White Lightning Axiom: Redux: Crest of the hill

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


Crest of the hill

We woke this morning to the heated wails of Jocular Jacob. After I had freed him from the Toddler Detention Zone and nestled him next to the Matronly Mrs MDMHVONPA, she noted that he was awfully warm. Upon taking his temperature, we found that he was running a low grade fever. A dropper full of pharma should get him on the straight and narrow. He snuggled down into the bed and spent a bit of quality time with the Cuddly Mrs MDMHVONPA. While listening to the morning news, I was amazed to hear that one or more tornados (of the T1 severity) had touched down over in Jersey. It was a bit windy, but these dinky little local dust-devils are nothing like the barn-smashers we got back in the mid-west. The Haupertonian Combine City-State Empire is near the top of the hill, so we get a bit of lighting. Since we are not at the very top of the hill, we usually don't see much in the line of tornados ... I guess they save them up for the other side of the Delaware River.

I was running on vapors this morning, so the stretch Saturn SL2 Limo needed to get a fresh tank of rocket fuel. The place I stop is not the least expensive, but it is right on the way to the turnpike entrance. Thusly, I suffer the 3 cents per gallon extra I must pay. Thirty cents to save myself thirty minutes, I can live with that. Its that same logic I use Ez-Pass and the Turnpike. People are willing to pay a bit extra for convenience and a net savings in time. Its the height frustration level of wanting to obliterate my fellow commuters with the small tactical nuke I keep in the trunk that keeps me off the local roads. I could save $1.10 if I took the back roads. Of course, it would take me nearly two hours to get to and from work, what, with all the smoking, radioactive craters I leave behind.

Work is bleh. Do the settlement report. Got to make the settlement report. Time to do the ... ghaaa, like that Dunkin Donuts commercial. Near the end of my monotony, the Mrs gave me a call to let me know that Day-care has proclaimed that Jacob IS sick. Duh. In any event, he has an appointment at the Pediatrician's office at 6:45pm and that I must not give him any pharma before then. I don't relish the results of these evening appointments. It always ends up with the Mrs coming home long after bath time and we have to go through hoops to get the sick toddler bathed, fed and in bed.

I get home at my usual time and sort through the mail. Two odd pieces of mail catch my eye. One addressed to me, the other to the Mrs. They are from a law firm in a near-by town. I open mine and find that the woman who got whip-lash in 'Catastrophic Incident' has decided to sue us. WHAT! Oh, for crying out loud. Since she has limited tort, she is going to an outside firm to press for compensation. I can see where this is going. Fortunately, I applied for additional insurance just for this situation. I have a $100K per person, $300K per accident personal liability coverage option. It should cover her 'pain and anguish'. But all I can think is that this is absurd. I have been in no less than 6 accidents where someone else was obviously at fault and I NEVER, EVER sued. If I have a problem, I would just let them know what the tab is. I would not turn to a lawyer and try to extort the sweat from some-one else's brow. ARRRRRRRGHHH! People really get under my skin. Oh, and her car bumper is bent a bit down. The rental, repairs and deductible are covered by our insurance. No problem for her. Gutter weed. Same for the lawyer.

After I pick up Jacob early from daycare, I spend a considerable amount of time trying to get my Firstborn Son to eat something. Solid foods were not on his preferred list this time. All he would eat is that God-Awful yogurt and pureed fruit. So be it. When Mommy arrived at the manor, we engaged in mortal combat with the twins for a bit, then she shuttled him off for the office visit. While she was enjoying the standard abusive treatment at the Pediatrician's, Alexis and I went out to do some foraging at the local grocery store.

Alexis is the bestest shopping partner ever. Unless you look away. The second you take her eyes off her, she will stand up on the child seat and start dancing away. You look back and she quickly sits down and gives you that "WHAT! I'm not doing anything!" look. I was tasked with getting milk and fruit puree ... the poor misguided Mrs. I am not allowed to go shopping for a reason! I found 3 liter soda for 1$ a piece, great deal! There was the 6 pack of pringles that could not be ignored. The various cranberry juice products that has the special discount for Giant Secret Cabal Members only. Look, cheese! And it is 5$ for two chunks! Look at this, its soy-milk. Mmmmmmm! Ohhhhh, and my favorite section: MEAT! Nice, bloody, gut-binding meat. They all had manager specials on them too. How can I resist this! In the end, I think I spent 78$ on groceries, and save about 30$. It was on the receipt, but I was much too concerned about hiding my ill-gotten gains before the Mrs got home and lit into my sorry spend-thrift rear.

On the way home, the sky started to become ominous as a new cell of angry, grey-green cloud-bursts started advancing on our hill-top. We did manage to run down the local ice-cream truck and salvage a sherbert push-up pop from the wreckage. This van usually closes in on the speed of light as he rockets through our development, so I engaged the particle accelerator and brought him down. There was much rejoicing from the local cadre of rug-rats as they danced on the burning hulk and dragged dove-bars through the streets. Needless to say, Alexis found that a sherbert push-up pop is about the closest thing to paradise on earth as you can find when it is hot outside. Her stuffed Minnie-Mouse, shirt, pants and a few square feet of skin also got to share in the euphoric experience. Next time I catch one of the quantum physics ice-cream trucks in the neighborhood, I'll have to flag them down and get these for both of the cold loving tots. Since they consider ice cubes as 'cookies', I'm certain that they will stand on their heads for push-up pops.


<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?