White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Sneeze your lungs out

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Sneeze your lungs out

Went swimming with the Tyrants last night. Last chance before the club drains the pools for repair. This will take a week and then some I imagine. They'll probably scream bloody murder when we have to skip a few trips. Not that I have not warned them every time we go to the club that it'll be drained like their bath-tub for a bit. I'll distract them with Karate Practice (5 Punch Death Blow Training) till the next week. Then they can go back to their quest of reaching the bottom of the pool. Jake can do it one out of every 3 attempts. Alexis will be right on his tail soon enough. Kooky amphibians.

The Mrs was out late last night ... and expects the same for this evening. The last two days at my current job. I think this was deliberate so that I would not be out, getting all liquored up and wreaking havoc across the eastern seaboard. Yeah, I'm nearly positive. Might be for my own good though. Anyways, I was in charge of keeping the Twin Tyrants out of trouble last night, which given the tools at my disposal, is not entirely difficult as it used to be. Right up until I had a brain-blasting sneeze. You see, there is this flat muscle that is supposed to be layered over my rib cage ... but is tied in a wretched knot at the moment. The explosive deflation of my lungs really did a job on me. Felt like Mola Ram had done an Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom move on me. I was incapacitated for nearly 30 minutes. Couldn't breath or whimper. This was the opening the kids were waiting for. All the yogurt they could handle was theirs for the taking. Except ... they needed Daddy to open the end of the sleeves. The universe is starting to take notice of my kids ... and thwart them. Excellent.

Since the universe did not have it's fill of antagonizing the Haupertonain Empire Subjects, it played a cruel joke on me this morning. I get up to let the Mastodon Hounds out to wreck the back-50 and notice something odd down at the end of the driveway. The plastic/glass recycling is spread all about the street. Huh? When I go to investigate I find that someone had run OVER the recycling bin and smashed it to pieces. One giant tire track was imprinted on the largest fragment. Swell. I got to spend a big chunk of my morning collecting the recyclables with the knowledge that they are probably going to end up in a garbage dump anyways. Sigh ... I learned too much from Penn and Teller.

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