White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Weekend Roundup

Sunday, August 01, 2004


Weekend Roundup

It rained Friday night. Really hard. Noah stopped by and asked if I could loan him some galoshes. This was right after we got home from Pete's place at 11pm. Yes, the kids were still awake and going full tilt. I don't know how they do it, but I'm certain that they manufacture nutrients from water and air. Since it was so late, we decided to just change them into their pajamas and give them their nightcap of milk and snore-all. We will bathe them in the morning, which we hope will be sometime around 8 or 9am.

Flash forward to an ungodly hour on Saturday morning. That would be 6:30ish for you refreshed purveyors of my tripe. The kids are making a ruckus that cannot be ignored and the dogs are howling away. Did I mention that they, (the dogs) dance about at the foot of the grand staircase till they hear the manor security alarm system deactivation tones? Well, there they were, groaning and whining and dancing away. We let them roam about while we were over at Pets's place and they apparently sucked all the water that their monstrous bodies could hold. Now, they had to purge in a bad way. Hold it in guys, I've got an assault on the front lines to deal with right now. I started filling the tub right after the kids got their morning espresso with milk. Jacob was thrilled at the concept of being able to splash the Overlord Oppressors in the morning. Alexis, however, saw this deviation of THE SCHEDULE as an affront to all that defines humanity. She acted accordingly and wailed the whole time. Once that joy was completed, we had ample time to lounge about with the kids and get belted with various toys. But not too much time. We had to prepare for a visit by some of the Mrs's work friends. These two, the Bardwells, had a story-book life. They worked at the same company. He proposed to her in Paris, they married and had an enormous wedding. Moved to Puerto Rico for a short time. Came back and got a McMansion. Then started pumping out kids. Then, it was over. Now, its no sleep and all work for them! Their two kids are rather endearing though. Alexis likes Alex quite a bit. He is about 2 years her senior, but he is summoned and beckoned consistently to come and 'Blay'. Xavier, still a crawling toddler is of interest only as a 'baby' to identify. Both kids have shockingly blond hair and I recall that Xavier has the most stunning blue eyes. Of course, he is allergic to wheat and dairy. I would certainly trade the blue eyes to get rid of the allergies, it is a miserable situation for the parents. It is a God-given grace that the little bugger is absurdly cute. They brought over food, but in my own bizarre way I felt the need to supply food in over-abundance as well. We had a nice London broil that I sliced into quarter inch strips. Six wursts were also prepared along with all the condiments. A whole kielbasa was set out. All meats were grilled to perfection on one of the 3 grills peppering the expansive upper deck out back. Just past the mess hall, through the french doors and you will find them. It was humid and hot when I started prepping the food and the heat from the nuclear powered grill that Hero Dad had bought for me nearly incinerated me as I tried to season the steak. If it were not for the 200% humidity, I would certainly have lost a limb. Fortunately, the sweat cascading off my body acted as a barrier and merely vaporized as I did my culinary best.

After a fulfilling meal and a short play-time. We sent our guests packing along with several tons of food left over from the dinner. You may have notice that the kids played right through their nap time and showed no signs of abating. A surge of pity must have come over the Mrs who snatched up the two of them and took them out shopping for bobbles. Bobbles and trinkets for her cousin's wedding. I'm not going to complain. During play time, both Mr Bardwell and I nearly passed out from exhaustion. I swear that the carpet in the front play area is emitting some kind of chemical that makes adult men pass out. I've experienced the effects and seen it in work. I submit that we carpet the middle-east with this and let them sleep their lives away. Let the children and women take over. It would lead to a unheard of peace accord where the men would be packed into giant super-tower barracks with bunk-beds to the sky. The Haupertonian name would decorate these 'coma wards' and be a symbol of peace for millennia to come. <sigh> For now, I must file these top-secret level black plans away and get back to work on the AA Emplacement of the North Tower.

