White Lightning Axiom: Redux

It's Easter morning. A holy morning and one that will be filled with candies and eggs for the kids. The kids are quick to pick up on the 'egg hunt'. Jake likes to open the eggs immediately (bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush) while Alexis seeks out as many targets as possible and enlists the help of Grandma to carry the overflowing basket. We had held off on hiding the eggs with candy in them so we could avoid the prospect of the Hounds getting at them. The candy filled eggs were a bit larger, and thus, much easier to spot. Kinda like hiding a bison behind a bunny. They found nearly all the eggs within a nano-second and proceed to devour all the fruit snacks and jelly beans. We were fairly certain that they were going to explode from either the excessive gorging or the resultant sugar high. For good measure, Jake wolfed down most of a large (but thankfully hollow) chocolate egg. Sunday Mass was destined to be interesting.

We left early enough to arrive nearly 30 minutes before mass started. We figured that it would be crowded even if the 0900 schedule was much too early for your standard 'Holy Day Catholic'. No, the 1100 mass is more their style. Even then, it started to look like a mob scene rave with hordes of latecomers packed into the rear of the cathedral. We saved a seat for my brother who arrived shortly after we did resulting in us taking up most of a pew along with the security detail and surveillance team. Can't be too careful, even in a place of worship. Big Little Brother works the night shift so he was feeling a bit groggy. The kids made sure that he did not nod off during the sermon which was mostly a nice little Irish joke. The sugar high that the kids were riding was awfully tame. They were active, but not loud or disrespectful. It must be the 'Grandparent Effect'. Someone ought to do some research on this.

Back at the outpost, we find the Mrs who stayed home busy with re-packing the 150 metric tons of cargo. I'll need to transfer it into the non-passenger section of the Family Tank which is always an adventure in packing science. We put the hounds out on the back deck so they would not be sniffing around me as I run in and out of the house. They could only get in the way and end up tripping the Heavy Industrial Grappling Mech and sending it crashing to the ground with myself strapped inside. So they ended up running back and forth the entire perimeter length of the fraction of an acre that the deck footprint covers. Usually barking at deer or squirrels running across the back yard. Mostly ineffectual and the squirrels seem to enjoy the consternation that they cause. One of these times I'll let the dogs off the deck and see how fast/far/high them little rodents can go.

I try one of the energy drinks that I got at the Asian Market (Of infinitely obscure products) and find that it must have been made with Yak Turds and Turpentine. It is awful. Worse than awful. So bad that I can only drink 50% of the 100ml bottle. Well, I learned something new from that: If you are expecting something tasty from the land of fermented kim-che, gird you loins and don't eat anything for an hour before. While I am busy trying to brush my mouth out with lye and ammonia, the kids preoccupy themselves with putting stickers on the eggs that they had artfully tinted the other day. They only dropped one egg this time, but we patched it up by covering the entire thing with stickers. Look mom, no cracks! Grams and Gramps want to hold on to the decorated eggs so they put a dozen of the 'plain' eggs in a container and request that I take them with us when we leave. Well, at least I'll have something to annoy my co-workers with. No, not that. The by product will not be vented in my cube. The cracking of shells, of course. While I supervise the stickering of the hard boiled ovals, Super mom rustles up a dinner that is sufficient to feed the 1st Army Infantry twice over. Ham and all the fixings. While Super-Chef-Mom stirs the pot of chuck-wagon beans, Gramps and I take the kids/hounds out for a drag around the block: Grams pulls the wagon, I attempt to restrain the dogs. Only one circuit this time, we have our gaze leveled on the prize at the end of the walk -- Easter dinner.

We all sit down for the meal and dig into the infinitely long spread laid out before us. Ham, asparagus, scalloped tatters, beans, salad. It's all good. Alexis dives into the ham and puts a good dent in her setting as well as sampling a spear of asparagus. I'm surprised that she ate it, but she only wanted one. I remember hunting spears in the spring with my parents along the wooded shores of the Mississippi in my youth. It was certainly a treat then and the commercially bought product these days just cannot compare. Perhaps it is the refinement of my memories that it tasted better, but whatever the reason I still miss that. I come back to reality and look at the time. It is nearing 1500 and we need to get going. We eat at such an early hour so we can get going at a reasonable hour. The Mrs does not like the night trips and needs some time to unwind/unpack when we get home. We get home in just under 4 hours after only one stop in Allentown. It was raining after the tunnel and it had gotten very dark, very early. The darkness, the rain slicked roads and the erratic driving behavior of my fellow automotive pilots makes that last hour a bit tenuous. The kids slept for a good two hours after we got to the State border and woke up only when we stopped at Allentown. Alexis demanded that we get chicken nuggets but Jake was satisfied to have some fries from the Nathans Hotdog stand. I got myself a chilli cheese dog to keep me going. Since Alexis was so adamant that she needed chicken nuggets, we stopped at the McLardo's near the Manor to get a few for her which she promptly devoured. After disembarking at the Manor and unloading the cargo/livestock/kids, we played with the kids till 2100 and then sent them off to bed after a bath. Not a bad drive back, all things considered. And for the final rating for the whole weekend, I'd give it a 95/100. Lots of good surprises, very few bad. Like I said earlier, someone needs to look into this 'Grandparent Effect' and try to bottle it.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 9:27 PM