White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Today, our daughter gets her first hair cut. A top shelf, world class production. She has always been fairly particular about who is allowed to hold or touch her. Ever since she was old enough to wail, she let it be known that daddy will hold her and he shall ever more hold her this way. So sayeth the queen of shriek. If all could go as planed, this would be fairly painless in the grand scheme of things. It was not so. At about 4:30 am, an hour that I know too well, she started simpering. Not quite a cry, but enough noise that I wake from my typical light slumber. I do my best to dismount from the bed without launching Joyce off the other side. The cons of owning a waterbed, but being too cheap to get anything but a giant balloon for a mattress. I bumble into the nursery after slamming into a few walls. The same walls I greet every time I get up much too early. She is just laying there, eyes open but not quite registering that anyone is in the room. I gently lift her out and notice that she is quite warm. Nothing new, she is much like her mother and seems to put off quite a bit of heat once she goes to sleep. Once we make it back to the master bed room (gracefully avoiding the familiar walls of my inbound trip), I lay her in the bed and she drops right off. Unusual. She usually tosses, turns and kicks the living daylights out of me for a few hours. Now, I know what you are thinking. What kind of parent would put a young child in a water-bed! Of all the callous behavior! In my own defense, we let our children sleep in the bed because we don't when they are in it. I have spent many hours listening to the binary wonder whelps snooze away while I dance about the fringes of lucidity. If I feel that I cannot stay awake any longer, I try to make sure to pass off to Joyce. For the most part, we have the luck of having children made of pretty sturdy stuff. Not so sturdy though that they DEMAND that no less than 2 pillow be made available for their comfort though. I dare not tempt fate by only providing 1 pillow. Madness! A few hours later when Alexis lands on Joyce's side of the bed, the wife makes an observation. "She seems a bit too warm." I, believing that anything about -20 F is warm, concur. I mention that maybe we should take her temperature and Joyce makes her way to the nursery to fetch the array of thermometers there. I was certain that the 'other' would wake, but my wisp of a wife somehow manages to float in and out without disturbing him. I prop up Alexis so she can watch Sesame Street on the television and we proceed to give her the most ingenious invention. A pacifier that is a thermometer. Genius. While contemplating the technical aspects of this, I watch as the readout steadily climbs ... 98 .. 99.1 ... 99.7 ... 100.2 ... and up. My heart sinks as it finally stops at 103.2. It looks like we will be paying a visit to the pediatrician this morning instead of the barber shop. I ask the wife to make the call. We have to schedule for the day and they may not have a spot open till much later than their 9am opening time. I can see my skillfully crafted schedule crumble. I should know better by now. I sit there in the living room with Alexis in my lap, behaving in the most peculiar way. There is no way I would expect her to sit still for more than 30 seconds. But here she is, sitting in my lap and clutching at my chest. I want to give her something to make her more comfortable, though I know damn well if I do, she will perk right up and the doctors will pronounce her cured on sight. Minutes tick away and she slowly nods off. Joyce manages to get an appointment for 9:30. Im stunned. I do my best imitation of a lounge chair and hold Alexis till a bit after 9. I gently wake her and let her take her time to get up and go look for mommy. A short while later, we are leaving the pediatrician's office with the expected diagnoses. "Probably some virus, give her tylenol." . Well, its off to the barber shop then. And daddy will hold her and he shall ever more hold her this way.

# posted by mdmhvonpa @ 9:32 PM