White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Fates Revealed

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Fates Revealed

Stimulus: Jake has an unrelenting desire to sleep with Mommy and Daddy MDMHVONPA; Response: He comes up with increasingly creative and diabolical means by which to achieve fulfillment of said desire. He tried at least twice early on in the evening to get a slice of the Platform of Irresistible Slumber, but was rebuffed the first two times. The first bit of creative fiction was that his elbow hurt. Later on we found that it was actually swollen. Either an infection from scratching or an insect bite. The second assault came as a complaint that the batteries in his flashlight were dying. While the Mrs and I went about replacing the batteries, he jumped into our bed and turned on the TV. He knows how to use the remote. The little red button turns it on. Intuitively obvious and left to the observer as a mental exercise. Of course, the channel last on is typically 22 or 98. Cartoon Network or Disney respectively. He has not figured out how to break the VChip programming and get to the interesting programs on ShowTime or CineMax. After I physically exported his little butt back to his bed and tucked him in, he was done for. Well, at least till 0330 the next morning. He came bouncing in knowing full well at that time of the morning we would not have the wits about us to do in the way of behavior modification. Clever little punk.

A bit later in the morning, 0530 to be specific, Alexis came into the room and wedged herself in which left me with roughly 3 inches on the edge of the mattress. On her way in, doors were slammed and the hounds took this as a signal to start their moaning and complaining. Potty time, you know. There is only so much discomfort I'll tolerate before I abandon my sleeping endeavors and there was more than enough to share. It was time to get going even though my body was still tired from 'swimming' with the Tyrants last night. Speaking of submariner training, the last class was conducted and the new Director was in attendance. The Mrs was pleased to see that there were TWO instructors this time and that Alexis had made nice with the Dimitri the Bearded Abomination. It helped that I was in the pool and helped her make the adjustment from "Jumping on Daddy's head" to "Jumping on Dimitri's head". Whatever it takes. After a little tete a tete between the Mrs and the New Director, information was revealed and we have signed up for another set of classes. This time, though, there will be two classes a week for 4 weeks and there are specific goals for each class level. Red Cross standards are to be applied. Everyone is happy including myself. The classes are at 1745 on Tuesday and Thursday which leaves M/W/F open for martial arts as proposed. The kids tested out of Level One and could have tested out of Level Two as well if they knew how to recognize a drowning swimmer and to not laugh at them. They might be able to pass the 'life preserver' test as well given that they learned to swim in a flotation vest. Precognizant of us, eh?

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