White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Bold, stoic stand

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Bold, stoic stand

1) The Maternal Mrs is off to NYC to tend to the Fragile MIL and it is up the Tyrannical Twins and myself to keep the Manor secure till her return. Sure, she'll be back for Wednesday but will immediately turn around the following day and disappear for the rest of the week. On that day, I'll be able to 'Assault the Jungle' that mimics a the lawn, but I'll certainly need to up my porter count. Keep loosing the poor buggers to some sort of predator. Most likely a mutant ear-wig. On the other predator front, it's my hope that the karate and swimming practice will be more than enough to keep the twins sufficiently suppressed. Perhaps a bit of play-time in the Twin Towers Sandpit will sate their appetite for destruction. I'm thinking of making them steak for dinner one of these nights. Extra rare, like their prey of choice.

2) Trying to sneak out of work early is a bit difficult at my place of employment. You see, the CEO/President for Life has his office situated at the front entrance and the VP of Dev/Wife of CEO is seated at the other servant's entrance which is about 15 meters away from the other. There you go, no other exit. They know when you arrive and leave. Well, at least I think they do. It could be that those are actually really good holograms but there might be cameras monitoring and sending interrupt data to a crafty AI program that makes it appear that they wave at me. They both went to RPI and worked at DEC so it's hard to say. My only alternative is to throw bricks at the window outside my sensory deprivation chamber in hopes of crawling out over the shattered glass. Thus far, this has provided mixed results. I have yet to escape since the bricks hit what appears to be glass but is most likely some sort of anti-aliased carbon string polymer that deflects the brick with radically increased force which then strikes me square between the eyes ... usually resulting in me loosing consciousness. I'm out of work at that time with 'lost time' and giddy vivid waking dreams. It's unfortunate though that the bricks wear down in time from the excessive force that blunt-force trauma brings. Soon enough, my beloved brick can only muster the crushing force of an over-ripe pineapple. Then I only get a bit of dizziness and a goose-egg. No pleasantly numbing sensation as I collapse to the floor. Just uncomfortable swelling and the expense of having to buy a new brick. It is my conclusion that having windows really sucks. So does MS. MS Windows is nearly the worst. Office for MS Windows takes the cake. Or brick. Either way.

3)Karate practice went very well for Alexis this past evening. There was very little hesitance and she did her 'paralyzed with fear and shyness' thing for a bit. One of the Instant Death Karate Instructors noted that she might be left handed because every time they try to teach her a move, she does it backwards. Either she is copying what she sees or her dominant hand is influencing how she performs complex moves. I'm wagering that it's the left handed thing that is going on. Grams also noted that 'Alexis the Angel' prefers to eat with her left as well. I suppose when I'm teaching the Tyrants to write letters, I should ask Big Little Brother for some advice on how to script with the 'devils hand'. He's a brilliant lefty as well. Here I am, stuck with the plain old ordinary right. Beh.

4)As a side note, the Mrs is away so I had to go solo on the dinner/play/bath/bed thing. Tonight, Jake AND Alexis got up multiple times between 2130 and 2230 hours. Alexis figured that since Jake was doing it, she might as well join in on the fun. Our sequence consisted of : Need New Book, Potty, Medicine, and finally a desire to sleep on the couch. Alexis demanded a kiss from mommy so I had to perform a surrogate raspberry.

5)Final FINAL note, traffic was nightmarish this morning. The usual congestion was compounded by a tractor-trailer accident just beyond 309 and a multi-car between 309 and 611 where I get on. Major Bumper-sucking orgy of love and warm feelings. More than I could certainly brook. I ate the extra 15 minutes it would cost me and drove on the surface roads till the slip-line onramp just before 309. I had to grind through a mile or two of the automotive no-mans land, but it was certainly better than the alternative. The worst thing about it is that I was up at 0600 this morning but the kids were not interested in cooperating (since they were up late) and I ended up running about 30 minutes late. Urgh. Mommy-Dooooo, where are youuuuu?

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