White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Shore leave

Friday, April 14, 2006


Shore leave

Last night was a mad rush. Between the horrible traffic volume (fallout from one overturned truck on an Interstate 15 miles away), the swimming lessons and picking up the Pizza from Preferred Pizzeria v2.0 I had a very narrow slice of time to get the lawn turned jungle mowed. With machette in one hand and a train of porters behind me, I hacked my way through the savage heart of darkness .... in the dark. I had neglected to check the fuel supplies and found that not only was the reactor core on the mower empty, but none of our reserve caches were supplied. So, off to the fuel depot I go. Upon my return to the Physical Plant Complex, I found that the Sun was just about to dip below the horizon. There I was, at the crux of a decision and there was few options: Mow in the dark or wrestle with the excessive growth next weekend ... if it did not rain. I know very well that the universe works against me so it would certainly rain the following week. Fortunately, the exterior plasma torches illuminated the grounds nearly to the perimeter. The far strip on the other side of the Mile-Long driveway was unusually overgrown ... most likely from the liquid acid that the hounds had deposited there. Must have mixed with the chainsaw bar oil and the trilithium deposits to genetically alter the DNA of the grass into some sort of kudzu-ish fescue. No matter, I'll use the clippings in the garden by overlaying it on the sawdust.

After finishing several square acres of the front expanse, I went on to a smaller excavation job of implanting three bags of Asiatic Lilly bulbs. I imagine it would have been a bit easier if I were to attempt this in the daylight hours. Makes me wonder if it would make more sense to work nights so I would have a sliver of a chance to see the sun outside of the weekends. Novel concept ... although, I would probably burst into flames much like the Morlocks due to ages of vitamin D deprivation. After gouging holes into mother earth and implanting a dozen vegetative carbon based filters, I wrapped up the evening by moving the last seven 30 gallon refuse bags of sawdust to the back-50 for future consideration. A rather productive evening if I do say so myself.

Friday Morning ... up at 0600. Shut off con-founded alarm and go back to dreamland till 0700. Of course, then I bolt awake realizing that I need to free Alexis from her dream-like bliss and escort her to the bathroom before her frail bladder fails. She is excited about the trip up to the Grandparents and only tolerates the Mrs and I trying to get a bit more rest till 0730. No rest for the wicked nor the parental. The Hounds are making a horrid racket as well and my hopes for a moment more of rest is quickly ground away to the raw awareness that either I take action or they will. When they take action, I end up having to do 'mop-up'. Even the Army Core of Engineers would rather not tame this raging rapids. Yep, vacation for the modern man. And people wonder why I arrive at work with a smile on my face.

Shower, pack, transfer cargo to Hold #2 of the Family tank and we are on our way at 0830. Not more than an hour later, we are nearing the Tunnel of No Return on the North East Extension of the PA Turnpike. It's now raining. Fun times on the road but my mood is buoyant. I've manage to get the lawn mowed. Outsmarted the universe for one. On the other side of the tunnel, ethereal clouds hug the sides of the aging mountains and a fine mist lies thickly over the road. A quick stop at Hickory Run to refuel the gut and another at the Flying J to top off the fusion chamber in the Family tank. The kids empty their bladders at the first and I empty my own at the second. Somehow, the Iron Will Mrs has disposed of waste-waters from her own person by a metaphysical transcendental transfer to a parallel dimension and has no need of a rest stop. Peculiar. I'll have to talk to the boys in the lab about how to do this myself. In a short 4.5 hours, we arrive at the FOB in Ithaca and the warm embrace of Grams. Jake presents Grams with a half-eaten Apple strudle as a 'gift'. It's Good Friday so fasting is on the menu but it is graciously accepted along with a long parade of hugs and kisses. And so ends Day 1 of our Spring 'Break'.

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