White Lightning Axiom: Redux

It's 1600 and I need to get out of dodge quickly since the snow looks like it is not going to let up. I can only assume that the traffic will be nightmarish. My assumptions were unfounded. It seems that since many of the schools were either closed or had early dismissal, many of the commuters were already tucked safely away in their peasant domiciles. Even at 60mph, it only took me 45 minutes to make it back to the Haupertonian Manor. The sun still had not set so there was sufficient light left in the day. The Mrs and I made the tactical decision that we could take out the sleds that the Grandparents of Infinite Adoration had left behind and play outside with the kids for a little while. It was all that it could be and more. We battled against the polar winds till we reached the end of the block, and then retraced the footprints of the Donner party till finally arriving at the flag left behind from the Clark Expedition. Upon arriving back at the Manor, we made a few circuits in the front lawn until the sled dogs (me) became exhausted and it was time to call off the Great Haupertonian Transect Excursion. As for the twins, they had eaten their fill of snow so there was no complaints about the brevity of our outside time.

We played for a while inside until there was a disaster of unparalleled proportions. The twins were filled with a bit of the devil after coming in from the cold. Alexis was keen on looking out the back window so that she could watch the snow descend on the wood pile and instructed that I should fulfill her request immediately under pain of screech. While I was moving some of the post-industrial Modern impressionist dining room chairs to the blast-proof windows, Jake noticed what I was doing and came blasting into the Grand Dining Room at top speed. At molecule smashing velocity, he lost control due to gravitational pull and interference by Anti-EMP device we have running in basement level 5Y. The course alteration caused him to loose his bearings and consequentially, he slammed right into the jagged (but beveled) edge of our 10 ton glass formal dining room table. Down he goes with a thundering WHUMP. It takes him a second, but the silent roar of pain begins. I pick him up, his face is contorted in pain as he continues to suck in air ... then after an eternity frozen in my memory, he lets out a wail of heartrending tribulation. I can see the blood welling up behind his battered lower lip. The brilliant red seeps up into the gaps between his glistening white teeth like an onslaught of rust upon a fleet of decaying fishing trawlers. The Mrs and I do the best we can to comfort him as his body shocks itself into a rigidity not common for him. He only cries out a few more times as I hand him off to the Mrs. She cradles him in her arms and scurries upstairs to help him rinse out his mouth and checks his mouth to see the severity of the damage. The emergency medical staff is alerted and the robotic ninja EMT battalions are activated. A small cut, a bruise and no chipped teeth. His first bloody lip. Sometimes, learning is hard. Hard on the doting parents too, of course.

Later on, the Mrs and I are discussing the critically serious topic of pizza, toppings and where to get it from. We decide on Maggios since it is less than a half mile away. As I start to call the listed number, the Mrs cries out to me that 'You need to pick it up, they charge for delivery.' I indicate that I understand, but that was apparently not enough for Alexis. A little voice sternly warns me 'They charge for delivery!', her index finger wagging at me to accentuate her assertion. The Mrs and I start laughing uncontrollably. She'll make a good teenager some day. The pizza from this new origin goes over big with the kids. They are especially fond of the cheese, extra cheese, hamburger and crumbled Italian sausage. Damage: 8.57$. Everyone is happy tonight.

It's early in the morning and Alexis is complaining. She does not leave her bed, but waits for the Mrs to haul her into our bed. She is coughing a bit still, just can't shake that congestion. The Hounds got out again and were milling about the upper hallway. I imagine they woke Alexis. Our doors were open but they did not have the intestinal fortitude to come into the rooms. The minute they saw me getting out of bed, they took off like their tails were on fire. As long as they dont have an accident (which has not happend in several months) on the new carpet we got from the Subterranean Spider Queen of Alpha Centauri, I'm not going to go ballistic over their transgression. We got a bit of snow last night. Probably 3-4 inches. It is unusually light an fluffy. More like Rocky Mountain Powder than the typical East Coast Crud. Oddly enough, my commute was not effected by this. Stranger and stranger.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 6:16 AM