White Lightning Axiom: Redux

The weekend is over, and not a moment too soon. Our Saturday morning started at 0200 when Jake woke up and commenced his pleading for Daddy to come and get him. He was apparently very itchy and needed some soothing. Mommy changed his clothing, wiped him down and gave him a good dose of 'Mommy-Medicine' so that he would drift back to his usual fitful slumber. Bracketed by the equally fitful bodies of the Mrs and myself, he bounce back and forth like a little flesh pinball between the bumpers of the Mile Wide Water Bed. And this little pin-ball has some pretty pointy elbows to boot. This was not entirely conducive to the Bumpers getting enough rest for the coming morning activities. We had swim lessons, which will be wrapping up soon. Since we were a wake early (Alexis was fraught with angst that she was not in the master suite as well), we got suited up and headed off to spend a little pre-lesson time in the pool. I've noticed that Jake is not all too interested in floating on his back. More so than Alexis. I guess the repeated ear infections have made him a little sensitive about having water in his canals. I really cannot blame the guy since it took me a long time to float on my back. He'll do it in the bath tub, but not in the pool. I'm thinking that this is a trust thing and he isn't quite sure what we have up our sleeves when we are telling him to do something this 'unnatural'. He is even hesitant about jumping into the pool from the side. We'll have to work on that.

The Saturday Morning Perkins Pancake breakfast went well. We ordered as we were seated and the food came out nearly immediately. In and out in less than 30 minutes. Perfect. I love that place, the Mrs was so correct in suggesting that we switch from IHOP. Cleaner, better food, crayons for the kids, closer. Oh, and balloons for the asking. I suppose we could have pancakes and such at home, but this is for the kids. A kind of 'tradition' on Saturdays after swimming. Alexis even asks about it now so I think may have succeeded in my mission.

The new BJ's just opened up (Near the Barber shop, IHOP, Lowes, Target ... where Wegmans is going in) and we will be visiting them weekly now since they have a member discount program for gasoline. Yep, just scan your member card and top off. We'll take the Family Tank since it has such a voluminous capacity. It uses gasoline to get the fission plant going, you know. Have to drive the main plasma gun off of that ... and the magnetic repulse shields take a bit of juice too. It breaks my heart when I pump 45$ a week into that thing. I think of the amount that goes to PA taxes, to OPEC, to Wahabist Madrasas .... argh. If only there were a domestic bio-diesel hybrid vehicle .. if only wishes were pennies.

We stopped of at Lowes on the way back home and picked up 4 small rock-climbing attachments for the Twin AAA Towers. This will keep the kids from leaping/falling from the 5 foot perch and potentially hurting themselves. No, the will now be able to climb up 10 feet and leap to their doom. Alexis also saw a couple of 'pink' flowers that she just had to have. We got those too. While I was there, I felt the urge to expel some solid waste in the local facilities instead of trying to hold it in till we got back to the manor. Of course, noticing that I was going off the men's room, Alexis voiced her interest in using the bathroom as well. Great. She finally gets the urge and we are at a place where I would not feel quite right about sitting on the toilets myself. Someone told me that this would happen, I guess we will start to haul a kiddy potty seat around too. We got out of there as quickly as possible since we were going to try to get to the Swim Club picnic at noon. If need be, we could change Alexis once we got there and put the toxic bio-contaminated diaper in a hermetically sealed retention bin. Oddly enough, Jake fouled our plans by falling asleep on the way over. This is where the true level of deception and machination that our son has acquired shows. We get back to the Manor and begin to disembark. The Mrs conveys Jake up to the nursery to lay him down for a good 2-4 hour nap. He must be tired since he got up in the middle of the night. God knows that the Mrs and I are exhausted. Within 5 minutes he is up and scampering about the upper floors. "Nope, not tired at all, had a nap in the car, lets go play, I refuse to sleep." His bright eyed frolicking leads us to believe that he is hiding crack or meth in his toddler bed. The dogs find nothing but some small arms and a defunct suitcase nuke. It's too late for the picnic the Mrs devises other distractions while I go about mowing the lawn. The day was long and tedious. Jake was a whirling dervish while Alexis showed us repeatedly that redefining the word 'cranky' is an incremental task for her with many substantive data points along the way.

The kids were up quite early on Sunday morning. Well, early to us since they insisted on going to bed at an absurdly late hour. Their toddler kung-fu attitude powers are strong. After we do our morning routine for Sunday, the Mrs roars off to BJ's again to entertain the kids and return some VCR mag tapes that she paid too much for. The BJ's grand opening event was still going on and there were caterers in tuxedos proffering goodies as well as clowns making balloon animals. When we visited the previous day, there seemed to be more proctoring staff than patrons in the establishment. While she was off showing the children that the consumerism of Disney is no different than the consumerism of BJ's, I focused on making progress in the West Wall. The Uncompensated workers are starting to grumble that the project now entering it's 1 year anniversary is becoming endless. I am getting a bit nervous about a potential revolt. The reassurance that the end is neigh seems to carry some weight as the wall progresses quickly and our block stock suddenly runs dry. Ahh, it looks like another visit to the Home Depot Temple may be in the works. I'll need to pick up the tarps for the roofs as well as several pressure treated 2x4 to attach the rock-wall scaling equipment. By the end of the day, both the kids and I are exhausted. A whole weekend without naps can do that to a soul. Perhaps the kids will learn the value of a good nap. I'm a full fledged convert.