White Lightning Axiom: Redux

Okay , even as an experienced raconteur ... gotta make this quick. I have a bazillion hours of meetings to attend over the next week and a birthday party (week-long) to prep for. I'm going to be busier than a puppy with two peters! So, into the mix we go as I attempt to apprise you, my faithful digesters of Haupertonain lore. Late Friday, I attempted to be a good Samaritan when i saw a rather large (by today's measure) sedan (think it was a crown vic) stopped on the side of the road. It looked as if it were riding rather low and when I passed it by, I noticed that the driver side front tire was indeed deflated. I thought it would make for some good brownie points in purgatory if I would lend a helping hand. No luck. The rather capable and fit man inside was busy on his black-berry calling for help as the 'on-star' sqawked away and the GPS busily informed him that he needed to turn right in 200 feet. When queried as to his situation, he grinned and noted that his axle had dropped and no change of vulcanized steel-belted rubber would do any good. Merrily, I departed and left him to his electronics. My points will have to remain unredeemed for now.

This weekend, the Mrs was heading up to Long Island, Bethpage, to visit some family and took Attila with her since, of the two, she can be the most manageable. She is the planner, that little one. Jake is more of an Implementation expert. Saturday, Ghengis and I pretty much just goofed off the entire day. Sure, I mowed the lawn, picked up dog poo (unfortunately, in that order), did some gardening, refilled the bird feeder with oil-seed, and generally took care of business inside when it was raining outside. He, being a little boy, watched transformer videos, played on the Wii (We only allow that console game, and no games that are sit-down) and asked for pizza or fries most of the time. Given his preference, we went out to the local 'Hole in the Wall' restaurant and bar to have nachos, fries, pizza, onion rings and deep fried cheese sticks. The pile of nacho had peppers in it with olives ... and I actually ate the olives. Those are one of my few disliked foods. Something odd is happening to my tastes.

Sunday was marginally more productive. The night before, I let him sleep on mommy's side of the bed, and at the weary hour of 0700, he slowly woke up, smiled and pointed out the open window where the sunlight was streaming in. Morning ... his favorite time of the day. Mostly, because his days hold so much promise of new activities and adventure. We are going to to our best to make sure that he can retain that joy for as long as possible. We watched his Transformer dvd in the morning until it was time to wash-up and head off to church. While there, we dropped off the recycling at the local parochial school (they get $$$ for it while I get charged for the local township charges a flat fee to take it from me [and probably toss it in with the regular garbage]) which lead to a detailed discussion on why we recycle and why trees are good. Right after church, we drove off to the Theater to watch wall-E. He was thirsty. We had gotten there just moments before the movie had started so I sat him down and was about to pay 55% for the 55 gallon drum of sugar suspended in water when I noted the line for rot-gut streamed all the way to Ohio. Lets see, leave him alone in a theater and trust he will not yell fire. Not on your life! He would have to wait till later when we stopped at Nifty-Fifty's. That, of course, did not turn out the way we had expected it. We both had hot dogs and malt-shakes. Difference is that on his last bite, he overstuffed his mouth, gagged and spewed a vile combination of digestive juices, chocolate shake and hot dog all over the place. I caught the first gallon or so, but the rest was spatter about, mostly on me. Mini-golf will have to wait till another day. We rushed home, took a bath and then he begrudgingly napped in the master suite mile-wide bed for a few hours. I had to stay there with him, of course. Not that I needed a nap or anything. Nope, not me. Not ... yawn .. meee... zzzzz.

Technorati Tags:Weekend | Family | Children

Labels: Children, Family, Weekend

Not a lot to add to the Haupertonian Chronicles today. Although, I usually do not post on Friday. Given that; standard fare, yesterday presented. Although, the TSD adult class was a real hum-dinger. Almost everyone in the class was as sweaty as I typically am. Even the Circle Sparring was invigorating. At the end of class, one of the participants, Sgt Awesome, announced that she would be riding in the MS-150 and is looking for donations. I immediately pulled out $20 and demanded that the rest of the crowd 'Man up!'. I gave her some tips and thanked her. She, of course, noted that although it would be warm, it could not be any worse than her tour of duty in Afghanistan.

More cheap meme cruft:

Welcome to the new 2008 edition of getting to know your family and friends. Here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then [send this to a bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you] post it. Some of you may get this several times; that means you have lots of friends. Have fun and be truthful!

