White Lightning Axiom: Redux

The next time this happens, it's going to be a blizzard. I left the client site yesterday at about 1615 hours. They had been predicting that it was going to rain that evening for some time now and I had no doubt about the efficacy of their predictions. When I sauntered out the 'service entrance', I saw it. I giant black line of roiling clouds slowly consuming the sun and sky. Little drops of rain were being carried on the winds from the head of the storm and I knew it was going to be pouring buckets soon. I jumped in the SuperSaturn and raced away, determined to make it over the turnpike and to the manor before the whole damn sky opened up on me. It seemed as though everyone else on the Turnpike had the same actions planned. Get home ASAP before the place became a parkinglot. The minute a drop of water hits the asphalt, every car grinds to a complete halt. It's an engineered result, I tell you. I nervously watched the thunderheads descend and spread like a giant metastasizing cancer. It was hard to keep my attention on the road so I ended up with one foot on the brakes and one on the metastasizing. The Brown-Grey cloud would boil and grow right before my eyes. At one point, I managed to get ahead of it as it tacked North-East around the bluffs and hills of NE Philly, but I was doomed to loose the race. The wind was stripping the last of the leaves from the trees and sending them into whirling vortexes on the road. Just as one car or truck would blast them apart, they would reform in a second and obscure the vision for the driver behind. Within minutes, the sun winked out as if the forces of nature slid a giant slab over a sarcophagus. All the roadside lights started to flutter to life in a feeble attempt to extend the dying light of dusk.

When I got to my exit, the convolutions and backup cost me the critical seconds that I needed to get to the security of the manor before hot-rain started pelting me. Fortunately, the traffic on the local surface roads is awful no matter what the weather so I was not stuck in a blight of traffic all night. Not only did I need to let the hounds out, but we had planned to take the kids to a make-up swim lesson at 1800 hours. Since we are going to be gone from Saturday till the following week's Sunday, we were going to miss 2 lessons. We can manage that, but letting the dogs out in the rain is not a task to take lightly. You see, even though they are Labs, they are not happy about trying to go potty in the rain. I'm not happy about it either, it takes all damn night for them to get down to the task at hand. Much gnashing of teeth and wailing was to be heard. Dry them off, let them in, tell them to be good and leave a few snacks. With that 'behind' me, I run off to conduct an S&R mission for the Twin Tyrants and zip off to the Swim Club. Well, not exactly zip but plod or trek. Traffic was awful, congested and slow. The Mrs was already there by the time I made it and we hustled the kids in and got them changed as quickly as possible. As it turns out, Mrs Wilda was teaching the class and the kids ADORE her. Jacob now puts his head under water and will swim on his back if she asks him too. Their ability to swim is getting so much better, but we are still not going to toss them in the Delaware river to see if they can make it to the other side. No, just the knowledge that they won't panic when they find themselves in a bit of water is enough for me. For now. We'll talk to the bio-boys later about those genetic retro-virus gills that they have been crowing about.

After swim-time was over, the Mrs and Crew went over to Applebees for a dinner out while I took off to replenish the fuel supplies. Only 2.18/gal at Wawa on Gasseteria row is not too bad, but I'm still waiting for sub-two dollar gas on this side of the state line. Of course, I miss the days of 0.80$ ... but that is long gone. 25,000 gallons later an 30 minutes pass before I get to the punch-press eatery with fake ferns and mass produced memorabilia. The Mrs is just getting seated so I'm guessing she is exhausted from keeping the kids under control. Of course, the minute we sit down the kids want to go to the bathroom. She takes them in shifts while I detain the other. Before this, the Mrs lets the wait-person know that we are in the last minutes of the time window before the kids switch over to AutoDestruct personality and we place orders for them ASAP. Smart move. The Mrs is pretty sharp when it comes to sanity preservation. Later on, I order some tiny brown blob they called a steak and a 5 gallon beer. Hmmm, the beer substitute is kind of fruity, but cold. Later on, I order a vodka martini which I learn is actually ammonia with spritz of bile. It was horrid. Worst ever. And yes, I drank it anyways. I DO NOT have a problem. Hush. After we got the kids to eat a good portion of the dinner, we were off to the manor where I would quickly crash. Wednesdays are supposed to be dull dammit.

This morning was nice. Got up a bit late, but the Tiny Twin Tyrants of Turpitude were cooperative and did not try to rip our larynx' out. The sky was clear but the air was quite cold. This ensured that many of the other denizens of the turnpike would be getting a late start. You know, it's cold and dark so you roll over for another 15 minutes of sleep. That kind of thing. The temperature was supposed to get down to 40, but I heard that it was below freezing in outlying areas. Ahhh, the winter of freezing rain might be upon us soon than expected!

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 7:59 AM