White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Monday blues, Tuesday dues

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Monday blues, Tuesday dues

The swimming instruction on Monday evening was a trial for the kids ... and myself. Somehow, the club managed to replace the water with .99 Molar hydrochloric acid. The chlorine level was so high, my calloused and grizzled eyes started to sting within minutes of getting in the pool. An awful experience for all, including the instructors. We had arrived an hour before the lesson and was witness to the howls of the younger ones in the previous class as their eyes liquefied before their horrified parents. Half-way through the class, the younglings gave up. Half way though our class, the instructors found that children in pain learn very little. They decided to move to the larger, less chlorinated lap pool. Colder, but not as environmentally hostile. I know why they keep that pool on the EPA superfund list, but I think that the elderly and young have more bladder control than they give credit for.

Back at the Manor, we caught the Mrs before she was about to head off to NYC. Of course, my intention of bathing the kids immediately upon our arrival made her miss the train she was expecting to catch. Alexis was suffering from a rash again and a nice, cool bubble bath was in order. Indeed, her alacrity for the base solution was just what the doctor ordered. Having them bathe before dinner made the evening so much easier for me. The bubbles washed away their machinations, their petulant behavior and the omnipresent combative belligerence. It was a trap into which they lured me and I drank deeply of the cool-Aid. That night, after falling into a blissful slumber, I was up at 0045, 0245 and 0430 before finally heaving my unrested hulk to the hall bathroom to wash the angst of a tumultuous night from my mind. I ended up running 15 minutes late after dropping off the WELL RESTED TYRANTS at the Day Care/Interment/ReEducation center. And yes, traffic at that time had plenty of opportunity to absorb maximum suckiness. Apparently, there was an accident on I76 near the city which backed up going west till it got to the Blue Route called I476. I do not drive on these roads. However, I476 backed up to I276 which I DO use and the backup went right to my friggen driveway. Well, at least past the place on the turnpike that is adjacent (with no on-ramp mind you) to where the Manor is located. Argh just does not cover the bumper sucking love fest that is and will always be till the end of time, the PA Turnpike.

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