1. What is your occupation right now? I write software so you can watch cable television.
2. What color are your socks right now? Black as my soul
3. What are you listening to right now? 100 code monkeys rattling away on the keyboards
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Oatmeal ... damn cholesterol
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Not without grinding gears
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My Scrum Team
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Certainly!
8. How old are you today? 1,274,869,412 seconds old give or take
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Curling
10. What is your favorite drink? The Ultimate Long Island Ice Tea in the Disney Contemporary Resort Bar ... 3rd floor.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Sun bleach only.
12. Favorite food? Easier to say I do not like raw swiss cheese, avocados and olives
13. What is the last movie you watched? Kung-Foo Panda
14. Favorite day of the year? Every day I wake up next to the Mrs
15. How do you vent anger? Vicious Lawn Work
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? The Mississippi
17. What is your favorite season? Spring
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Certainly!
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail(blog) you back? Is there any doubt that I am an extrovert?
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Everybody wants to be a cat! (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?)
21. Who is least likely to respond? Friggen Dick Nixon ... he is such a ... well.
22. Living arrangements? Domestic Warrior, Working Dad, Leader of the Horde. The Manor needs me to fill all the roles.
23. When was the last time you cried? I'm a bit of a pansy, but I read this story. If it does not move you, you are already dead inside.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? New Toys for the Children.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest {that you are sending to}? The Mrs.
26. What did you do last night? Swim with kid, TSD with kids, Snuggle with Kids ... trend?
27. What are you most afraid of? I fear what I may do if someone got between my family and myself.
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? HAMBURGER!!!! 9lb, please.
29. Favorite dog breed? Labs: Big, dumb, happy, loyal Labs.
30. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
32. Diamonds or pearls? Bleck ... I'm more of a Carbon Steel sort of guy.
33. What is your favorite flower? Morning Glory.

Technorati Tags:Meme | Swimming | Karate | Children | Multiple Sclerosis

Labels: Children, meme, Multiple Sclerosis, Swimming, TSD

Ok ... preoccupied today with work. Go figure. Yesterday I went out to lunch again (gasp!) ... and proceeded to burn 8$ on a sushi buffet. I think I got my money's worth, but I may have accidentally eaten one of the chop-sticks. Other than that, I just received another set of medical forms to fill out for more voluntary torture. You know, I try to stay in the network of doctors and such that are associated with the Mega-Hospital here and they just don't seem to be able to share this data. Stupid HIPAA making my writing hand cramp up and all. But whining is what I do best, you know. Some real top-shelf grousing here, cheap! Hmmm, what else ... oh, the Tyrants and I did some firefly hunting ... they were quite enthusiastic about it ... even though they are now allowed to exercise their 2nd amendment rights, they chose to use nets instead of the suppressive firepower of heavy weaponry. Tend not to catch much in the way of bugs when you start to bring out the napalm, oddly enough. Hrm, yes. TSD; good. Ghengis had to do a bazillion pushups though. Swimming; equally good except for me having to explain to Attila why she cannot wear a bikini even though the sufficiently robust young lady who was in the pool was wearing one. No, the facility rules say otherwise hon ... and I'm making some extra rules to boot.

Now, the meme for the day. Got this from Deb-Deb who got it from Liz:

1. Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done.
2. See if anybody else responds with "I've done that."
3. Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what scandalous unique things they've done in their life.

1. Held my twin newborns in the delivery room and told the Mrs that they are just as beautiful as her.
2. Stood on an expanse of land that is the family farm and could see no-one as far as the horizon. Really, truly, alone.
3. Was told by a doctor that I would most likely be in a wheel chair within 10 years. That was 12 years ago. I'm going to be testing for my black-belt in Tang So Doo early next year.

Sure it's not extraordinary, but hey, it's my story.

Technorati Tags:Meme | Swimming | Karate | Children | Medical Care

Labels: Children, Medical Care, meme, Swimming, TSD

At the moment, every little thing is copacetic at the Haupertonian Manor. Oddly enough, work has been rather mundane as well. Not so much that my experience was any different than normal or that much less painful, but the delta was significant enough to make me perceive that it was normal and hum-drum. The lack of various senior officers and potentates sending one countermand after another till my email inbox was at repletion, I do believe, was most likely the impetus for that deviation from the norm. Instead, I spent my time at a miniature golf outing and then promptly attended a group luncheon at a restaurant with wretched service. The food was palatable but the waitress was counting on her natural beauty to make up for her general lack of skill in customer satisfaction. In the end, she was savvy enough to write herself in for a 20% tip which we promptly downgraded to 15%. I suppose if she had not been so audacious, she would not have benefited from our obvious largess. I do believe that standard tipping starts at 15% for acceptable service ... we did not get exactly what we ordered. The hostess was alerted to this but we most likely will not be returning.

