call on me! Oh, yes, of course. They would want the fit-as-a-fiddle 75 year old men to act as color guard instead of a brash, ornery and lame 39yr old 3rd degree. There are rules son, don't you know. So, directly after class ended I shuttled the Tyrants over to the vestibule so that they could meet the Cardinal close up. A glow settled over them as the Tyrants were mystically transformed into pristine little angels and they waved gracefully ... and he paused, smiled and waved back before moving on to his next engagement. Well, ain't that something!? They were fascinated and quite frustrated that we were not going to attend the assembly in the school auditorium afterwards so they could bask in his presence a bit more. I've never seen children more interested in attending church and these two. Not a bad thing, at all.

Later in the day, the Mrs and I had our weekly 'Doggie Dip Date' and then I wrapped up the day by restocking the fire-wood brackets while she was off shopping. Yes, venturing out into the cold and wind while sick is not an enjoyable task, but coming in to a roaring fire after each load is about as close to heaven as you can get when your sinuses are trying to simulate a mucus comprised nor-easter. And to wrap up the weekend, it snowed about 1/16 of an inch to make the morning commute all that more interesting. Of course, they salted the living daylights out of the local roads so there were no accidents this time, just a lot of people driving really slow. Taught them old dogs a new trick. Drive slow when slippery, who woulda thunk!?

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