White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Potty

Friday, October 22, 2004



Interesting smell in the office. Its the smell of kerosene in one of those death-trap space heaters. They have just turned on the heat in the building and I think one of the burners is not working quite right. It's just in our area too, where all of us prostitute contractors sit. Perhaps they are trying to gas us so they don't have to pay for our services? Hmmm, doubtful. Probably some jackass thought it would be a good idea to test the HVAC system during work hours. Brilliant. The fumes are agitating my senses and I can feel the impending return of the migraine from hell. They shut it down and try again, this time no sudden rush of fumes, but it may be that our clothing and sinuses are so permeated with the noxious exhaust that we can no longer tell. If this happens again, it will certainly be an OSHA situation or I will start burning incense.

On the way back home, I was fighting down the return of the killer migrane, I barely noticed that my traffic karma was on the positive side. I was doing my best to keep up with the rest of traffic going at about 107mph and got to my exit in record time. As I was exiting the Turnpike Speedway, I could see from the overpass that the traffic going west was nearly at a stand-still and the eastbound traffic beyond my interchange was suddenly coming to a halt. This could only be bad news for my fellow speedway racers, but it was no matter for me today as I trundled off in my SuperSaturn. I had a routine to complete at the Manor. The gnashing of teeth and the wails of lament were distracting me.

Jacob had a really successful day as well. When we were getting ready for bath time, I had set out the training potty. Jacob came running into the room as usual, did his happy dance because it's splashy-splash time. After I had stripped off his diaper, he began to climb into the bath tub to join his sister. I asked him if he would like to sit on the potty. He looked at me quizzically and slowly lifted his left foot out of the tub. Dripping wet, he waddles over to the potty, plops down on the seat and then looks down in anticipation. Then he pees. The little bugger is smarter than he is letting on! Or maybe, I'm SUPER DAD!!!!! The kids and I were playing Superman with capes earlier in the evening and maybe we are truly a family of super heroes with secret uber-mensch powers. Or maybe, it's time for the kids to start potty training. I'll stick with the former and abandon the latter, it suits my ego.


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