White Lightning Axiom: Redux

For a Wednesday, it sure was a slice of fun jam packed with activity. The kids had missed their usual swim lesson last Saturday. Something about being 300 miles away or something. We went to the make-up session held at 1800 on Wednesday evenings. Trying to pound my way through traffic during rush-hour triples the time it takes to get to the club. It's sad when even the suburban roads are packed curb-to-curb with rage induced screeches. Everyone is looking for that secluded residential road that they can go full tilt on. Micro-Autobahn ... except for us residents who have to live in fear of someone blasting through our yard when they loose control. This happened once a few years back. Woman lost control and slammed into one of the pine trees I cut down after mowing down two large bushes, the chain link fence and a 30 foot evergreen juniper.

We manage to make it to the swim club in spite of the post-apocalyptic nuclear nightmare that fronts as Pennsyltucky traffic management. I rip the clothing off the kids and wrap them in their swim-suits and flotation vests in record time. They are excited to be at the pool, and who can blame them. There are two monster pools, indoors, heated to bath-water temperature. They jump right in and start harassing the elderly who use the facilities to conduct their simulated exercise regimen. It's only 1740 so they get a good 20 minutes of taunting in. 'Look at me, I'm only 3 and I'm swimming around you like a dolphin about a foundered oil tanker'. So the lessons are about 30 minutes. Over the next 50 minutes, the kids insist that they need to go pee. Jacob three times, Alexis only once. Yes, they are wearing swim diapers too. It must be the warm water. In spite of getting in and out of the pool (BTW: Trying to get wet float vests, swim trunks and swim diapers off and on is a trying endeavor) they had a good time and did quite well. Jake is starting to learn how to do the back stroke like a champ. Future Merman/Aquaman in training. Or a SEAL.

Afterwards, it was late so we went to the Japanese Hibachi restaurant up the street and prayed that the kids would be somewhat manageable. For some odd reason, they were about as well behaved as ever. It must have been the ravenous hunger that clouded their usually violent and hostile minds. That or the fact that Jake once again had to go to the bathroom twice. I swear he extracts water directly from the air into his bladder since he always produces SOMETHING when on the toilet. The meal was great. It turns out that the kids have a leaning towards Edamame (Salted soy beans in the pod) and really enjoy Udon noodles. The Mrs had some fried soft tofu and pot-stickers. I, being the sushi pig that I am, ordered marinated beef Negimaki rolls, Seaweed Salad, Miso Soup, One Green Tea Martini, ate the 3 other miso soup, the 3 other house salads with ginger dressing and the Love Boat Sushi Feast ... Deluxe. I would make a snorting piggy noise but I am afraid that some air might find it's way to my stomach and I would certainly explode. It was not too crowded so I did not feel too bad about the occasional outbursts from the twins. Additionally, after racking up a $130 bill, the owner was quite thrilled with the kids. He came over and talked to us for a bit ... the kids charmed the pants off him. I guess the in spite of not having a paying job, the kids do pull their weight in other way. PR Representatives for the Haupertonain Empire.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 9:02 PM