White Lightning Axiom: Redux: urk v2.5

Thursday, February 23, 2006


urk v2.5

Busy, busy, busy. Yep, a spare moment in my life is a moment gone to waste. That whole 'cool your heels' thing is a SIN I tell ya'! And sleep? Gotta work on getting a law against that stuff. Perhaps one of the Socialist Party members would take it up. Ya think? Speaking of floating a trial bubble, the kids did quite well at the swim lessons last night ... that I gave them. Since lessons have magically transformed to 1800 hours on Monday, I'll probably take them to the pool on Wednesday nights myself just to break up the week a little bit. They seemed to enjoy chasing me about the pool and going under water seems to have significantly more appeal now that they know to hold their breath. We were in the drink from 1720 till about 1810. Right about then I gave up on the Mrs showing up and assumed that either she was pinned down at work by hostile fire or she was busy monitoring some domestic phone calls ... or enticing information out of a reluctant subject. Either way, she did show up just as I finished changing the Twin Tyrants and myself out of our wet SCUBA gear and packing away the test underwater C4 fuses. Excuse: I forgot to tell her that I was bringing them weather there were lessons or not. Sheesh! Nearly 10 years of wedded bliss and she still cannot predict my fickle ways.

The night out at Fuji started on an interesting note. As we arrived, so did our neighbors along with their children and grandchildren. He was over-joyed to see me after the great battle of the chipper-shredder. You see, BigLittleBrother went about collecting some downed branches from his front yard to throw in along with all my scraps. Given this, and the fact that we hauled a massive heap of machinery across the swampy grounds of the Haupertonain Manor, he was quite thrilled to the point that he grasped me and planted a big old kiss on my cheek. Yeah, not what I expected out of a Vietnam Vet either. He is a surly dude and is a president of a fairly successful company. All decked out in his fur coat, it was a rather surreal situation. Fortunately, they were headed over to the Hibachi grill and we were going to sit at a regular table. Just when you think you had someone figured out, they toss a curve ball covered with a goober at ya. Given that Jake put on another "I'm not going to eat" performance, it was all for the best. That little twerp managed to throw me off my game again. Perhaps tonight, when it is pizza night, things will work out between us.

Back at the manor, we bathe the kids and toss them in bed. I'm completely spent, but neurotically watch TV into the late hours of the evening. Why? Why, why, why. I should take the TV out of the bedroom just to save me from myself. I was watching stupid stuff to boot. Futurama, One Piece, South Park. Yeah, greatly explaining my mental capacity and enriching my cultural inner self. I should hook up a stationary bicycle to a power dynamo so that I have to exercise while I watch. That'll put a quick end to my 'Grand Waste of Time' addiction. Or some sort of lock set on the armour that automatically closes it after a certain hour. Yeah ... I see a market opportunity here.

Woke up with nausea this morning. Think I may be pregnant. No, wait ... it's a virus or infection. Probably the same one that Jake is fighting off and having such a hard time with. Nausea, not hungry ... ummm. Crap, I owe him an apology. No really, if he felt half as awful as I did I can understand why the mere thought of food would turn you off. It's pizza tonight so if he is still sporting a sour gut, it'll be quite evident. The kid never turns his nose up on the cheesy goodness on a crust.

The commute this morning ... sucked massive whale balls. Big time. A semi-truck stalled in the ONLY ezpass-only lane at my turnpike entrance and caused a major backup. Since I was busy shaking my fist and blurting out the most eloquent of salty words, I neglected to wave my ezpass transponder and did not get a data-read green light. Ooops. On top of that, the Mrs called as I was getting off the tpk and I missed the end-point read. There is no chance they will be able to figure out it was my account since the car plates do not match my record. I'll have to contact them or they will send a bill to Enterprise Car Rental. Funny thing, the tolls are $1.50 if you do not use ezpass and 1.10 if you do. I found this out since I forgot my pass on Tuesday. I miss my SuperSaturn. Not only for the fall-back should the pass not be read, but the mileage that I'm getting is ATROCIOUS. I had a half tank on Tuesday and it was bone dry this morning. Had to stop at the turnpike rip-off plaza to refill after the 'you're shit out of luck buddy' fuel light came on at the Mid-County interchange. It only holds 13 gallons .... so a little math tells me that I'm getting about 15.4 mpg. ACK! No wonder it felt so wonderful to drive ... it was screwing me broke. So much for my auto-lieben.

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