White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Spinning down

Friday, April 21, 2006


Spinning down

I'm a bit tired right now. My 'sleep of the dead' became less than restful after an early morning fire-drill with the kids. Right now, I'm exhausted actually. I had a few drinks with the 'Gang of 5' at the local pub and my motivation ended up in the urinal. I'll post more eloquently about last nights travails later on. Honest.

And here we go. We arrived early enough for swim practice yesterday so that I was able to spend a good 15 minutes with the Twin Tyrants. There is nothing more entertaining for them than creating tsunami in the pool and swamping their poor exhausted father by leaping in at the same time. I can't look away or shield myself for fear of loosing sight of them as they disappear into the murky depths. All four feet of it. Lilliputian Davy Jonses Locker. Not very briny, but terribly cold. Yes, cold. Not the heated exercise pool, but the refrigerated lap pool. I think they add some sort of glucose component so that the water can dive to K -1 without solidifying. Actually, I would not be shocked if they had some sort of artificial singularity in the recycling filter that keeps the ambient temp so low. But I digress. I let the chilled water wash over me as the kids crawl in and out without assistance from a staircase or ladder. Progress. Now I know that they can get out of trouble if they should ever fall into a pool. They are officially better off than most kids their age. Funny thing, when we got to the pool, all but the center lane of the 7 were occupied so we used that one. When the instructors broke from their koffe-clatch, they came to our lane so I did not have to haul the reluctant ones out of the drink. That cold air would guarantee an immediate potty visit. Moments later, after I had gotten dressed (and air dried, forgot a towel) I started reading a bit out of Atlas Shrugged (henceforth to be referred to as AS). A couple pages after the Reardon Trial, I looked up to see Jovial Jacob being escorted to me with his hands neatly tucked between his legs. Yep, potty time. He was entirely blue. As if he were some highland Scott out for a brawl with the Romans. Shivering away, we drained the offending fluids and returned. Within minutes, Alexis (who proclaimed that she peed in the pool yesterday) needed to make a pit-stop as well. What is good for the goose, gander, and so forth don't you know. The practice was cut short a few minutes as the Formerly Jovial Jacob began to wail and utter contentious complaints about how his bones were becoming frozen. I could not deny that their tiny 35 lb bodies are unlikely to retain enough heat for their muscles to work for long. A bit of snuggling, a dry towel and a sucker softened the pain a bit.

Picked up the pizza at Real Italian Pizzeria V2.0 and had a quick word with the owner/proprietor/Immigrant. I let him know that his pies passed the Manhattan Mrs test and the kids liked it as well. We talked about his thin crust, the new employees and the kids. Good man. The kind who's establishments I enjoy patronizing. Off to the manor with garlic bread sticks quickly disappearing in the hands of the Children of the Consumption Gods. At the manor, we did a few rounds on the Death-Race 2000 Tricycles before I informed the kids that it was time to go in. The sun is beyond the horizon so the skeeters are looking to come out. Yes, as well as greens in the garden we have a battalion of skeeters coming out of the wood-work. Jake is unconcerned about that and REFUSES to budge. I go to fetch him as Alexis complains that she needs to pee NOW. I increase my gait to a slow jog and Jacob flees. Alexis complains louder, I run faster, Jacob dodges. I catch him eventually but Alexis has stopped complaining. I look at her as she is standing legs a foot apart. She has a very concerned look, and I know what is happening. Curses, time for a change of pants.

It's 0230, Jake and Alexis have completed their multiple nightly flights before settling down. He strolls in and kicks me to the floor. Sigh, such a persistent little bugger. I'm tired enough to let it slide. After sustaining several crushing blows to my internal organs, I look over at the clock and see it's 0555. I'll get up and fetch Alexis so she can start the morning off dry. Too late ... again. I change all her clothing (somehow, every stitch was soaked) and the sheets. Her pillows were spared this time. I'm going to have to start waking her at midnight and getting her to drink less when she swims. Reminding her that she peed in the same water she is gulping has not seemed to dissuade her.

Get to the DayCare/ReEducation Facility by 5 after 0700, deposit precious cargo and supplies, evacuate by 0715. Even with that compressed schedule, I still need an hour plus to get to work. Accident, Turnpike, Slow lane, cars remain to block traffic. Blood pressure, rising, vision, blurred with rage. Might be time for a beer for lunch. Or two.

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