White Lightning Axiom: Redux: BOO!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006



On the way home from Karate practice last night, I had about 15 minutes or so to dialogue with the Tyrants. After 60 minutes of swimming and 60 minutes of calisthenics, they are exhausted enough to drop all their usual doomsday threats of my eventual extinction and pronouncements of their eventual dominance of all existence. So, in my innocence, I asked what they did today. Alexis apparently got a nice purple bruise on her temple as a result of a death-smash head-but to an insolent classmate. Good hon, but because daddy blocks punches with his puss does not mean you should try to imitate the behavior. Fortunately, her skin tone is a bit darker than mine so the oxygen-deprived surface blood is not as noticeable as my angry, throbbing rigor mortis settling in my ankle and big toe. My ankle does not hurt all that much (Thank you MS, for this one bonus), but the toe is gout like in pain and is quite the burr under my saddle. When my attention finally came back from the pain on the accelerator peddle and back to the Tyrants, Alexis was starting to talk about a dream she had. Apparently, she dreamed of Grams and Gramps. Specifically, she dreamed that they came down to our neck of the woods and were doing Karate with her. Then Jacob chimed in and asserted that not only were Grams and Gramps doing karate, but also Uncle Paul, Katie and Thor were in on it. Then, not to be out done, Alexis insisted that they were Fighting a giant monster who then shrank to be an itty-bitty little monster. Who, of course according to Jake, got smooshed when it was stomped on. At this time, he lapsed into a 'squishing' sound tirade and all future contributions to the 'dream' were primarily of how the splat sounded. Alexis, being who she is, kept her focus on the subject. The monster, you see, has been squished via Grams and Gramps stomping on it so it now has 'X's for eyes and it's tongue is sticking out. She got this from watching Tom and Jerry cartoons. Classic education.

Some folk may call this kind of thing a sack of mistruths and lies, but I think encouraging the imagination this way has a lot of benefits. Jake is not as far along as his sister mind you. He is all about cars, trucks, trains, planes and seducing adult/teenage women. Alexis, though ... we need to keep an eye on her at times. The other day she was talking to the Maternal Mrs about how she got so much lint in her hair. After a moment of introspection, she deduced that she had fallen into a pile of lint, of course. Not to be swayed, the Mrs asked how she got so many tangles in her hair from dust and fibers. Mom, not understanding the first answer had to be educated. Of course she had fibers in her hair! She had fallen into a pile of fiber. But Mom was not satisfied, where was this fiber pile? Well, DUH! In the pile of dust there is a pile of fiber mom. Sheesh.

I spent the dinner carving out the two pumpkins that we had grown in the Haupertonain Agricultural Sector out in the back 50. We were fortunate to get two given the rough times we had with vines this year. After plunging my hand deep into the mess of sinew, I've deduced that my choice to NOT become a doctor or health care professional was apropos. I chose not to save the seeds this year. We sometimes clean the seeds, salt and toast them but I'm finding that the ROI on this is much too low given that we can just buy 10 times as much product at Wegmans. Greater enjoyment, less time, less mess. I dropped a LED light into each of them and they looked great ... the kids had specified the shape and size of each of the facial features and were thrilled. The LED lights are such a great idea too. No extension cords or stink of burning pumpkin flesh this year. I picked them up at Lowes and are powered by 2 AA batteries. The surface cabinet mount ones are the best.

Final details, the Mrs's internals are not quite right yet. Every so often, her face will screw up and she'll dart off to the rest room, not to be seen again for hours. I wish I could do something for her, but she has a stomach made of lace and tissue paper. She still avoids roller coasters, booze and bad movies with Johnny Knoxville like the plague. Hopefully, she will be good enough to either go out with the kids tonight (it's a long stroll with no potties in sight) or stay at home and defend the manor from all manner of spooks and ghouls ... the hounds bark at every ring of the door bell so they will need to be let out. Last year I let them out into the pastoral expanse and they chased off a large mob of teenagers as they neared the territories ... heh. Good dogs.

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