White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Ahhh, the Holy Grail of the Family Man: Friday night. Yes, the night that the Master Of All He Surveys can kick back in his lounge chair, don his smoking jacket, light up a good cigar and enjoy a sifter of brandy while the wife and kids sit dutifully about his feet and admire his presence ... Yeah, right. When I left the client site, I was still bickering over the table change with the DB group. They were now waiting on the authorization from the director but it is too late. The day is over and I was not going to work more than 9 hours ... WAIT more than 9 hours. We asked 2 days ago and this was preposterous. I'll let them explain to the customer why there is no current data on the sales for the week. That should set my mood appropriately for the weekend. The upside is that the Neurology office called with my MRI results. They had already processed my images and have found very little major damage since 1996. Healthy living? Married with kids? Dumb luck? Grace of God? Any of these will suit me fine. I'll just keep doing what I have been for the last 5 years and try not to deviate.

Since Monday is a bank holiday (and govt and daycare), SuperMom and Little Brother have come down for a visit. We kept the kids up past their normal bed time so they could enjoy the short time that the relations will be here. They arrived shortly before 2100 and we had already given up on the evening bath. Alexis was already getting surly and the prolonged detention in the tub would only exacerbate the super-nova fury of a 2.5 year old. Nope, she played and made hostile threats, commands and vitriolic warnings that if we sent her to bed, the Haupertonian Empire would be consumed in a sea of nuclear fire. It was bed time anyways so let the nukes fly. She writhed, kicked and shrieked for about 5 minutes and then passed into blissful sleep. Tyrant Management 101.

The kids slept in till 0730 but the dogs got up at 0615. I nudged the wife out of bed to let the dogs out since I was in my tightie whities and she had her full suite of battle gear on. Since she got the dogs, I got the kids. Actually, Grandma ended up with the kids since all I did was take them out of the crib and hand them their bottles. It did not take them long to figure out that Grams would be a much more entertaining party than the semi-comatose parental units. Jake pretty much just relaxed in the guest bed while Alexis extorted Grams' jewelry. As it turns out, ear rings make really good pinky rings if you are careful about the posts. After a while, Alexis took to calling Grams Mommy and Mommy v2.0 was relegated to 2 steps beneath chopped liver. Nice to see you down at my level hon. We let the kids take advantage of Grandma while we showered up and prepped for the Saturday Morning IHOP expedition. Crayons, paper, milk bottles, water-based magic markers ... everything needed for a 2 hour cruise ... a 2 hour cruise. So just sit right back and we'll tell you a tale, a tale of a fateful trip ... hmmm, getting carried away with that. Anyways, we got there shortly after 1100 and had to wait a bit. It looked like the entire population of Greater Mongolia had the same idea and stuck to their guns once they arrived. Oddly enough, I managed to dock the Family Tank right in the first row of parking. We had about a 15 minute wait, but it is worth it. Grams orders a 3 egg omelet. Little did she know it was 3 pterodactyl eggs. The thing was bigger than her! It came with a side of 3 pancakes. The kids enjoyed those. And there was the bacon, the sausage, the French toast, eggs (over easy and scrambled), hash browns and a full Yak carcass. The kids ate well and there were leftovers to boot. I think the bill came out to 37 cents or so. Knowing our limits, we paid the bill and made a hasty retreat back to the manor for our scheduled mid-afternoon nap. It has been a good morning indeed.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 3:29 PM