White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Yellow

Wednesday, November 15, 2006



It's been a bit sluggish over the last few days. Complacency is a terrible thing when consumed in great doses. Of course, there is something to be said for a smooth road. It gives you an opportunity to make small adjustments to your battle plan and you are able to discern any alterations to the outcome, no matter how slight. For instance, we had a new acrylic Microban coated shower insert installed on Monday. The tiles were caving in on the the wall around the faucet so the time was nigh for action. Me, having enough destructive Manor Upgrade programs running in parallel, decided to shell out the three thousand bazillion HED (Haupertonian Empire Dinar) to have someone else do it. They showed up at 0700 and the Mrs monitored them till 1500 when the finished up and left. They did an EXCELLENT job of cleaning up after themselves and the end product, though smelling strongly of RTV, was fantastic. We were not supposed to use it for 24 hours so the kids got a treat of using the Master Suite shower. Jake loves that. We'll have to introduce him to showering more often to save a bit of water. Sure, they swim at night but we do need to wash all the chlorine off. As it stands, the kids hair is starting to get that particular bleached out look that people pay lot's of money for. Funny, they don't even appreciate it. We did get to use the new installation last night though. The color makes the room appear bigger due to the blazing white brightness. Gotta love that. The curved shower curtain rod is another bonus. No more clingy plastic curtain adhering to the wet flesh and chilling you to the bone as you search for the fugitive bar of soap bobbing about your feet. I believe the Mrs is more impressed with this than she would have been with a diamond ring, broach, necklace or earrings. Of course, she does not have pierced ear lobes so I'm low-balling my assertion.

The other event of notice is a biological development. In my never ending quest to staunch my habitual Spoon Deficit Spending Disorder, I've fallen prey to the Government Disease of borrowing from peter to pay paul. Instead of throttling back on my activity level, I'm forging ahead with the goal of obtaining more spoons by hook, crook or raiding the silver wear drawer. Given that presumption, the Mrs (ahh, bewitching, enticing and oh so logical ... my vulcan beauty) saw a bottle of B Complex supplements at the Bulk Warehouse Facility (BJ's) A 55 gallon drum of the buggers. It had enough B6 and B12 to be considered it's own airforce. Ok, that was kinda lame. I was alluding to the B-52 ... not the band mind you ... aw, never mind. I've learned not to tell a bad joke more than once. In any event, I started consuming this additional ORAL horse-pill along with the Volvo sized Evening Primrose capsules, the more friendly E capsules and the traditional multi-vitamin. I thought nothing of it till much later in the day. I did not notice any particular up-tick in my energy levels, but what made me think about it was a misadventure to the Mens room. I drink a lot of coffee. Probably a little too much. You know you have a problem when your urine smells like hot coffee. Now as a man, we have a built in ability to amuse ourselves instead of just crowning the throne. We notice little things while trying to hit the bulls-eye (Really ladies, we do try. We are not peeing on the seat, tank, wall, ceiling and so forth just to get your goat {evil laugh}). So anyways, there I was wizzing away when I notice that the hue of my expelled waste fluids was ... well, not normal. I like asparagus and think it's neat that I can turn something green into something bright yellow. When you don't eat said scrumptious veggie and you notice that the byproduct of your consumption is now neon/acid/fluorescent/typhoid yellow you tend to become slightly uneasy. After my alarm died down, I was sitting in my corner office for a bit before the revelation hit me. It was that damn binding agent in the throat-grinder of a pill that did the dirty deed. It was a relief that I would not have to go to my fantastic female family physician and tell her that 'there is something wrong with my pee-pee!'. I'm sure she is used to that kind of candor, but I'm still a relatively modest guy. Well, mostly in person ... I tend to be quite brazen in the blogosphere. That being said, I'm happy as a brilliant blazing yellow bee about the B-12/6 and that the side effects to date, are more artfully amusing than chemically corrosive .... man, I'm absurdly alliterative today, no?[+/-] show/hide the rest of this post

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