White Lightning Axiom: Redux

The traffic last night was ... retarded. Not to cast any ill will on people with learning disabilities or anything. They can contribute to society and be very productive people. They do not, however, try to read a newspaper and eat a hamburger while driving down the turnpike. In the passing lane. Going 10 mph below the speed limit. Oblivious. Retard motorists. I need a bigger horn for my car. Something that will strip the chrome off the bumper of whoever is within the cone of fury. Or maybe a directional EMP gun. I'll have to talk to the boys in the lab about this. I don't pay extort keep them locked up for nothing.

I got our utility bill today. I could not believe it, 300$ for gas and electric. We essentially doubled our Oct and Nov bill in one fell swoop. Of course, we used the same amount of gas this December as we did last year, but the electric was right off the chart. I think this is mostly due to us staying put this year for Christmas and then having both families down. The Outlaws from Manhattan tend to be night-owls so that may have contributed to part of the bill. Perhaps having all the lights up on the house and the 10 bazillion watt tree set up could have sucked up a few megawatts. Three hundred greenbacks! It's a mighty good thing that the Mrs pays these bills or I would be turning off the furnace and taking ice-cold showers till March. I guess I should start looking into that solar heat mechanism I was so hot-to-trot on a few months ago. Of course, it will warm up soon and I'll forget all about it till next years PECO LoanShark extortion-fest.

Dinner was interesting last night too. Jake was a gem in the rough. He ate what we gave him and did not make a fuss. He ate his vitamin and all of his food. He then snarfed an entire container of yogurt. Then there was his Evil Twin, Alexis the Squirt. She screamed and refused to eat. Spitting, hissing and lashing out the whole time. She ended up having a time out until she agreed to apologize to mommy for behaving so poorly and caving in on the 'eat your dinner' request. She walked in, gave mommy a hug and the was place back in her seat where she picked up where she left off. Refusing to eat and being generally difficult. Off to bed it was for her till she calmed down a bit. This did it for her. She exploded into a fit of wails and thrashing that would make even Donald Trump blush. The howls of discontent reverberated through the halls of the manor for agonizing eons. Nearly 5 minutes by my count. After she had some quiet time, I brought her back down and she ate her dinner as if none of the previous events had occurred. It is as if she were the MSM denying that they had ever clamored for action in Iraq or squawked about WMD being built by terrorists. But that was in the previous century. As far as Alexis was concerned, whatever happened an hour ago need not be discussed. She who controls the past, owns the present. She who owns the present, molds the future. The future had popcorn in it and all was right in the Haupertonian international HQ and Manor.

I had some time to cook dinner for the Lovely and Talented Mrs MDMHVONPA. One batch of Provincial Chicken with Herbs and Garlic and four servings of Pasta with Italian Sausage, Home Made Red Sauce, Straw Mushrooms and sauteed garlic. I let her know right off the top that she should lay off the garlic if she wanted me to kiss her tonight. That, and if she had any meetings tomorrow, it would be a good idea to chew some gum. Whole cloves of garlic can be a mixed blessing. Exquisite taste and innumerable health benefits countered by an unbelievable case of halitosis. Well, at least I know that nobody will try to steal her away from me if the greenish vapor poltergeist that spills from our mouths have anything to say about it.

One last note, it was bone chilling cold again this morning. This had a considerable impact on the traffic. When I went out to check the vehicle fleet this morning, the first thing I did was to start up the Family Tank and crank up the heat. This would make it toasty warm for the Mrs and the Troops. This simple act replicated by my cold-blooded automotive brethren would keep them from lapsing into the cold induced semi-coma state that they seem to bungle through. There should be HUNDREDS of casualties every morning if people drove like this all the time. It was a small wonder that some of these folk manage to get out of the house in the morning without stabbing themselves in the eye with a fork or tripping over their own feet when they try to put two shoes in the same hoof. Time for me to have a cup of coffee so that the caffeine devil can choke the reality of the world out of my view. Oh, on a side note, any one here a big fan of Senator Boxer?