White Lightning Axiom: Redux

When I got home last night, I found something in the mail box that I had not expected. It was a summons. A Juror Summons. Ack. Every election year, I get one of these. The questions on the form this year are much more involved too. Weird stuff like if I would believe the testimony of a Law enforcement officer because of his job. If my religious beliefs would make it impossible to render a verdict. Lots of pseudo-ethical things that I found to be rather intrusive. I answered all the yes/no questions and put it back in the mail box. I also put a bottle of White Zinfandel out for the mail carrier since it was not going to get below freezing tonight. I wonder if he will take the wine.

At the manor, I finally gave up on the box fan method of making jerky, it just was not cutting it. The fan is not powerful enough to get the air through the 2 filters. Oh well. I put it in the oven at 170 for a few hours and it firmed up a bit. The honey/soy flavor was close to what the Mrs was expecting. I think that it may be cheaper/better if we used a real dehydrator though. That, and the cure needs some work, it had just a touch too much salt in the soy sauce. That, and the honey made it awfully sticky. It's still meat, and thus, it is good. So sayeth the carnivore.

Woke up late, the kids were still sleeping and the hounds were quiet. Go figure. I wanted to get in early today because of the peculiar requirements on my time, but it was not to be. Rolling into the parking lot just before 0815 was ok, but I could do better. About an hour better. As I began my (late) day, I felt the necessity to visit the mens room. I was in the process of initiating the preparations for a waste expulsion process when for some odd reason, my cell phone popped out of its case. I think it was some sort of matter inversion anomaly that caused this. The case was still securely closed with its high-tech velcro strap. I saw the tiny yet expensive device arc towards the roll of toilet paper before I recognized what was happening. It bounced off the roll of extra sandy tp and headed directly for the back of the toilet. Oh good, that would have sucked. I then watched it as it struck the flush mechanism behind the industrial style toilet and then changed directions in a manner that defies physics. "KERPLUNK!", right into the shitter it goes. I did not hesitate as I quickly grabbed it and try to shake the water off it. Ack, french perfume water. It looked ok, there lcd screen was still active. I tried to use the buttons ... nothing. Crap! (no pun intended) I remove the back panel and out comes a few tablespoons of water. I immediately remove the battery and the sim chip. I desperately waved the phone and component parts about in a feeble hope that the air will magically suck the moisture from the frail circuits. With my pants about my knees, I reassembled the phone and tried to turn it on. He's dead Jim. Not even an electronic whimper. I sat down clumsily with a sullen face and cradled my dearly departed device instant connectivity to the world. Nary a year had passed since I got it. When I returned to my desk, I sent a mournful message to the Mrs describing my poor luck. When she called back, she let me know that she had stopped paying the 10$/month insurance fee on each of the phones. Either I would have to use my old phone or buy a new one. The latter option was out of the question being that I am a Mighty Scrooge and tightwad to boot. We even called my Little Skinny Brother and woke him from his slumber to see if he knew how to disassemble the phone further in hopes that it would spring to life if it were dried thoroughly. No, you need a super-special wrench tool made of platinum and the thigh bones of the Upper Andies Vapor Frog that emerges from hibernation once every 21 years to emit a single croak and then returns to it's den. I lay the phone on a gossamer sheet that I had spread on my desktop in respect. Ok, it was an old memo about the garbage cans. Ironic.

I had lunch today with boss lady. I was pretty anxious about this for the last couple of days. As I quickly learned, she was primarily interested in how I was doing and what the hell is going on with my condition. Arris seems to have a high occurrence of infirmity. DK has back problems, DH has sinusitis, PF has stomach issues, our salesman has a nerve condition. Half the company seems to have one foot in the grave! Consulting is hazardous to your health. She did have a work question about what it would take to spec out a data model for one of our clients. I told her a week to seven working days. She agreed, but the client thought 30 days. I think that either the partner does not know what they want or they are expecting something entirely different than a data model. Oh, it was a nice lunch too. Had the rotisserie grilled chicken salad. Yum.

It is getting near the hour that darkness envelopes this land of wet and wind. I look at my phone and figure that I might as well reassemble it. I snap all the little pieces in place and turn it over. Aw, what the heck, I'll give the little guy one more try. I press the button ... nothing. Oh well. Then, without warning, the little Cingular symbol pops up and it goes operational! Well what do you know! All the numbers are there and everything. The time is not set and there are no bars on the signal indicator. I probably just need to get the sim reprogrammed. What luck. And there is a store in the KOP mall that I where could go and get the problem fixed. Not such a bad day after all.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 5:51 PM