White Lightning Axiom: Redux: wooo-ho!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006



Long weekend ... too much to do and not enough got done. Let's flash back to Friday, as it is custom for me to do on Monday. Ahhh, Friday. Full of promise and potential. Much like me back in my college days. Not it is Monday ... weary, beaten and smelling of stale angst. Reeks of despair actually. I had my review and the boss-lady gave me, through the goodness and charity of the company, a 3% raise. Just above the inflation rate ... mostly. No matter, I really did not do much to deserve a big bonus or raise this year. Of course, I should have made a counter-offer. I'll trade my 3% for a few extra vacation days, how about that? Heh, I wonder if she would consider it. Enough of that nonsense, on to the chronicles of the great Sisyphean battle between the Armies of the Haupertonian Empire and the best that the Malevolent Universe can throw at me.

On Friday, Jake was invited to show the class what karate forms he had learned so far. He did pretty good actually. The waves of 'Proud Daddy Fuzzies' nearly washed away the other (lesser) parents sitting about me. Alexis was much to shy to do anything but give little gnat-like kicks to the shins of the instructor. She must have stage fright. I'm sure she'll grow out of it after her first Mortal Combat Conquest. The next morning, the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude are awake by 0620 and ready to bestow their own variety of havoc upon the world. Saturday, 0620, awake. Those three things alone made the morale in the Executive Parental Corps drop to less than zero. Alexis had already had an accident in her bed and I had to get the Mammoth Hounds to poop so that I could collect that too for their 0900 vet visit. Yes, my Saturday morning consisted mostly of dealing with excrement and urine. Wonder why I feel that week-days are a vacation? What was left of the day was consumed by my agricultural endeavors and a birthday party of one of the Mrs's co-workers at 1600. Interestingly enough, this co-worker spent most of the time trying to get silly-drunk. He is a rather amenable and charismatic fellow, but we have nearly nothing in common other than being Male married fathers who know Mrs MDMHVONPA. I spent most of the party chasing down the kids and talking to some of the more reclusive associates of the Mrs who were in attendance. We were there till well after the sun set so I had to push off mowing the pastoral expanse till the next day. The kids were not too interested in leaving. They had gotten to that special zone where if they stopped moving they would fall into slumber where they stood.

Sunday: Mow, plant, got to baptism, party. Other than Jake helping out at the mass baptism and both of the twins falling to sleep on the trip back home, there was little to note other than the great weather and the 'Wicky-Wacky Wicker World' store we passed by. What people do to sell baskets.

It's now Wednesday. I moved the futon from the former Master Bedroom into the kids room while I was doing the last sanding run before the last layer of polyurethane. They went nuts over it. Now I have to finish up Jake's room before I can recover the futon mattress. One odd side-effect is that even though we have been putting Alexis in a pull-up diaper at night, she has been keeping herself dry. It might have to do with her getting a better nights sleep on the futon. I cannot put her back into underwear at night till I get a real bed for her ... with rubber underlayment sheet. It would be awful if she wet the bed when sleeping on the futon ... it would be a lost cause.

In other news, the MIL is doing better ... she might even be discharged. This means that the Mrs will have to increase the frequency of her visits. This is going to make the summer rather difficult when it comes to housekeeping and tending the grounds. Not sure how we are going to juggle this, but we'll think of something. Perhaps a Friday Evening baby-sitter might be required so I can mow the acres of sod, do laundry, vacuum, tend the Agricultural Sector, dishes, etc.... June Cleaver has nothing on me. What a slacker. On the flip side, the Mrs has been a bit ill of late. Nothing indicating impending doom. Upset stomach for a few days and ... vigorous Woman Issues. The twins sensed her distress and targeted her like sharks in a feeding frenzy. Try as I might, distracting them was like trying to transmit tcp/ip packets via rotted, ragged copper pair; Works in theory, not very effective under duress. Perhaps I should nick-name the kids Tip and Ring?

Final note ... President Bush is going to be in the area today. Flying into PHX and then driving out to the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant. Traffic in the area is going to be a disaster. His probable path will take him past the location in KOP where I drive and work. I am expecting a good 60 minute delay. I imagine that the press helicopters will be out in force too. This will act as a synergetic force to redouble the congestion as some of the less savvy automotive pilots strain their necks to catch a glimpse of these airborne nuisances. Time to reload the magazines with idiot seeking ammo.

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