White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Rub-a-dub-dub

Tuesday, October 17, 2006



Yes, I'm a bit tardy with this. So sorry ... so sorry. Did you not like my Haiku? Or perhaps found my Ginko Slayer post to ... brainy? Hmmm, yes. I get that sometimes. It comes with the territory of being a recidivist whiner. No matter, I will forge ahead and lay out for you the exquisite theater which is my daily grind. Sit down, feast upon my daily banalities, and should you feel compelled, comment upon my commiseration.

First off, everything went as planned right up till my slated docking procedure at the manor round about 1915 hours. My daily schedule is cast in stone and variations have fallen within the six sigma paradigm. It is at this time that we can expect the minor deviations to occur. Tonight, we were expecting the molded tub/shower enclosure barker to arrive and try to wrangle a sale out of us. Unsuspecting pawn! The sale has already been made provided there are no bizarre pricing schemes or requirements that keep the Tyrant's bathroom unavailable for extended periods of time. The gentleman arrived early. I was out on the Mile Long driveway taking the trash to the curb at the time. Trash and recycling can only be brought to the curb after 1800 hours or the mighty fist of township fascism will descend upon the transgressing offenders and they will be CRUSHED with a warning notice! It will be YELLOW! But I digress (as usual). So I was out with Thor for he had not had his morning BM and I certainly was not interested in shoveling his monster load from the tile floor of his room should he decide that he could not wait a full day. That would be ill advised of me. (Again, digression). The car pulls up and I wave, thinking that it was much too early and perhaps it is someone looking for direction. That happens A LOT. I seem to be the 'Park Entrance Kiosk' where people stop and ask for the best way to get to XXX street near the Waterfall. I keep a small map in my wallet that shows every street in the development. I'm a good boy-scout. Thor recognizes there is a treat. A STRANGER is encroaching on the DMZ! Hackles up, barking and prancing begins. Hush and sit-down is not working so a command to get to the back deck is issued, accepted and obeyed. Good Mastodon. After the Salesman changes hid drawers, we spend the next hour discussing the ins and outs of his product (all ins, no outs). We make decisions on color and other peripherals. No wainscoting, thank you, and we are keeping the spigot that we had installed a few years back. Then the Haggler In Chief enters the negotiations. The Mrs, that perennial NYC-Manhattan Girl, can make a the most hard-core huckster agree to eat his own head as part of the deal. Indeed, I have learned that we are getting all that we wanted along with a healthy slice of the Moon. Light side, dark side was unacceptable. Moon-base Jacob will need the sunlight for the solar panels.

I've come to the conclusion that the Migraine I had this past weekend was masking a minor MS attack. I seem to have developed a numb patch on my shoulder next to my neck. It would normally not be all that annoying except there is a constant phantom sensation of ticking that has replaced the normal tactile input. It is disturbing my sleep quite effectively. The other issue is that we allow the Tyrants to eat their breakfast in our bed and watch TiVo while the Mrs and I busy ourselves with the normal morning activities. I'm certain that the toast crumbs are acting in a synergistic manner to ensure I will not sleep comfortably. Yes, I know. If it hurts, don't do it. Just make them eat their breakfast at the table like a normal family. Except we are not a normal family. Should I attempt that, one of two things will certainly happen. Either they will fall asleep at the table or they will burst in while I'm trying to shower and mock me in my nudity. The second has happened so don't go there. I'm sensitive about my body image. It's tough to be vain. Just ask Carly Simon. She wrote that song about me, don't you know. Except I did not go to Nova Scotia ... it was Utah. Oh, and speaking of dry dusty places where there is oil, gasoline is holding steady at $2.13USD/Gal. (What a train-wreck of a segue.) Looks like we may have hit the bottom of the slide. This spate of cold weather is probably getting people to refill their oil tanks for the winter.

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