White Lightning Axiom: Redux

The lemming-like march to destruction that is my trip home went awfully well last night. Got home with enough time to take care of all the chores before the Mrs arrived. She got to set out the kids meals since I was occupying myself with lugging the bins of clean laundry from the drier to the Master Suite. Since I did not get around to doing the laundry this weekend, I have an extra large load to take care of now. Guest sheets, towels, our clothes ... the works. I dread to think what my Super Mom went through when my sibling and I were large enough to get dirty enough to require a change of clothes twice a day. I think I am going to learn rather quickly.

Once we had finished the evening S&R mission and things had settled down at the manor, I had a task to do. The Lovely Mrs with the Squirt and Punk sat down to have their evening meal while I headed outside into the stabbing cold night. I was to set out the donations for Purple Heart for a morning pickup. They needed a way to get to the front porch without having to trek across the tundra wasteland that was now the front yard. I'm also obligated by local township ordinance to shovel the sidewalk in front of the manor as well under pain of death. Or a fine, or a little slip of hate mail. I doubt it is even enforced, but a civic minded citizen like myself cannot let that taint my decision. So shovel away. I cleared a path on the sidewalk from my northern neighbors walk (which was already cleared by a snow-blower) all the way to the mile-long driveway. Feeling peckish, I then cleared a path from the mailbox, across the sidewalk and up to the front porch. I was starting to sweat a bit and feeling the burn. My lungs, still cobbled up with bits of dead virus, were doing their best to deliver the freezing cold oxygen to the long abandoned muscles that I was forcing into action. Man, I DO need to get to the gym. I managed to get this done is much less time than I expected. The weather has remained fairly cold so none of the snow had a chance to melt into the usual ice-cake mess. An odd thought crossed my mind as I stood on the front porch admiring my work. An oddly generous thought. I trudged over to my southern neighbors yard and start excavation on their sidewalk as well. Marvin just recently had one of his kidneys removed was probably not in the best condition to be out doing this kind of work right now. His wife had other more pressing concerns as well. I'm sure my philanthropy would be appreciated if given but not asked for if offered. Their sidewalk goes around the corner that their cottage is situated on so I only made it 90% of the way before encountering giant piles of snow. I was starting to slow down so I figured that they could call their son up to finish the job if required. Hey, what do you expect from a flu infected exhausted MS daddy! Nuff said, inside to eat my salad and squash with the family.

Things went as they always do at the Manor. Jake needed prompting to eat, Alexis threw a temper tantrum and had to be sent to bed for a while to cool off. We played, I put wood on the fire. The Hounds got let in for a visit with the kids and then tossed out after leaving mountain sized piles of hair on the sofa. Then bath time came. The Mrs and I live for this since it is the moment when we realize that there will soon be a few moments of peace in our day. So close. While I prep the bath and paraphernalia for bath-n-bed, the Mrs strips down the kids and searches them for contraband. More than once we have had to contend with extracting items from the flailing hands of disappointed toddlers that would not fare well in the bath. The end result is a wailing and thrashing little one with little motivation to cooperate with the Evil Oppressors. Before they go in the tub, they are asked to sit on their potty and give it a go. Recently, Alexis has not been entirely interested. Mostly, I think, because she just does not have to go. We try a bit of bribery these days. If they sit on the potty, they get 1 little sticker that they can put on the lid. If they pee, they get another sticker. The stickers are about the size of the fingernail on my pinkie finger. I think Jake is fascinated with the different designs on the stickers and is very eager to get as many stickers as he can. He sat down as soon as he got his diaper off and then popped right back up demanding his prize. Ok, here it is, 1 sticker. He eagerly accepts the bounty and sticks it to the lid. Then, he sits back down and concentrates ... he pees in the potty. Well, that's great! That means another sticker! He grins from ear to ear as he is granted a new sticker. Now, at this point I will empty out the removable container and let him crawl into the tub. He has other plans. After I replace the receptacle and he applies his new sticker, he sits down again! I think he is trying to game the system, but he is trying realllly hard. There is strain showing on his face as a few drops dribble out. I look on with a critical eye as he stands up to inspect his artfully crafted product. And there it was. One lonely little turd in the middle of a tiny puddle of pee. He, the Mrs and I were all equally astounded. He pointed at the little dropping and then gave an inquisitive look to the Mrs. Well, um, wow. That would certainly mean another sticker for you there bub. He starts to reach for the refuse but I quickly take the cup and dispose of its contents in the toilet. He watches on, distraught as I flush away his little creation. I give him his sticker and he seems satisfied. Then, without warning, he turns about and plops his tiny buns right back down on his potty. Ok, what now? He concentrates, then low and behold, more artwork. This has been his lucky day. Never have so many stickers been applied in honor of his voiding attempts. The Mrs and I are quite pleased as well. Small things seem to do that for us these days.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 2:05 AM