White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Broken Globe, broken heart.

Thursday, November 30, 2006


Broken Globe, broken heart.

Yesterday was fairly uneventful. At TSD practice, I was one of the more prominent 'Father Figures' on the mat. Ok, at the time I was the ONLY one, so I lent my pedagogical skills in herding the peanut gallery and giving advice in areas such as which is the left foot and which is right or how to form a straight line. For my efforts, I was thanked by the instructor. I guess life experience does amount to something. The Adult Class had only 3 students so I was the recipient of unprecedented attention. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes an exhausting and austere event. This time, a little of both. Frankly, it's a good thing I'm only doing this three times a week, the shock to my system could be irreversible else wise. On the upside, I sustained no grievous injury this time.

Anyone who knows me or has read much in this chronicle of my mid-life understands that I have a particularly severe and unrelenting sensitivity regarding the innocence and general well being of children. Not only my own, but markedly those who are in distress. This morning, the Tyrants selected some toys to bring in for Show-n-Tell. A highly anticipated and beloved event. Alexis brought in her MORE lethal crowd control microwave emitter and Jake wanted to show off his pimped out stryker with anti-anti-armor ballistics armor and anti ECM package. Ok, it was really a Barbie and some hot-wheels ... but I KNOW what they wanted to bring in, but Mom said no. Yet again, I digress. So I'm depositing the Tyrants at the DayCare/ReEducation Compound when a howl of discontent followed by uncontrollable sobbing breaks out from across the room. A little girl is standing over her shattered snow globe. Fine shards of razor sharp glass has spread about the floor as if they were an army of invisible fire ants. Mrs Tina rushes in to start the mop-up but as any parent knows, a flurry of activity will inevitably attract the attention of the littlest one. They want to help, don't you know. Doing some quick math in my head (10 children, 10 fingers each, 14/5 soft and fleshy targets per finger) I deduced that there were not enough band aids even at the Mayo Clinic to cover this catastrophe. My daddy powers surged and I knew it was now or never. So I asked, hey, do you guys know where there are any costumes or capes? It was as if someone had thrown a box of Jelly Donuts into a Richard Simmons Aerobics demonstration. The all bolted at the same time for the opposite corner of the room where the 'Pretend, Obfuscate and Subterfuge' play area was. Crisis averted. Of course, Erin, was still crushed at the loss of her little ballerina snow globe. She no longer had her prized possession for show-n-tell. Well, you know what this did to me and I had no choice. The Hallmark store opens at 0930 so after I spent some time at work, I snuck off to pick up a new globe and delivered it to her during class. Of course, this was from Santa who I bumped into on the way over. He was watching and saw that she was so sad so he asked me to drop off a Micky/Minnie Holding Hands globe to make her feel better. As I scuttled out the door, all her classmates huddled about her to see the Early Christmas present and the reddened eyes shown bright with joy. I'm kinda hoping that she does not feel too bad that it is not a pink ballerina. While I was out on the 'mission to get the supplies to the settlement', I picked up some nick-nack toys to drop in the Marines Toys for Tots barrel too. At least I know that I feel better. Even though, I know, this was a reflex reaction and not my Free Will (yes, there is sarcasm there).

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