As for the children, the tyrants are getting back into the swing of things. Swimming was as swimming does. They have new swim shoes and are happy with them ... they like throwing 'wet balls' about in the pool so they are starting to learn about treading water. It's kinda like life training, you know. TSD was as good for them as it ws for me. They were a bit off their game, but that is to be expected. We did some exercises involving a jump, combat roll and a flying side-kick that the little one's really got into. Oh, and as for their day-time activities, they were promoted to the 'Big Kids Room', meaning that it's the last stop before they are paroled as "Reformed Citizens". Of course, this means no naps which works for me. Oddly enough, they have been eating their meals entirely and I do not need to admonish them for squishing their sandwiches into a glutinous mass of bread and byproduct in the plastic baggies. No tremulous lower lips to distract me from having fun with them. It's nice to take a break from 'Mean Daddy' mode every so often. They are nearing the days of 1st grade at the local parochial school ... I'll be saving that particularly sociopathic personality for the teachers and administrators.

The garden; doing quite well. All the leaf lettuce and spinach have been ripped out by the roots except for one forlorn row of buttercrunch. At the end of June, I'll need to till that row under and replant for the bumper crop. Tomatoes are on the vine now, but the peas are destined for a fate similar to the lettuce. Broccoli is producing diminishing returns, but the cabbage is almost the size of my head now. Potatoes are ok, but need to be tended to. Beans are coming up quite nicely. Onions are the size of baseballs. Beats, golf-ball mimicry. And then there are the summer squash and zucchini ... ahh yes. Much grilling is planned for those bad-boys! My cornocopia of produce is overflowing.

Technorati Tags:Garden | Swimming | Karate | Children | Work

Labels: Banalities Work, Children, Gardening, Swimming, TSD

I've been a bit busy of late and my blogging has had to suffer for it. A flagging desire to engage in word-smithing is not the primary issue here, just a symptom. I had planned to be a bit more verbose today, but the nature of the 'end of month' planning is chewing up my schedule something fierce. Old news is new news don't you know. I'll just dredge up some of my old complaints: End of sprint cycle coming up and along with it, a litany of meetings and impulse/ad-hoc status updates. The swimming and TSD with the children is back on track. After a week off with the Grandparents, they are utterly and totally spoiled. Forgot half of their forms and could not stay standing for more than a micro-second without fiddling. I expected this. Of course, we will have a repeat of this after the 'Week of Birthday Celebration' that is planned for the 4th of July. We have a lot of planning going into that week so I hope the Tyrants appreciate it. Just the 5th will be a logistical challenge in itself. I mean, how do you slow roast a Steak-osaurus Rex!?

Bad news ... I am taking a motorcycle safety course and the final test just happens to fall on the same day as the next TSD test; August 2nd. Oh, woe is me for I shall have to take an 'In Class' test which is essentially Master Smith spending all his energy on trying to break me down. Now the test itself is no less difficult than the effort I usually put into the class every night mind you. It will just be the probability that I'll get my tush whooped something fierce during the test. What I'm doing to save a few gallons of gasoline ... I'm considering the unintended consequences now. I hear you do not need a Class M license for a motor scooter. I would surely look manly on that, no?

And because I forgot to include links: I submit thoughts on health:viatmin-D and flossing.

Technorati Tags:Dentist | Swimming | Karate | Children | Work

Labels: Banalities Work, Children, Dentist, Karate, Swimming

Over the past weeks, much went afoul of which very little was under my control. The support phone is a maddening and vexing responsibility that can sap the very life out of a man in a mere few hours. The choler that emanates from aggrieved parties due to actions taken by their very hands that now grip the headset so tightly is unsurpassed. My coworkers are astounded at my foul luck. Each tour of duty is just as heinously renascent as the last. It is up to me to forget the bad time in the past and enjoy what I am doing now. The time we have spent at Sesame Place with Friends, the week at 'Camp Grandpa' that the kids just came back from ... those are good memories for me to hold on to. My capacious capacity for an egalitarian treatment of experiences makes this a tremendous task. So, here is the good: PT over, New Dentist that is close by, Sesame Place, Garden growing well, kids growing better, I'm getting a lot of opinions from doctors telling me that I'm in good shape. To the rest; PtttthhhhtTTT!

Technorati Tags:Health | Happiness | Children

Labels: Children, Happiness, Health

Still alive, work sucking life out of me ... posting shortly.

Technorati Tags:Work | Blogging

Labels: Banalities Work, Blogging

Been a bit preoccupied so I present you with this random meme filler:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnr d waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Technorati Tags:meme | blogging

Labels: Blogging, meme