I frittered my time away but did manage to get two of the 4x4x10 weight-bearing components in place along with a few cross-beams. Not much when you think about it, but doing it alone with only my hordes of uncompensated workforce is not a trivial task. Hanging from the top beam, trying to get the support lumber just right before punching holes for the bolts ... argh, a formidable task indeed. Making sure it is level and square is just one more complexity that makes having only 2 arms that much more frustrating. Note to self: work on the bioengineering effort to attach additional arms with sufficient bone and sinew to make them viable. Extra fingers would be nice too.

Shortly after the Mrs got home, the rain started again. Not surprising given that the air was so soupy that I could swim to the top of the structure and just skip the ladder. Apparently, Alexis had fallen asleep the minute the Mrs had left the Mile Long Avenue on the way out of the Haupertionian Manor and did not wake till she was back home. That should keep here bizarre energy reserves replenished for a good 4 hours. The rest of the night went as scripted. Bath, clothe, feed and sleep. I let the Mrs know that I will attempt to attend the 7am mass this Sunday and she gets to pick which of the Two Troublesome Toddlers gets to stay home with her. She chose the cuddly one, Jacob and let me take the Queen of Shriek.

Sunday morning started out with a light and intermittent rain. Not enough to turn on the window-wipers, but enough to be noticed by the hounds. I did manage to get everything together for the 7am mass, with massive support from the Mrs. So much stuff to carry along for a one hour outing. Everything went well, Alexis behaved as best as she could, hugging and snuggling away for about 30 minutes. The last 30 minutes was comprised of a pretty low-level resistance effort. A few loud exclamations and not much else. She helped deposit our contribution to the collection basket and performed a few antics. All in all, a very easy time for daddy. Upon returning home, I spent a rather large chunk of time laying about with the kids. It was more of a languor filled malaise than any participation on my part. I suppose the heat and activities from yesterday affected me more than I estimated. Or was it the three beers and two glasses of wine. Me thinks the later.

Ages later, it was time to put the two down for their afternoon nap, with great pleasure on our part. Within moments, they were peacefully dozing. The Mrs went out to get her hair cut. I never like the way her hair looks after it gets cut, but my preference for long hair has no play in the argument when she brings up the choice between short hair/easy prep vs. long hair and hours of prep. While she is out getting her flaxen locks hacked off, I run a couple of network line to the kitchen. This has been an on-going issue where the wireless hub just does not have the power to get past the interference from EMF and various impedances from the 1st basement level to the kitchen. Not a very difficult task once I find the best place to punch a hole in the wall that I can get access to from the basement. The only issue is that the panel that I put in place requires a hole in the wall that makes it nearly impossible to put securing screws in place. This will require some clever engineering sometime later. I only ran 2 cables and need to run a 3rd some time in the future. This should be enough for our current infrastructure needs. Once the Mrs came home, I showed her how to punch down the Cat-5 and wrapped up the activity with time to spare.

I had a few more Action Items I needed to wrap up for the day. One of them was to perform a supplementary harvest of the Agricultural Sector. The Mrs graciously offered to assist which cut the duration down considerably. I pulled in a basket of various items including extra-large jalapenos, green beans, peas and a bumper crop of tomatoes. Next year, I think I will not plant any cherry tomatoes and only have 6 plants. That, and only 6-12 peppers as well. I'll also cut back on the green beans to perhaps only 1 or 2 rows. Two mounds of squash would be adequate as well. I have an extra-ordinary surplus of crops this year, except for the onions. They crapped out because of the extensive moisture. No great loss, at a few dollars a bag, growing onions is a loosing proposition. With the harvest completed, the kids instinctively knew that they should begin their protestations. A strange thing happened when they woke, they forgot that they were mortal foes and decided to sit quietly and page through books together. While they were busy playing nice with each other, I took on the hardest task of the weekend: Bathing the hounds of hell. It was an arduous task and took exceptionally long. This is never an easy job due to the size and mass of these creatures. It's like bathing a rabid Kodiak bear, it has no desire to be bathed and is intent on displaying it's displeasure. After bathing the dogs, I needed to take a shower to sluff off the sweat and dog hair. Nothing like dog hair on your face while you are dripping with sweat. Kodiak dog hair, with sweat ... yum.


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