White Lightning Axiom: Redux

I've been tagged by Toni to participate in my first meme. The rule is that I'm supposed to select 5 occupations and describe them as they would apply to me. The jobs come from a list (shown below) and then coerce 3 other people to do the same. The 3 others are supposed to be actual bloggers and not one of my many alternate personalities. Darn. The categories are as follows:

If I could be a scientist ... If I could be a farmer ... If I could be a musician ... If I could be a doctor ... If I could be a painter ... If I could be a gardener ... If I could be a missionary ... If I could be a chef ... If I could be an architect ... If I could be a linguist ... If I could be a psychologist ... If I could be a librarian ... If I could be an athlete ... If I could be a lawyer ... If I could be an inn-keeper ... If I could be a professor ... If I could be a writer ... If I could be a llama-rider ... If I could be a bonnie pirate ... If I could be an astronaut ... If I could be a world famous blogger ... If I could be a justice on any one court in the world ... If I could be married to any current famous political figure ...

Hmmm, I'll go with chef, farmer, and doctor. Mostly due to my predilection with not being too extroverted I suppose.

If I could be a chef ... I would not have a menu that is consistent from day to day. It would be based on what was the best product I could find in the markets that I would troll daily with my legion of cheffettes armed with butcher knives and tenderizers. We would patrol the grocery stores and farmers markets to find the best of the best and then in our spare time mete out justice and vengeance to those who would prey on the meek and innocent. Ever think about the damage a meat cleaver and tenderizer could do?

If I could be a farmer ... I would work with a group of industrialists to help me find a way to make farming less destructive to the land and more productive in countries that need it. Many genetic strains of grain have been developed to produce greater yields but it has not gone far enough. I would plod along my fields tending the vast array of genetically altered crops that would survive in deserts and tundra and yet, produce tasty, nutritious and abundant food sources. It would be a test bed for the new generation of farmers who would never have to worry about irrigation, pesticides or fertilizer ever again. The family farm would grow in popularity as the ease and reduced cost of farming came to fruition through the efforts borne of the labor by my hands.

If I could be a doctor ... I would cure MS ... dammit.

As for my next victims? Heh, I think I know some superlative bloggers who might take the bait! I'm going to ping Lei the Cotton Picker, Barrie the Dog Sitter, and reBecca the Librarian. Go get'em gals.