White Lightning Axiom: Redux: just ... about ... there

Thursday, May 12, 2005

 

just ... about ... there

I was hoping for yet another mundane, melancholy day. I've been denied. I got up to let the dogs out only to find that Katie has determined that my erratic schedule has given her license to create a new great lake on the tile floor. Say hello to 'Lake Urine'. I suppose I should have let her out after 2100 last night, but I was ready for bed. Now I have 400 square miles of cold dog piss to mop up. Great. The hounds had the good sense to NOT dance in it when I came down though. Small blessings.

It was starting to rain and that could only mean one thing for me, a bumper sucking love fest was planned for the PA Turnpike. But wait! There's more. The sink-hole that the wonderful highway crews had purportedly fixed last month at the KOP exit had risen from the grave and now required that both of the lanes be closed. On top of that, there is a big led sign after the 309 exit that warned everyone of it. Soooo, everyone stopped, in the middle of the road, to read the damn sign. With the construction after the mid-county exit, the whole damn 15 miles was a slow-moving orgy of fury and cursing. By the time I got to the Mid-County exit, I had my fill of bile and chose to go the other route. I could get off the turnpike, go DOWN the Blue Route and then back up on Schuylkill Expressway to get to the same place but avoid the rest of the mess. Oh, I am so clever, so smart, so wise. Dumbass. Both 476 (Blue Route) and 76 (Schuylkill Expressway) were equally fouled up by all the other members of the brain trust who were doing the same thing as I. Nothing like spending 75 minutes with the worst face of humanity snarling back at you. That study showing that Philly traffic is getting better? Rubbish.

Final parting gripe: The office has been extremely hot the last few days so I've dressed cooler today in order to keep some of my bodily fluids from bursting out of my sweat glands. They fixed the AC late yesterday and ice is forming on the keyboard. If anyone finds my desiccated, freeze dried body still seated in the sensory isolation chamber, tell the wife and kids I love them and bring me some thermal underwear. Thnx.


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