White Lightning Axiom: Redux

I've been a bit preoccupied today and thus, did not get to write all the tripe that was fit to print ... or not. So, there is this snippet that my Minnesota Cousin sent me. I've seen it before but it still gives me a chuckle:

DON'T FART IN BED

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep,

she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck,
gizzard, liver and all the spare

parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed

covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts into

his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood

curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years

of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood
stained underpants with a look of

horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right.

All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got
most of them back in."

Labels: PSA

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 3:51 PM