White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Ahh, angst at last

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Ahh, angst at last

I was wondering what happened to all the frustration in my life. Looks like it was on sabbatical. Yes, just long enough for me to believe it finally expunged from our tiny empire of grace. It all started shortly after 1730. The kids were sitting on the edge of the pool, gouging their eyes out of their sockets due to the high concentration of WMD they used in the pool. I think it was Mustard Gas. In 15 minutes, their lessons were to begin, but I had seen not a hint of any instructors or the swim director. This new fellow, Mario, had called me about 3 weeks back to tell me that the lessons had been delayed till the week of October 9th. Well, it is the week of October 9th dammit. I asked about and the lifeguard on duty did not even know the name of the new swim director. Since the Older Ladies were starting to wade into the pool for their nightly 5:30 water aerobics session, we were compelled to leave at that point. I wrapped up the Tyrants like mummified treasures and we waddled out to the front desk like a troop of surviving lemmings. After inquiring of the equally ignorant attendees as to the status of the swim program, they attempted to get mario on the line with negligible success. The took down my information and promised that the pool manager, charlie, would call us later in the night. I know this line, their alacrity is a ruse to get me to go away.

Just as a point of incorrigible stubbornness, I called the next day to CONFIRM that the front desk did have the signup sheets and that we were there at the correct time on the correct day. They had the sheets and I was correct. Back to the unfolding events; after being glad-handed, the Tyrants and I started back to the changing room to go home. It was much too late to try to go to Karate practice. Alexis took off like a stray photon in an ion stream in spite of being tightly bundled. As she disappeared around a corner, I her a loud twack and within seconds, a simpering moan. Moments later, as I approached the event horizon, I saw her stagger back around the corner with a viscous trail of blood streaming from her button nose. Oh, lord. She had apparently taken the corner too sharply and without the freedom of movement in her legs she went down hard on the concrete floor. She was alerting every defense droid within a mile with a Amplitude Coded distress message in her wails and heads poped out of every alcove in the hallway. When a small child wails and vital fluids are leaking, the gravitas of the moment escalates to immeasurable levels. Ad-hoc emergency personnel streamed forth with ice packs and concerned looks. What we really needed was a tissue. I ended up using a beach towel to staunch the flow. After coagulation had set in and sniffling that accompanies tears had subsided, I took the opportunity to be a heartless parent. You see, this is why we do not run around the pool or run without shoes. You will get hurt and that makes Daddy and Mommy very sad. Jovial Jake was watching on with silent shock at this grave atrocity. He felt compelled to pipe up every so often and let me know that Indeed, he was not running. He was just short of displaying schadenfreude, but seemed quite capable of taking advantage of his sister's torpid state. After mopping up the puddles of my broken heart, I helped her to get into position to lay her head back and allow the clotting to do it's job.

Now, it's time for the blame game. You see, if the swim instructor had been where they should have been at the time that was slated, we would have been in the pool instead of splayed out on the cold, unforgiving, child slaying floor. I wonder if their Mad Daddy alert went off yet. I know my Angst Level is now set at Flaming Hot Pulsating Red ... with Sparkles and Shooting Fireballs.

Back at the manor, the kennel room smells of the funk of musty dog urine. SOMEONE let loose in the dead of night and recreated the Yellow River. No 3 Gorges Dam was available to retain the surging waters and it must have gotten between the tiles. I'll have to mop the floor now to erase the sins of the Mastodons. That reminds me, the mountains of recycled kibble are growing out back and we are running out of open space for them to do their morning constitutional. This miserable rain and the early night-fall does not allow for me to easily remedy this situation. Oddly enough, I'm quite ready for the first winter freeze to arrive. After reviewing the past years utility bills, I find that our expenditures are actually decreasing. We are nearing the payment levels we saw nearly 10 years ago. And with this summer's odd bill structure (our biggest bill was just a pinch over 300$), I'm thinking that the AC replacement may wait a year or two.[+/-] show/hide the rest of this post

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