White Lightning Axiom: Redux

It’s odd, I never imagined that I would be begging for work to do. Something that might add meaning to the hours that I sit here, watching the clock tick away the time. Time that I will never get back. Time that I might regret loosing some day. For now, I fill the emptiness by wandering through the endless parade of blogs and self-adulate web sites. So, what do I do? Set one up myself. I was fairly astounded at how easy it has become. As a life-time technocrat, I'm pretty happy about how technology has been made so accessible to the populace. The work I do now for a fairly young '.com' company is really quite mundane. If you look at the big picture, the scope of my work comes down to tossing files of orders between hosts and databases. Nothing that is going to help establish a moon colony, mitigate world hunger or bring peace to the troubled nations. It’s difficult to really get myself excited to do it like I used to so many years ago. Is this maturity? Or have I become hopelessly jaded. Sure, I’m grateful for my job and all the blessing that I have been granted in my long 36 years. But this can be so tedious! I really should complain louder about the quality of challenges I have been presented. Ive learned not to squeak too loudly though. Sure, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but it is just as likely to get a quick rap with a hammer as well. More likely than not, I will be moving on to another contract soon enough. The year long tour of duty here is not written in stone ... I hope! I remember doing manual labor to supplement my income when I was in college. Digging ditches, laying insulation, cleaning out cisterns and other glamorous activities. I would go home filthy, odorous and exhausted. A physical exhaustion that could be explained and justified. Not this bizarre mental fatigue that seems to so noticeable drain the life from me. Perhaps, I'll work on the garden tonight after the kids have gone to bed. Or perhaps, I'll chop some of that wood piled out back. Something that might give me some sense of accomplishment. Its going to be a fairly active weekend, I’m sure I gather some strength from it.