White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Avast! Friday off the port bow!

Friday, August 12, 2005


Avast! Friday off the port bow!

Lets see here ... fabulous events of yesterday ... Hmmm. Ok, It was pizza night so the kids were compliant about the whole 'Eat your damn dinner' directive and proclamation. The interesting thing about the pizza is the shop. I've been picking up a regular pizza with extra cheese for nearly a year now. Every Thursday at 1715 ... sharp. The guy at the pickup counter is apparently an 'owner' or sorts. Young kid, really. He knows who I am and what I'm there for. Knows me by name. Pretty good pizza and decent folk. Since I'm such a regular guy and drop a little over 10$ a week for a pie, he gave me a 2 liter bottle of soda on the house. Just because. Now, I know a 2 liter bottle of sugar water costs him all of 75 cents. Almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Heck, I drop over 2$ every day for the privilege of sitting in construction traffic every day on the turnpike. I burn over 5$ in gasoline to go back and forth from work. But I digress. It was the thought that counts. It's quite nice to actually start to put down some roots in the neighborhood now that I've been living in the Manor for over 8 years now. Maybe it might be time to start joining some of the local community groups ... or get elected to one of the township boards. Now wouldn't that be a hoot.

Later on in the night, we were playing with the kids when the usual potty training setback occurred. While we were escorting Alexis to one of the local waste repositories, Jake unleashed the firehose in his underwear and managed to get nearly every stitch of clothing on his body saturated. I'm not sure where all this fluid comes from. He must have a secret stash of hydration composites somewhere in the play room that he imbides when we are not looking. Kinda reminds me of 'Strange Brew' when Bob pees out the fire at the Elsinore Mansion. Yep, that's my boy. SOooo, we haul him upstairs to get him a change of clothing and he insists that he needs a bath now. Of course, so would I if I were him. This is the first time that he has turned down play-time though. I guess it is just the lure of playing in water that bent his will. No matter, we are happy to oblige if it gives us the opportunity to sack-out earlier. Well, just because they are ready for bed means little to them when it comes to actually GOING to sleep. For the next hour, we took turns at chasing the kids back into their room or hunting them down in other rooms other than their own. At one time I heard a 'off-hook' signal from the phone buzzing away. Upon investigation, I found both of them in Alexis's bed with the wireless phone. Somehow, Jake had crawled on top of the dresser (it stands 5 feet tall) and snatched the phone out of its base charger. We use it to monitor them when we are not near the baby monitor in the kitchen or Master suite. In the end, they finally dozed off at 2115ish and the Mrs and I got to watch a show she likes: "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". A fairly twisted show, but whatever makes her happy. Makes us feel so much better about our own lives, you know.

The next morning arrived for us at 0500 sharp ... when Jacob woke up and insisted that we let him resume his sleep in our bed. Fine, one hour of not-so-restful sleep will not kill me. Besides, we will be having another 'Swim Party From Hell' event this weekend so I'll need to store up as much energy as possible. I'll be mowing the lawn on Sunday again. I can just tell already. The upside of sending the kids to 'bed' early is that Alexis gets enough sleep. If I have to wake her up myself, she turns into a little harpy or a minor Medusa. If she wakes on her own, she'll just lay there till you play revelry. Then she is a little ball of sunshine and rainbows. Go figure, she is just like the Mrs. I've learned that trying to wake the Mrs before she is absolutely ready to get up is a death-wish. I can show you scars man, SCARS!

Okay, it's Friday. The code at work is in order. I'm on the road before traffic becomes untenable. Everything is going so well ... except for the heat. And the dizziness ... and the headache. Can you hear the tiny violins?


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