White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Alexis Von BugBane, Slayer of Insects

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Alexis Von BugBane, Slayer of Insects

Another day of hard-fought gains in the battle against monotony. The esoteric machinations of software development professionals become rather predictable after some time. Like passing rows of drab grey Mao Coats at a PRC clothing outlet, nothing really jumps out at you and says "Hey, I'm new and exciting!". Of course, being uneventful can be rewarding too.

The muggy afternoon had a little surprise in store for me. Shortly after arriving at the Manor, the skies started to darken and become ominous. I paid keen attention to this knowing the fickle weather patterns of SE Pennsyltucky in the early summer are not to be trifled with. One of the more important tasks in the 'after-work' hours is the daily release of the hounds ... and the inevitable cleanup. This time, however, they were troubled by the sudden drop in barometric pressure and were behaving oddly. The damn quisling dogs would not poop. They were delaying me till the onslaught of rain would come and wet me to the bone. Just as Thor finally finished his 100 cycle spin before relieving himself, the first warm dollops of acid rain began to fall. This was quickly followed by several claps of thunder and blinding flashes of atmospheric static discharge. The vanguard raindrops were soon backed up by sheets of heavy precipitation. I still have to go on the evening S&R mission to extract the twins and the Mrs will be home late tonight. No help there. Damn dogs.

Every day, the Mrs, the kids and I go over their day to see how well they remember things. Like their lessons and if they had any ethical/moral dilemmas. Like not pushing over your sibling or hitting your classmates. Most of the time, it's Alexis ratting out her brother or describing the damage they did to the flora and fauna in the playground. Apparently they had some encounters with insects today. She was very explicit about the engagements she had with them.

"How many bugs, hon?"
"Really? What were they?" I asked knowing that she only knows the names of a few bugs.
"Snake, caterpillar, spider, and ants and bumble bee and ladybug!" She quipped, "They scared me."
"Oh yeah? What did you do then?"
"I throw mulch on them."
"Okay, so what about tomorrow, will they still be there?", I queried.
She thought for a moment and asserted her position,"I throw much on them again!"
I suppose that I'll hear a similar story this evening when asked. We should see if the USAF has considered a mulch-bomb as part of their armament inventory.

The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates ... Indeed.


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