White Lightning Axiom: Redux

It was a good morning today. Even better for Mommy. I woke to my alarm clock at 5:15 and promptly snoozed it till about 5:30ish. I could hear the starting of the morning complaints from the Haupertonian Hounds of Hell and the Tremendous Twin Twisters of DOOOOOM. I bumbled out of bed and made my way into the bathroom to confront the stranger in the mirror. That guy is getting pretty haggard looking, worse every day. Poor slob. We brush our teeth, skip the floss and rinse in down with a shot of listerine. I slowly start to regain my limited dexterity and began to shave. I love my electric shaver. I used to dry shave with a rusty machete, but found that it cut too close and left me combating the periodic festering ingrown hair. Yeah, yuck. The electric leaves just enough stubble to alleviate that but not too much to make me look like Homer Simpson. I checked the upstairs fridge and found that we had not prepared bottles. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I insisted on washing the bottles last night so they are down in the kitchen. So I waddle downstairs and let Katie and Thor out for their morning constitutional. The are always so happy to see me in the morning. Thor will thrash is tail about, reducing down-town Tokyo to rubble in the process. While I am busy watching Thor do his 'Oh MAN do I have to pee!' dance, Katie will flank me and tag the back of my knee with her nose. Nothing like cold dog snot on the most sensitive part of you leg in the morning. I tell them to calm down and sit ... then let them loose upon the lawn. I traipse out after them to collect their deposits. You have got do that, rain or shine. I let it go once and regretted it. It was like someone had let a herd of buffalo loose in my back-50. Dog Drops as far as the eye could see. Enough of that thread. I get them their food and some water as they slavishly look on. Good pups, go get it! They dive into the food with the ferocity of starving hyenas. I make my way to the kitchen and prep the bottles ... and go back up to the master bed room suite. Joyce is still sleeping in spite of my alarm clock going off. Its just classical music so she ignores it and persists to sleep on. I set down the bottles and get the diapers and pants out for the day. As I walk into the nursery, I do minor 10 second chores on the way. Move this, unplug that, turn that off, open this ... lots of little things, nobody notices. Except me, typical type-a. I open the door and Alexis pops her head up. She is full of pep this morning, she usually sleeps in a bit and wakes after Jacob. He is out cold. I hoist her out of bed as she snuggles in closer to my chest and pats my back as I pat hers. She knows the drill as I set her down on the water-bed and DEMANDS that she has her fortified milk NOW! Joyce, starts to stir and pours out of bed. I go back for Jacob who is actually still asleep. Weird. I rub his back and he slowly comes to. Not quite awake enough to do anything, but reflexisvly grasps at my shoulder. The sun-burn still hurts, but its ok. I deposit him on Joyce's recently vactated territory and hand over his beverage of choice. With them pre-occupied, the changing of sodden diapers and donning of daily garb goes much quicker. As I finish up, the groggy, yet alluring Mrs MDMHVONPA glides out of the bathroom and slides between the two tiny angles. Yeah, they are angelic in the morning. I think I know why Joyce prefers doing the morning shift. While they are busy taking in sustenance and watching Pooh on the tube, I shower up and get myself in order. Minutes later, I'm back and it looks like the little bottomless pits have drank enough milk to sate them. I look at the bottles and cannot imagine drinking a similar amount based on size. I would have to down a liter of warm milk to simulate their appetite. Offtah! I lug Alexis downstairs to the kitchen and put her in one of the 'restraining chairs' and let her watch the TV there and give her a hand-full of Kix for her to munch on. Back upstairs, Jacob is doing his best to be cute and snuggly with Mommy, who is eating it up. He lays his head and arms on her chest and nestles up to her, periodically giggling and cooing. He is going to be trouble with the Ladies out in Minnesota, I can tell already. Eventually, Mommy surrenders the love-fest to necessity and takes him downstairs. I can tell that she wanted that to last all day, and I wish she could have had that. It's those precious moments between Mother and Son that make the bond so strong. Unbreakable strong. She will teasure those gracious minutes until her grandson repeats the 'Mommy Maneuver'.