White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Late, but here.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Late, but here.

Leaving work early always makes me feel a bit of a naughty boy. Sneaking out with my slingshot in one pocket and a toad in the other like some sort of tussled ruffian. Of course, my delightful romp in the fields alight with the golden rays of the sun is not of my halcyon days of youth. I was to do MORTAL COMBAT on the turnpike so I could meet the electrician at the manor. Not quite the lazy, hazy days of summer I would prefer. It was warm enough though. I say that now knowing that my hubris would be cut to shreds overnight. Dropped to the low 30's don't you know. In any event, I stopped off at the regional Home Depot Temple before heading homeward. Needed to grab a few things: mineral spirits, acetone, phosgene, bar & chain oil, C4 fuel stabilizer oil, grape vines ... an impulse purchase on that last one. Going to plant a couple of seedless grape vines along the fence with the neighbors. We'll have to see if it amounts to anything but you cannot blame me for trying. Nest year, if it all works as planned (read: NOT!), I'll plant a few more and ferment some wine. No?

Met our local electrician at 1515. The 'office' is just up the street so we usually get the appointment 1st thing in the morning or last stop of the day. Works for me. I have a few moments before he arrives so I go about setting up the resources. Ladder, tools, flashlight, etc. Sure, he probably has all this but there is nothing wrong with keeping things moving along. This particular circuit is one of the most confusing and wretched in the whole manor. The gentleman in question started the business years ago, sold it to his son after retiring, got bored and started working for his son and now does occasional work around the area. A really nice guy and quite knowledgeable to boot. He seems to know much more than he lets on as well. Works with the power on till the problem is found. He says that if the current isn't flowing, you really have no chance in finding the problem. He's got a point there but after yesterdays zap, I'm a little gun shy. Looking at his hands, I notice his fingertips are blackened and cracked like baked mud. I think I understand why he does not have the same concerns as I do. After we remove all the outlet covers, switches and light fixtures, he makes a trip into the ATTIC OF ETERNAL CONSUMPTION where he takes a few good lung-full gasps of cruft and immediately starts hacking. This, among other things, is one of the reasons I called an electrician. I've just managed to clear my gas-bags of sputum and every time I go up into the ATTIC OF ETERNAL CONSUMPTION I end up hacking for the next 2-3 days. Even in the winter, it's unbearably hot up there to boot. While up there, he found the issue. Apparently when there was a little home improvement going one, some brilliant engineer used a bit of tape to keep a splice together instead of a junction box and wire-nuts. ARGH. After a dozen years, the tape cooked off and the wires grounded out. Took a couple minutes to fix and he was out of there by 1630. He said his son will bill me later. Well worth every penny in my book.

This morning, traffic was absolutely horrible. Why? A car wreck? Construction? Alien Invasion? No, snow flurries. People, we need to get a grip out there. I only found one incident that should have been a problem and that was a duck sitting, really sitting, in the middle of one of the surface roads I travel. It caused a fraction of a second since everyone was driving around the duck and a man was waiting off to the side to escort the stricken fowl out of danger's path. I would have done the same if there was not a vehicle three feet from my bumper. Poor thing was probably in shock from the 40 degree drop in temperatures.

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