White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Toni at My View, tagged me on Sunday.

Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. Get my kids through college
2. Finish all the pet projects I've started on the House.
3. Grow the perfect garden
4. Get off the Energy grid (i.e. become a producer not a consumer)
5. Travel in space.
6. Become closer to God (He's pissed at me right now)
7. Be a grandfather and spoil the daylights out of them!

Seven things I can do:
1. Touch my nose with my tongue.
2. Eat a 120 oz cowboy ribeye steak
3. Make my children laugh no matter what mood they are in.
4. Change the oil, filters and soon, breaks in the family cars.
5. Eat things that would make a billy-goat puke.
6. Amuse the Mrs
7. Be a Great Parent.

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Abandon the Family
2. Tolerate Race-Baiters
3. Tolerate High Humidity & Temperatures
4. Get lost without loosing my temper
5. Eat just one chip.
6. Pay my taxes without loosing my temper.
7. Tolerate clutter.

Seven things I say a lot :
1. No, no, NO!
2. Jacob/Alexis, Eat your dinner.
3. Mrs MDMHVONPA .....
4. PICKLES!
5. I'm hungry.
6. Ohhh, that's no good.
7. Do you smell something?

Seven things I find attractive in a feMale (this is a fluid list):
1. Organization
2. Sense of humor
3. Long Black hair.
4. Rational Behavior
5. Physical Strength.
6. Ummm ... boobs? That's always good.
7. Consistency.

Seven celebrity crushes? Hmm.... this could be trouble.
1. Mary Steenburgen (Damn that Ted Danson)
2. Tia Carrera
3. Angela Jolie (Yeah, she's psycho, so what?)
4. Kelly Hu
5. Jennifer Connelly
6. Jessica Marie Alba (Too damn young)
7. Jane Seymour (The quintessential Super-Mom)

Seven people who have nothing better to do than to get tagged:
1. Alex at Pstupidonymous
2. Steel at The Steel Deal
3. Lei at Cotton-Pickin' Days
4. MaidInk at Life, Family, et al
5. Dave at Ms not just a diary
6. Pat at Out of the Frying Pan
7. Amanda at My complications